Here’s a better idea. No refs. Both captains have an argument between them about whether the ball was in or not, and whether it was or wasn’t a foul.

Someone’s dad keeps time. Bonus points if they own the whistle and don’t need to borrow one.

No handball unless a player physically catches the ball. Slapping the ball is fine as long as the offending player just says it was ball to hand.

It’s only offside if the offending player was in the box and was too lazy to try and run back.

If losing, the home team captain can take the ball and go home.