• PenguinJuice@kbin.social
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      1 year ago

      We need to seriously, as a society, treats this level of greed as a serious, in patient, mental illness that requires treatment.

      • NielsBohron@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        Friend, you’re absolutely correct. And while I love punctuation as much as the next person, you need to ease up on the commas almost as much as we need to ease up on fossil fuel consumption.

          • NielsBohron@lemmy.world
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            1 year ago

            No it’s not.

            We need to seriously, as a society, treats this level of greed as a serious, in patient, mental illness that requires treatment.

            1. “As a society,” could be placed at the beginning of the sentence instead of as an interjection, which eliminates the need for one comma.
            2. The verbs are conjugated incorrectly; “treats” should be in the infinitive, since “need” is the active verb.
            3. “In patient” should be hyphenated.
            4. “In patient” should not have a comma after it, since it is the last adjective in a list. “Mental” is not an adjective in this instance, because it is part of the noun.
            5. Using “seriously” and “serious” in the same sentence is repetitive and unnecessary.
            6. “That requires treatment” is redundant, as OP already said “treat " and “in-patient,” which implies “that requires treatment.” Personally, to clear things up I would uncouple"in-patient” from “serious mental illness,” which takes care of several of these issues.
            7. If you ever see four commas in a non-compound sentence, it’s almost certainly done incorrectly. At the very least, the structure could probably be cleaned up.

            Here’s what the sentence could look like:

            As a society, we need to diagnose this level of greed as a serious mental illness requiring in-patient care.

            See? Cleaned it right up. Now it’s down to fewer words and fewer commas while conveying the exact same information.

            Remember folks: “when in doubt, leave it out.”

            • eggmasterflex@lemmy.world
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              1 year ago

              I just meant the commas, which are placed correctly as they are. The only thing I’m unsure of is if “seriously” should have a comma before it, too. Anyway, I also enjoy pedantic arguments.

            • Cruxifux@lemmy.world
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              1 year ago

              Remember when everyone got together online and decided that we love people who point out grammatical errors in social media?

      • A_Random_Idiot@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        No, Just need to kill them and process the remains into fertilizer. Then seize their wealth and use it to fund counters to climate change.

      • Billiam@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        Not just greed, but the sheer level of sociopathy you have to possess to be a CEO. That level of “don’t give a fuck about anyone except shareholders” will be the downfall of humanity.