I’m watching today’s City vs Tottenham game and wondering if this is the first time we are seeing alien playing football. The body of Jack Grealish is so unique that even on the slightest touch his whole structure transforms into a unique artistic shape.
Sometimes just a tap on the back is enough for him to enter the “parachute pose” and prepare himself for landing.
But things get surreal when sudden gentle wind gusts hit his back and he transforms into a ballet dancer.
What do you guys think? Is he a shape-shifter? Is he possessed by Harry Potter magic? Is there a need to introduce another VAR just for him? Can anyone from the world of men stop him?
PS: Simon Hooper, you are utterly incompetent and the last-minute decision against my shape-shifter boy is a disgrace.
This post is an automated archive from a submission made on /r/PremierLeague, powered by Fediverser software running on alien.top. Responses to this submission will not be seen by the original author until they claim ownership of their alien.top account. Please consider reaching out to them let them know about this post and help them migrate to Lemmy.
Lemmy users: you are still very much encouraged to participate in the discussion. There are still many other subscribers on !premierleague@soccer.forum that can benefit from your contribution and join in the conversation.
Reddit users: you can also join the fediverse right away by getting by visiting https://portal.alien.top. If you are looking for a Reddit alternative made for and by an independent community, check out Fediverser.
Lol, he’s a floor magnet for sure.
Part fish since he just flops on land
You must feel some level of embarrassment posting this?
Irish
He is a natural born swimmer like Phelps but stuck in the wrong sport.
Can’t judge a fish by how it climbs a tree
I don’t know how anyone can be both that outrageous rich and that good looking as him. Must have done a deal with some entity like Satan or Cthulhu or Sauron.
One of the great divers of our time.
Water, 35 liters; carbon, 20 kilograms; ammonia, 4 liters; lime, 1.5 kilograms; phosphorus, 800 grams; salt, 250 grams; saltpeter, 100 grams; sulfur, 80 grams; fluorine, 7.5; iron, 5; silicon, 3 grams; and trace amounts of 15 other elements.
He has personality. That’s why City had to replace him.
It’s the pints
You must have missed his best work earlier this season. Somebody slammed a toilet door at the emptihad and he performed a wonderful triple pirouette followed by a downward pike! This was only matched by his ‘phoenix’ like resurrection when no free kick was given!
90% golden retriever, 10 human.
He’s made of what they remove to make Weebles.
It’s when you get a brown nose on commentary that says “he’s so good at winning free kicks” haha absolute floor magnet always looking for it.