I’ve got a male friend getting married soon. He struggled to invite many of our other male friends as he didn’t know their surnames, addresses, or in some cases phone numbers. These are close long term friends.

He can however tell you a hundred stories about stupid stuff our friend Adam has done while drunk.

I just don’t think male conversation includes details or personal stuff often.

Is an outsider perspective allowed? I have 2 older brothers close in age. My oldest brother has very superficial relationships with his “friends”. In German, he would call these types of people “Bekannte” or “Leute mit denen ich rausgehe” (people I hang out with).

He is in general quite closed up and I can remember that he had a sharp change of heart when he was about 16. For a reason that he won’t disclose. When you ask him about anything that would need any type of reflection on his part it’s typically “I don’t know” and “Why do you ask?”. His friends are similar and when someone tries to talk about something more personal you can feel the awkwardness and it’s usually shortly discussed then brushed aside with a joke to change topics.

My other brother has actual friends. They buy each other gifts for their birthdays, call each other when something happened and they need advice or vent. Just “normal” stuff from my perspective.

Interesting things I’ve seen over the decades I studied them: In oldest brothers people-group the wives and girlfriends don’t really mix with their husbands/boyfriends. They mostly meet separately.

My older brother is much more irritated when my other brother asks him about personal stuff than when I do it.

I don’t think he talks with anyone about how he’s feeling, apart from his nervous breakdown each year on Christmas.

I know what industry they work at, but if they switched to a different employer, I might only find out months or years later sometimes because we almost never talk about work outside of work unless someone asks for advice.

Birthdays are actually quite easy, every time I learn of someone’s birthday, I put it on an app called Birday and I get a notification two weeks before their birthday. Before that, I missed people’s birthdays regularly.

I know if they are single/have a partner/married, have kids or not, or are divorced, but I might not know if they have had an argument with their partner and are sleeping on the couch or something.

At the same time, I have a lot of personal things I don’t share with anyone, and I don’t expect them to share it with me. I just prefer it this way.

I stood up in my best friend’s wedding, and he took the photos at mine. I went in and covered for him when his wife started labor for their first child. I bailed him out of jail when we had a particularly wild night of drinking. We often have the same or very similar daily driver vehicles. I wrote him letters and post cards nearly every day when he was in basic training, and they were such a hit with his group, he asked me to write them all a letter. I’ve known him 18 years, could not with confidence tell you his age.

Hi there, can attest: have a childhood friend whom I’ve known for years, know surprisingly little about him. I think it might be a cultural thing, for men to not bond too deeply, which is a damn shame.

I mostly know what they do for a living. I am not really sure how old they are or what are their birthdays. But it simply isnt relevant.

I had my bachelor’s party weekend last weekend, and my best man rented an airbnb. We were 9 guys and some of them did not know each other before. Doesnt matter, we had beer and a great time. I think, such details really dont matter, if not for small talk.

I don’t have any male friends. Most of the dudes I’ve interacted with in my life have been very different than I and had personalities that clashed with mine.

I’m not into trucks or sports or betting and I find punch-down jokes in poor taste so I don’t hang with guys.