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  • 4 Posts
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Joined 11 months ago
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Cake day: July 31st, 2023

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  • This was going to be my suggestion. But even day time is good for this. I did security for 12 years. The vast majority of jobs are sitting on your ass watching movies on your phone. Couple tips if you go the security route:

    Security is different in each US state (if you’re in another country this whole thing is gonna be meaningless). In some states it requires a 40 hour course, in others a 10 minute training class. it varies widely, find out what your states guidelines are.

    If you get certed for security, you’ll never want for a shitty, low paying job. If you get fired, there’s another job around the corner. But, contracts change a lot, so don’t get too attached to any one post.

    Gate guard is primo. You normally get a shack, you’re normally alone, and you normally deal with people only during shift changes. That means 6 hours of an 8 hour shift are totally yours.

    Hospital security SUCKS.

    If you need extra cash, concerts and other events pay well, and you get to listen to live music for free.

    If you live anywhere with Weather™ put a change of clothes, food, sleeping bag and other gear in your car. I once got stuck on a post, snowed in, for 4 days.

    Keep shit in your car in general. A steam deck is awesome, a switch is good.

    If you’re on a post with another person, like 2 guards in a tiny shack for 8 hours, make sure you’re upfront about if you’re an intro/extrovert. Most guards have been doing it for long enough that they truly don’t care if you don’t wanna speak at all in 8 hours, they just wanna know up front where their plans should be. Nothing more irritating than thinking you’re gonna have a friend for a day and end up bored because you didn’t bring your stuff with you (which is why you should keep it in your car), or thinking you’re going to have a day to catch up on school/video games/shows and you can’t get 5 minutes to yourself because the other guard won’t STFU

    You are not a cop. Don’t act like a cop. You aren’t even Paul blart. You’re a person in a uniform made of old trash bags whose whole job is to get an insurance discount for the company you’re posted at

    The guard shack almost never has cameras, and for some reason, people on tinder/Grindr are freaking wild about hooking up in a guard shack

    ETA: only thing better than gate guard is posts where they want you to park your own car and sit in it for your shift. You just sit in your car all day/night. Which means your own sound system, and basically everything you wanna bring with you at your fingertips. It’s awesome.

    Also, midsize semi local security companies are better. Securitas and similar companies are kinda shitty, and the really small ones are always, like, weirdly militant. If you happen to be in Tennessee or Virginia I can probably hook you up with a company that’ll get you a good post.




  • I honestly used to love a traffic jam on the way to work. An extra hour I wasn’t at work, just chillin’ listening to my music, not being at fucking work. It was great. If traffic was completely stopped, like put it in park, turn off the ignition stopped, then it was Netflix on my phone time baby.

    Traffic jams on the way home suuuucked though. At the time real time traffic info in my area was spotty at best, though. Almost impossible to use as an excuse now.