Or…3rd option. Revert back to Windows XP.

I’m not usually one to be a stickler for the completionist mentality. But NOWS THE TIME BOYS!!! LIGHT EM UP!!!

Downvoted. Not because I think reddit is better, but because this is clearly a circklejerk post, and what’s more reddit than THAT???

Short answer: American kids are too dumbto not choke on toys.

So, trumps polling all time low numbers, democrats are polling low numbers.

I feel like if I release T-Shirts that just say “Everything sucks”, they would be universally popular.

Don’t feel bad. I had that exact same back and forth with myself.

I was also half asleep, high, and pooping, and I still figured it out on my own…so maybe feel a LITTLE bit bad.

I never met your grandpa…unless I have, and never knew it…anyways, point is, he sounds like good people. I wish he were still killing nazis. The world needs more dead nazis right now. Our country is lousy with them.

Every time I hear the name Jesse Eisenberg, THIS IS ALL I CAN THINK OF

No good content??? My man!!! Have you not heard of Nicole??? The fediverse chick!!! Watch as she mindlessly smokes a cigerette as she stares blankly at her monitor.

Or you could try Veronica, as she uploads several videos every minute. All about Linux. Nobody knows how she does it…

And I’M STILL WAITING!!! I ordered this pizza in 1997! How long does it TAKE???

Downvoted because digiorno is owned by nestle…and nestle is evil.

How much cheese is too much cheese?

As I read this, I thought you were going to tell a story about how you tried stealing candy from a baby, but failed because the baby was just TOO strong.

As a Clevelander, who’s used some of those same talking points…are you making a padody of me? You following me around?

I’m on just a regular browser. Can I do this? I don’t use apps.

The rich?

we don’t have the tech to make an arm that can exceed human levels of strength without damaging something.

What if I don’t need it to be gentile? Maybe I want to be Doctor Octopuss from spiderman, and just smash the city with big metalic arms. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to destroy the world, because this world SUCKS! Have you seen…ya know, things??? I don’t know a single person who’s like “Yes, things are certainly going well.”

Am I the only one who says “Smoo”?

Ew, those poor balls. Having to be squished in cheeto dust and sweat. Disgusting! I would NEVER subject my balls to the mistreatment of letting trump sexually engage with me! Ew ew ew! I take care of my balls properly, and care for them with manscaped! Use coupon code DystopianNightmare for 15% off your first order!

(And you guys thought the fediverse was immune to ads!)

I thought the punchline was going to be something like “My wife said she saw a fox on the way to work. I had to to explain to her what a mirror was. Such a ditzy blonde!”