Good question. They don’t. Neither do people, hence the ironic consequences.

Here’s the real genie answer, complete with ironic consequences based on a literal interpretation.

If you understood genies, you would know that twisting your words is par for the course, if not the whole point (⌐■_■)

Granted. You get dog food twice per day, as usual.

Granted. One of your testicles grows back.

I wonder what the dog would wish for?

Plot twist: by the time we or a descendant species dyson-sphere the sun, we’re tunneling into alternative earths in alternate solar systems, many of which don’t have a Mars.

Ugh, why’d they put cilantro on it?

This meme got big lamp energy.

Mine stopped working. I don’t know what it was doing before, but it’s not doing it now.

I really appreciate you taking the time to add to the shitpost-verse lore by applying logic and detail to this crossover.

Edit: Replied at the wrong level again. Please downvote my shame. I did.

If I remember correctly, lava lamps have a heating element, so there’s a chance this might not be too bad.

Whoa, Black Betty! Blamp-a-lamp!

JAKE: All right, Fiske, Jones, Thompkins- Smith. Smith. Whoa, hey, NYPD, freeze! Slow down! This isn’t fair! I have a cane. Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop. NYPD. NYPD. I need to commandeer this vehicle.

JESSICA: It’s a crossover. It’s a crossover SUV, and you can’t have it.

JAKE: I’m a cop can you please get out of the car?

JESSICA: No, this Schmidt’s mom’s car, and I’m more scared of her than I am of some two-bit thug.

JAKE: I’m not a thug I’m police.

JESSICA: Okay, then name one law.

JAKE: Don’t kill people.

JESSICA: That’s on me I set the bar too low.

Thanks!

I wonder if the AI bothered to interpret the license plate, map it to a location, and add cultural influences from that region. I kind of doubt it, but I don’t think it’s outside the realm of possibility.

It was AI. I know we generally don’t like that here, but I feel like transparency should be a minimum standard for the use of AI.

Oscar Wilde: “There are only two tragedies…”