The NyQuil is gonna win forever.

Word to the wise: if you work extra hours and weekends to prevent a layoff, you are on a sinking ship using a shot glass to keep water out. Let the ship sink.

Haunted houses are old. There’s no way McMansions will last long enough for ghosts to sprout.

Be warned. It’s a productivity sink. I had to block it because it was too distracting.

MLK was assassinated by the government

Let’s say that, hypothetically, this is true. Out of all the angles to compare Trump and Obama, does this guy really think that Trump’s relationship with marriage make him look better?

He didn’t want to be president. He just wanted to be popular.

He’s fallen pretty far from playing Jeff Bezos on Gumball.

The town also has gay liberals.

If they can’t change themselves, you can’t change them either.

Or you think it’s divorced dad rock and it’s actually about the devil

He thought he was on Google but was too lazy to delete the text field so he rolled with it.

He should have demanded $8 million and said that god would call him home if he didn’t reach his goal like what Oral Robert’s did.