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Cake day: May 7th, 2024

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  • Oh…apperently I’m too evil to be a cashier.

    I wouldn’t murder. I would go about my day, without a trace of evidence that I’m even angry.

    I’d just come over, help the guy, and take note of his appearance, and the current time. Then I’d head to the back after my shift, and talk to the security guy. I’d make up some reason I have to check the security tapes. But I’d do it in a way that sounds like it’s just buddys being buddies. Nothing suspicious.

    Then I’d watch the tape 10 minutes after the encounter. I’d watch the parking lot. See where he goes. Find him getting into his car. Take note the make and model of the car, and the liscense plate.

    Now I use public records to track him down. I find out his name, his address, his work, his life. I find out everything I can about him.

    Now I hire the biggest musclehead there is. Not to beat him up, but to have an affair with his wife. Make his wife feel properly fucked and orgasm multiple times. Make it a regular thing. All without the wife realizing it’s a ploy.

    His marriage ends, as his wife no longer loves him. And NOW the real plan can commence.

    I’d hire a woman who looks visually similiar to his wife, but much more dominant. I’d hire her to seduce him, but also take control of their relationship. She’d have him whipped, and play off his emotional insecurity that he would lose her if he doesn’t do what she wants. And she’d get demanding, and have him whipped.

    She would eventually take him to an actual dungeon. She’d get him naked, and tied up, laying on his back with his ankles being worn as earrings. And as he’d tied in that position, completely vunerable, that’s when I emerge from the shadows, revealing my master plan for revenge!

    Except, it was a forgetable moment, 5 years ago. He has no idea who I am. Doesn’t matter. He’s already in position, and I’ve worked too hard to get this exact moment to where it is.

    He’s totally exposed, vunerable, and can’t move.

    COMMENCE THE TICKLE TORTURE!!!


  • …part of me wants to know the middle name. Part of me wonders if that might be doxxing him at that point.

    Because middle names are weird, but with a name like Gaylord, he doesn’t have much to risk.

    He might be like “Call me Olive!”

    And it’s somehow better than being Gaylord in the 80s/90s.

    I think I’d just create a persona. Thats what a kid at my school did. His name was Adam, but he was like “Call me, The Jew!”

    Not “Jew”, not “The Jew Kid” he specifically called himself “The Jew”. Pro wrestling was popular, and it was like how there was “The Rock”. Except he was “The Jew”.

    Then one kid thought it would be funny to come in with a red armband with swastika on it. He asked The Jew if he thought it was funny. And The Jew said no…with his fist. Over and over and over and over. Usually school fights had an honor to them. Kid falls down, you won the fight. You walk away. Anyone tried contining the fight on a downed opponent, and the whole crowd would step in. They’d end the fight for you, and it wouldn’t be good for you.

    That didn’t happen here. This kid went down, and The Jew just kept punching him. Over and over and over. For what seemed like forever. Nobody stepped in. Usually during fights, the crowd was rowdy. It was exciting. This was dead silent.

    In normal times, The Jew was the most chill laid back easy to get along with guy. It’s 20+ years since I saw him last, and I still remember him and refer to him as that. By his request. So you can kind of get an idea of how he didn’t let things get to him. No ego. Just a good kid really.

    When he saw that swastika, he just went off. And everybody had the same silent collective thought. Not to step in, and when teachers get here, we all stand behind The Jew. And we all did. Literally 30 kids all got detention for a month, because not one of us ratted out who beat the fuck out of gary. Eventually the teachers pieced together what happened, when gary came out of the hospital and was able to talk again. We still had to serve detention. Even after they “knew”, we still didn’t talk.

    And now, I’ve gotten so sidetracked that I don’t even remember the point of this story. Other than to say fuck nazis. Fuck gary. And fuck anyone who owns a swastika armband. Gary had it coming.