I gotta ask, do you think guys just sit around saying shit like “bro I was raping this girl just the other day…” or something? Or should I just go “Now Tommy, it’s important for you to learn about consent. Yes I know you’re 10yr older than I am, but I was told by internet people I have to educate my friends” instead, just make the conversation happen?
Idk about you guys but me and my friends barely even talk about sex much less details that would be criminal, which people usually try to hide. Usually the farthest it goes is “What up dude you trying to chill tonight?” “Nah sorry man I’m trying to get laid tonight, wyd tomorrow?” And then tomorrow… “So how’d it go, get laid?” “Ye.” “Nice. Yo check out this album I downloaded last night…”
And when you find out your friend has raped someone which always is found out through the girl, not the friend, because again these people know they’re committing literal crime, you don’t sit him down and explain what he did wrong as if he didn’t know, you call the cops or you cut contact, maybe some violence thrown in. It’s like that meme “nobody is recommending OSes to their friends” (of course haha linux, but that’s where the parallel falls apart.)
So you’ve never overheard someone make a tasteless joke and ignored it or laughed it off? If not, congrats (maybe get your hearing checked though). Right now there are a bunch of right wing douchebags slapping each other on the back over this rape joke. Just say something if you hear it dude, that’s all we really want. Nobody’s going to murder you. Calm down.
Well, I have heard some from like comedians or whatever, and maybe back when I was in school some dickhead I don’t talk to would make some joke, but those are a far cry from “friends,” who I do talk to. Now working in a corporate environment, no, I definitely don’t hear HR bait like that ever, most people are a tad smarter than that it seems.
It could be that I’m “friends” with my “friends” because “none of us are the type to rape people” and stuff, of course. Maybe you’re just hanging out with rapists and I’m not?
And when did I say I was worried about being killed? Statistically if I am, it probably was my partner, since that’s how that works, but I’m simply speaking on the logistics of educating my friends about rape, it’s just not something that’s gonna come up like that, we’re just trying to play spades and sip some whiskey we’re not interrogating each other over our sexual history.
It’s not just your friends you should be giving feedback to, but I think you get what I was trying to say and you’re just being a bit of a pedant right now. You do your thing. If you’re not worried about violence then obviously this comment thread wasn’t meant for you. The guy I was replying to WAS worried about it, so I gave him an actionable way to improve things.
Feels like you’re being very defensive here. Just don’t be a shitty guy, and call out shitty guys when you see them if you want to make shit better. It’s not that deep.
me: “i’m kind of sick of women assuming i’m a murderer or a rapist just because i’m a man who happens to be standing near them”
intellectual women, invariably: “if you aren’t personally talking to your friends about why rape is wrong, the fact that women assume that about you is your fault”
me: “i’m kind of sick of women assuming my friends are rapists just because they happen to be men”
Women don’t owe you trust. They have reason to be afraid. There are a lot of shitty men out there. You’re sick of people making assumptions about you, women are sick of being raped and murdered. If you’re not doing anything to change things, then stop whining and let women defend themselves.
Maybe try to get your bros to mind their manners so nobody feels the need to test out body disposal methods.
I gotta ask, do you think guys just sit around saying shit like “bro I was raping this girl just the other day…” or something? Or should I just go “Now Tommy, it’s important for you to learn about consent. Yes I know you’re 10yr older than I am, but I was told by internet people I have to educate my friends” instead, just make the conversation happen?
Idk about you guys but me and my friends barely even talk about sex much less details that would be criminal, which people usually try to hide. Usually the farthest it goes is “What up dude you trying to chill tonight?” “Nah sorry man I’m trying to get laid tonight, wyd tomorrow?” And then tomorrow… “So how’d it go, get laid?” “Ye.” “Nice. Yo check out this album I downloaded last night…”
And when you find out your friend has raped someone which always is found out through the girl, not the friend, because again these people know they’re committing literal crime, you don’t sit him down and explain what he did wrong as if he didn’t know, you call the cops or you cut contact, maybe some violence thrown in. It’s like that meme “nobody is recommending OSes to their friends” (of course haha linux, but that’s where the parallel falls apart.)
So you’ve never overheard someone make a tasteless joke and ignored it or laughed it off? If not, congrats (maybe get your hearing checked though). Right now there are a bunch of right wing douchebags slapping each other on the back over this rape joke. Just say something if you hear it dude, that’s all we really want. Nobody’s going to murder you. Calm down.
Well, I have heard some from like comedians or whatever, and maybe back when I was in school some dickhead I don’t talk to would make some joke, but those are a far cry from “friends,” who I do talk to. Now working in a corporate environment, no, I definitely don’t hear HR bait like that ever, most people are a tad smarter than that it seems.
It could be that I’m “friends” with my “friends” because “none of us are the type to rape people” and stuff, of course. Maybe you’re just hanging out with rapists and I’m not?
And when did I say I was worried about being killed? Statistically if I am, it probably was my partner, since that’s how that works, but I’m simply speaking on the logistics of educating my friends about rape, it’s just not something that’s gonna come up like that, we’re just trying to play spades and sip some whiskey we’re not interrogating each other over our sexual history.
It’s not just your friends you should be giving feedback to, but I think you get what I was trying to say and you’re just being a bit of a pedant right now. You do your thing. If you’re not worried about violence then obviously this comment thread wasn’t meant for you. The guy I was replying to WAS worried about it, so I gave him an actionable way to improve things.
Feels like you’re being very defensive here. Just don’t be a shitty guy, and call out shitty guys when you see them if you want to make shit better. It’s not that deep.
this guy very much hasn’t. his comment history is damning to say the least
me: “i’m kind of sick of women assuming i’m a murderer or a rapist just because i’m a man who happens to be standing near them”
intellectual women, invariably: “if you aren’t personally talking to your friends about why rape is wrong, the fact that women assume that about you is your fault”
me: “i’m kind of sick of women assuming my friends are rapists just because they happen to be men”
Women don’t owe you trust. They have reason to be afraid. There are a lot of shitty men out there. You’re sick of people making assumptions about you, women are sick of being raped and murdered. If you’re not doing anything to change things, then stop whining and let women defend themselves.