Do you feel like it’s possible to accurately imagine or even describe what it’s like to be high when you aren’t? Every single time I get high, the experience always sort of, surprises(?) me, as being so drastically different from what I might have anticipated. It’s always such a paradigm shift in how I experience my Self and my place in the “universe.” (Currently at a 5.)
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A friend described it once as like the feeling you get when you’re reading a good book, and are really into it and then take a break to get up. Suddenly you’re back in the real world and not quite sure how much time has passed. Being high is like that, but it happens every 30 seconds.
It’s been well over a decade since the last time I got high, but for me personally it was like the pattern-recognition portion of my mind would go into overdrive and start making all sorts of connections that just weren’t there. Scribbles on a page would be the beginnings of a beautiful landscape or figure drawing. A song lyric might suddenly be a commentary on my entire life or life and the universe as a whole. A small throwaway line in a movie might suddenly put everything else that’s happened into question. In some cases this was an amazing thing to have because you’d make connections you might not have normally, but unless you wrote it down, those connections were lost or meaningless by the time you came down. And even if you did write it down, it still might be meaningless.
In my case though, it often lead to a lot of paranoia, as scenarios I would imagine in my head might sound just as real in my head as if they were actually happening. I remember one time I was in our basement, I heard a SWAT team bust down the door into my house and everyone charging to the basement door screaming, “He’s down there! He’s down there!” Then… silence. A few moments/minutes later, the door slowly creaked open and one of our cats came down. My heart was pounding out of my chest. I finally got the courage to go upstairs and look, there was nobody there, door was fine, nothing.
I think people put way too much pressure on themselves to “get high” and then end up having bad experiences. Cannabis is best enjoyed in moderation as a nice seasoning to your experience. It’s the difference between having a glass of wine or a beer and getting falling down drunk. I don’t think you should try it again if you don’t want to but others are reading this please just try having a small amount and enjoying a very mild buzz.
I enjoy a few hits a couple times per week. Gives me a very mild buzz and helps me sleep better. I have no desire to get high.
I misunderstood that your normal experience was the bad one and that you had given it up (which is fine with me!). Thanks for helping me understand
When i had my first joint after years of abstinence i would describe the feeling as: “your view happens with 5FPS and your thoughts happen with 500FPS”