So, for a while, I (22F) only devoted (romantically) time and attention to Aiko (23F), my fiancée, as I have been dating her since I was 18 and I was monogamous for so long as I hadn’t met the right one. When I came to the USA and started to live with my parents near my friend Beth, I met this guy she knew since high school, Will, and we really clicked.

Will (23NB, [he/they so you don’t think I’m gendering him wrong]) is very hung up on this guy. We have been dating for like almost 4 months while he has been dating this new guy, Dave (26M), for about 2. They have sleepovers together, play video games, and all that stuff, but when I ask if he wants to sleep over or hang out, he will once in a blue moon. usually he barely answers my texts and is busy with Dave. He especially has been spending more attention on him due to Dave’s depression and his failure to respond to his text messages, making him cry so he’s been worried about him.

I get that, but even when he’s not worried and even when it’s been a while since they started dating, even when we started dating and stopped being just friends, he stopped responding. I tried texting him and he was like “Oh, I’m sorry” and continued.

has anyone else been in the same boat?

  • Spacehooks@reddthat.comEnglish
    3·
    2 months ago

    maybe think about is this really poly? My view on poly relationship is you should have multiple ppl giving you love otherwise this is an open relationship and you could just go elsewhere.

    You are always free to reevaulte any relationship. Start on the basics like: What are you getting and giving in relationship? Is this relationship long term or short term? Is this situation just temporary one off or does it seem like a pattern? What did you think you sign up for when starting the relationship? Are expectations being met and are they reasonable/practical?

    I always say any relationships are like bank accounts they need to balance out for all parties involved.

    • Wendy (she/her)@piefed.socialOPEnglish
      2·
      2 months ago

      Hmm, thanks. Well in that case I think we’re just seeing how it goes and we’re trying to go long term, maybe get married if he “believes in” marriage (some people don’t) and it happens a lot but I’m fine being his side girl if he continues loving me. I will always support him like a loyal girlfriend.

      • Spacehooks@reddthat.comEnglish
        2·
        2 months ago

        If you are fine then you’re fine but dont deny yourself happiness if you do want more later. Many others are in same boat and leaving gave them happiness. Others it was just simple adult talk “hey can you spend some more time with me or schedule me in” lol.

        Side note: my SO wanted to know what he thinks your relationship is. Because it could be a miscommunication on what he thinks the relationship is as well. Ive seen that happen before when one party is more emotionally invested than the other.