• Gabe Bell@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    Yeah – I am not a good person.

    My first thought was “use a sniper rifle to shoot the cat. Then take the key off its cold, dead corpse”

      • Gabe Bell@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        (grin) If the story doesn’t mention it then I assume it’s not a part of the deal.

        • oatscoop@midwest.social
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          1 year ago

          At best you’re going to be stuck with someone that’s pissed you killed her cat. Even if she sticks to the deal she’s going to make your life miserable. And if she is the cat …

          If you can’t charm her: tranquilizer dart gun. Then a romantic getaway at your hidden base that’s also an active volcano. Apologize for your crude methods, but justify them. Point out how horrible those other men were, in fact how horrible humanity is as a whole. “We’re not so different, you and I”, etc.

          Wine and dine her while you explain your plan for world domination. You want the hot shapeshifter on your side – don’t screw it up.

        • ArcaneSlime@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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          1 year ago

          I mean, if she is the cat, and you kill the cat and take the key in order to marry the woman, then you will be marrying the corpse of the woman you just killed. Seems like it might be a bit of a plot point that you don’t kill the woman (or do, but that’s a very different film.)

    • LemmyKnowsBest@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      Which maybe says a lot about you because the point of the story is something that a lot of people have known for centuries: Men who know how to treat a cat and earn its affection, are more likely to have success with women, if they apply the same delicate empathetic approach.

      So, how are you doing in the woman-romance area?

    • Tavarin@lemmy.ca
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      1 year ago

      Yeah, what a way to get a woman to want to marry you, kill her pet (/her).

    • kase@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      If it’s evil, but it works… well ig it’s still evil ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯