Graduate early and then use my future knowledge to make a shit ton of money as early as I can, Then retire and finally relax for once in my two lives

Run around and climb shit?

I wouldn’t be arrested, but I’d definitely be on some watch lists

Someone should make a movie series of The Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire

Omg, I read your comment and immediately rushed to my favorite website for that to make sure it was still up.

Our holy lady of the spoon is still safe

Fuck the Switch 2

The moment I found out you’re not actually buying the console, The console still belongs to nintendo, you’re just paying for the license to play it for a little while and it can be bricked at any time, i lost all respect for or urge to buy any nintendo products

We had this in texas but it’s illegal now.

I think it’s illegal in six other states too.

Reasons stated: Protect the economics of the cattle industry and to protect public health

No more beyond steak tips in my pasta, For the good of public health and to support the sale of real cow meat that I already never buy…

I love this idea but what if he was bernie sanders vice president first?

My biggest complaint for people saying sanders should be next is that I think he’s too old, But if john Stewart was his vice president I would love that idea. And then immediately follow up with two terms of Stewart

Pretty sure every alaskan ever would be against this

WTF is happening in the world rn? Why are all the right wingers taking control? I thought it was just the US going through a crazy-stupid phase

I dont make enough to afford a shrink, But I do get one day a sick leave per month to use when I can’t get out of bed.

Trust me, I would love to see a head doctor, But this is the best I can do right now

It doesn’t mean I don’t have mental illness it means i’m doing the best I can with what I got

I would love to have yes man as my personal assistant

Ham & Eggs - “Hey my niggas”

Someones about to get smacked for ordering breakfast

Just got some at my local HEB, they’re still ¢87 there

Sometimes, it really depends on my mood and what im doing

“Seriously? Do I look like I have money?”

Insert Eric Andre meme - " Why would the other politicians do this?"

AI gains sentience,

first thing it develops is impostor syndrome, depression, And intrusive thoughts of self-deletion

Oh fuck… winter is cumming ☹️

They just have to stay away till the 22nd right?