I answered my work phone with “Morgans Morgue; you kill’em, we chill’em” once. My coworker did not expect that and cracked up.
I’ve used the same line with different slogan a few times, but that’s the one that worked the best.
“[your city] Police, how can I help you.”
This one’s pretty mild: I always answer my phone with “Yellow?”
Nobody has ever noticed or questioned me about it.
My entire family “Yello”s!
I answer my phone with it all the time and nobody’s ever commented.
Welcome to the wooorld of tomorroooow!
“Catholic freight depot random city” makes callers pause for a second to think about what they just heard.
Oooo I love this one, the dissonance is excellent!
“Republican Bakery”
City morgue, you stab 'em, we slab 'em
Or you slice 'em, we ice (or dice, if you want gruesome) 'em
Joe’s pool hall, 8 ball speaking
Sam’s sanitarium, what nut do you want?
Town grocery, you want the fruit or the vegetable?
Bill’s grill, where our meat fits your buns, how can we serve?
Bill’s grill, where we shove our greasy meat in your mouth, how can we serve?
I used to have a whole list of these things I picked up over the years, but being able to ignore calls without having to hear them ring has made me forget a lot more
I’ve heard the morgue one before, but I heard it as, “You stab 'em, we bag 'em!”
My dad’s one was always “You kill 'em, we chill 'em”
