I enjoy job simulator type games and really like the aspect of decorating and taking something and improving it. I’m a sucker for visual progress and I’m comfortable with physical labor in real life, so why can I only do it in games and structured activities?
Is it a lack of motivation?
Walk us through what happens when you decide to do the dishes? What is the process for preparing? What actually happens?
Are you unable to force yourself to “just do it?”
Is this a constant issue and does it cause trouble for you in your life? E.g. always a pile of dirty dishes in the sink, can’t have people over, etc?
When I want to do dishes I usually start sitting at my desk or laying down on the couch or bed. Then I think about how if I want to eat later I’m going to have to do dishes because I’m out of clean plates/silverware/bowls/pots. Then I think about how I mind as well round up all the dishes in the apartment. Then I want to clean up the apartment. Then I usually start wanting to clean my room because it’s gross. And then I think that I’m gross and should shower and brush my teeth. Then I get depressive and stay where I was feeling bad.
Sometimes I manage to power through and because the dishes are backed up so much I get the hot water going and let the dishes soak for a few minutes, then I have to overcome depressive thoughts again and do the dishes otherwise I sleep on the couch and the entire day has failed.
When I do manage to do dishes anyways I can only do so much until the drying rack is full, and when it’s full I just drain the water and grab whatever I cleaned to make spaghetti or something.
Depression & shame is rough. I fight that all the time too. Both are very demotivating. Hopefully you will find the exercise helpful. I am trying to get back to that again too. I walked to the store and back (15 min, hills) Sunday. I didn’t get a chance to do anything today. Will try again tomorrow.
What (sometimes) helps me in situations like that is exercise in a gym and a plan for the day that includes leaving the house. Most days are though tough.