FnordPrefect [comrade/them, he/him]

“Calm down! That’s his leg…”

“Irradiate the Roads? You don’t actually believe this do you?”

“Eh, gotta irradiate something!”

“Doctor, you have to help me! I keep having this dream where I’m a car, but I’m always just stuck in traffic!”

‘Ah yes, the meaning here is quite clear…’

“Is it because of my subconscious dissatisfaction with the meaningless, repetitive grind that my life has become in this techno-hell dystopia?”

‘No no no, nothing like that. It just means you need to pony up the $15.99 monthly to upgrade your REM Ember’s subscription out of Serf Tier.’

Gilligan’s ISSland

“That’s right! It’s going well…”

“Sure it is. It’s just the coming back that’s causing trouble!”

Nominative determinism strikes again!

Would it be a reasonable guess that this could be caused by untreated farm runoff from infected cows’ poo?

Pb is yellow and there are two more colors to go…

Ohh, so that’s the deal with airline food

The US army has been training these militants inside Al-Tanf under the pretext of confronting ISIS.

“Look, just put these two letter patches after your name and we’ll fund you instead of fight you. Deal?”

One month later

“We’re pleased to announce the eradication of ISIS with the heroic deeds of our forces in the area: ISISN’T”

“If we stop testing right now, we’d have very few [concerns], if any.”

“This isn’t really our fault. Our “missing” money spreadsheets were in trillions and only configured for 2 decimal spaces, so another billion more or less gets lost all the time!”

Maybe by “Maverick side” they mean like Tom Cruise in Top Gun: really enthusiastic about guns and missiles, and just fighting imperialist wars in general?

Will Stancil: “If you could stop letting your self be tricked by reality and look at the data you’d clearly see that Biden solved the gun violence problem since the rate of increase of mass shootings has gone down from last year.”

And that’s not even with the “real man” window extensions that stick out another 3 feet to see around all the nothing they’re hauling

“Ask not, ‘Can we afford to?’ but ‘Can we afford not to?’ Have you seen the MIC lately?!”

“What?! No! My identity is “Truck”. And the bigger the truck the more my identity it is!”

Court documents show the charges were dropped due to a lack of evidence.

At least three sources of video of him committing murder, six shots worth of ballistics used to commit murder, and the body of the man he just murdered is a lack of evidence?!

🎵 We’ll send him shitty contracts
the worst we can find

He’ll have to strike through them all
and we’ll monitor his mind 🎵