I think that’s a little ableist and a lot reductionist, ignoring the people creating these ideas and institutions and enforcing them (including by historically and still in different forms today actually institutionalising people that speak against them), because they didn’t come out of thin air, and the money and power those people have definitely isn’t imaginary.

Don’t blame people grasping at straws for comfort in this shitty shitty world, blame those manipulating and exploiting them for profit and power.

You should give “Praying for Armageddon” a watch.

The TL;DW is that evangelical Christians are outspoken supporters of war in Israel, because they believe it will bring forth the second coming of Jesus.

A baby can die in utero as a result of neglect and they’d say it was God’s will

and then prosecute the person whose uterus it was for “terminating” the pregnancy (even if we remove the neglect factor, also much of “neglect” is just poverty and lack of community and social support, which they promote under the guise of “nuclear family”), and the doctors involved for delivering the dead foetus, and maybe even give someone a hefty reward for reporting them.

Bribes aren’t exactly a thing in Switzerland. I’m not saying there isn’t corruption but it’s not common.

Ba ha hahahaha… Thanks, I needed a good laugh…

Having you, a random citizen think there are no bribes and little corruption (I can’t even type it without laughing) doesn’t mean there aren’t any.

Switzerland, the country that claims “neutrality” but acts as the world’s best known financial, and physical, haven for not only the “anonymous” filthy rich like this family (who still have more influence on society as a whole than you can imagine), but actual dictators and war criminals, past and present, too IS corruption, in its entire essence. Its economical and political existence relies heavily on some of if not the dirtiest and most ill gotten money on the planet (the least dirty of which comes from wage theft on a global scale). Being discreet and polite about bribes and corruption is why. Maintaining favour with the evil people whose assets they protect will always be prioritised over anything else, including their local population (who are generally happy to look the other way as long as the dirty money keeps them in a relatively high standard of living, which is why they are kept in a relatively high standard of living), never mind the poor and or enslaved people overseas who are the ones actually paying the price.

That said they have to pay nearly a million dollars to the victims.

That IS a bribe, they’re literally throwing pocket change at the problem to make it go away. Going on their net worth of $70.8b, if they spent a whole million dollars a day, they wouldn’t notice it missing for nearly 200 years. And I say again - 4 of those years are categorically not going to be spent in prison, because they are never going to serve their entire sentence (and whatever part they might serve will undoubtedly be in greater comfort than they ever provided to those they enslave, and I deliberately use present tense because this isn’t going to stop them), which was already a corrupt and pathetic slap on the wrist to begin with.

This isn’t how you stop the filthy rich from enslaving people, this is how you put on a show for the poors to pretend to care while you continue to enable the exploiters and oppressors, because your government and economy depend on it (and because all of those “corruption scores” you see out there are based on perception, not fact).

And you’re buying the act.

Ok, I’ve had a proper read through now, I’ll admit there is a lot to process, but this a lot of sense (and some bits I was already doing without even realising, like trying to get space away from triggers).

I think my situation is tricky because the main person triggering me is my nibling, whose family I live with (I’ve been here since they were born and I’m often left to care for them during the day. Cuddling and playing and just spending hours on the couch watching cartoons with them used to be my escape, but for the past couple of months external stress has gotten worse, and after they “pushed me” on a really bad day and that brain switch has flipped, every time they want to be around me I feel like they’re “pushing me” and fight/flight which is the constant state of my autistic brain anyway, ramps up even more), so I can’t get away from them for any decent length of time, and they’re just a kid and it’s difficult to explain my growing boundaries (every time one gets crossed, by “hostile” or “friendly”, rationally I can tell the difference but irrationally they both have the same impact - a stricter boundary can’t help but pop up in its place, in self defence) and why I need them to stay away from me (or, if they keep “pushing”, why I’m suddenly horrible to them even though they don’t deserve it).

I don’t want to push them away, I rationally know they mean no harm and just want to give and be given love, but I also just need my boundaries respected.

The one thing I have avoided doing is reminiscing about good times because it makes me too upset that I’ve gone from that to this and I spiral in to a really dark place, but I do see how it might help, so I’m going to try my best to try it. I think some of the other advice is a little tricky for someone with sensory processing difficulties though).

Anyway, I won’t ramble any longer, thank you again, I’ve not actually talked about this to anyone else, and I feel like this exchange is a good first step to at least try and fix things.

I do wish I could find a descent therapist though… -_-

Wow, I wasn’t really expecting a reply, never mind something this through!

It’s past 2am here, so my brain can’t take it all in right now, so I’ll give it a proper read tomorrow when I can better process it and reply accordingly, but I just wanted to say I really appreciate your effort, thank you!

the behavioral pathway will flip and the calming trigger will start causing anxiety instead because that’s when you’re doing it most

You might have no idea, but since you bring it up I might as well ask - any way of reversing this once it’s happened? Recently my stress levels have been so heightened that that switch has flipped on some of the things (and people) that gave me most comfort and instead now they just cause me rage, and I’m struggling to find a way back (am autistic too which I understand can make this even harder)…

While them getting a jail sentence is good, the term is a joke, especially since they’re not likely to actually serve it all or even any of it (house arrest, time served, “good behaviour”, bribes, they aren’t short of ways nor money to get around it), and are probably the most likely to re-offend out of anyone who has ever stepped foot in a jail…

I would be much more excited if they were made to pay their earnings for the duration that they kept slaves, to the people they enslaved (never mind all the other people they have and continue to exploit to get to be the richest people), and were then kept under constant supervision to make sure they don’t start doing it again as soon as they possibly can. (I am well aware this will unfortunately never happen)

Assuming you’re saying that you’re a woman who enjoys sex with men (not the only option of course, but probably the only one “milder” in the eyes of a bigot than homosexuals), answering yes to all of those still makes you an enemy of the patriarchy:

you shouldn’t love men - you should be subservient to them, you shouldn’t enjoy hobbies - you should be constantly pregnant and carrying at least one more child on your hip while making sure the house is tidy and your husband is fed, you shouldn’t enjoy sex - especially not the kind that isn’t for making babies, they save that for the “whore” (in their eyes) that they cheat on their wife with.

So not as scary to them as a potential cock up the arse (because they truly believe the gays are after their dirty buttholes), but really just about as threatening to their “traditional” way of life as homosexuals are… I’d wear it as a badge of honour lol

I’d say “dirt” is close enough to the reality…

Yeah, thanks, I couldn’t quite see what was under the other handwriting, but now that you mention it it’s obvious, as is the swastika next to it. There’s also some words above and bellow the sketch that I couldn’t make out…

Those, and I can also make out:

• They tried scratching out “anarchist” in the title and replace it with “homosexual”
• “Do you love men?”
• “Do you have feminine hobbies?”
• “Do you love dick in your ass and mouth?”
• a badly drawn hitler in the left margine

So yeah, definitely nazi alert

At the end of the day therapists are just people, and some of them are really terrible (as therapists and or people), also therapy in itself can be outdated and ill-equipped to deal with many issues they as professionals don’t yet understand and or we as a society brush under the rug. Which is one more reason why I think it’s important to recognise that it’s much more complicated than “just don’t do it, I don’t”, otherwise there will never be enough understanding of the influencing factors to enable actual, effective help to become more available (E: my concern isn’t with coddling the paedophiles, but with reducing their numbers to protect as many kids as possible).

Your reply implies that because you struggle with anxiety (as do I, it is not comparable to paedophilia) but are still able to avoid harming others, and are able to reach out for help, that there is no reason why paedophiles can’t just do the same (so basically making the same claim OP on this thread made - if I can do it they should be able to do it too), ignoring that disclosing and getting help for anxiety and disclosing and getting help for paedophilia are two very different ball games for many different reasons, a few of which you even pointed out with your asterisk at the end. So you can clearly understand, to a point anyway, that some people may not have as good an access as you have, but it isn’t only due to money or location, but also lack of professionals willing to, or who are even educated in helping paedophiles, and that some people simply have a more serious condition than you do. So again, and hopefully for the last time - Are you a paedophile? No? Then that’s why you find it easier.

Your reply also implies that I have sympathy for paedophiles and or that I don’t think they should be held responsible for their actions, or that I’m “letting off the hook”, which I’ve already made clear isn’t the case.

🙄

And just to reiterate, this isn’t a defence, and those who do harm others should absolutely suffer the consequences, but you’re never going to stop that kind of harm from happening again and again if you pretend the problem that causes it doesn’t exist.

And to add: acknowledging the source/s of a problem ≠ sympathising with someone who has it.

True, sadly it’s only one of so many contributing/possible factors, and that’s the point - we can only ever try to tackle the problem if we look at the whole (admittedly very large and gruesome) picture, not just the focused anger at the individual that we feel when we first hear such things happen. Which is justified, don’t get me wrong, but punishing one paedophile won’t stop other paedophiles - if it was going to it would have already. Only addressing all of the factors that lead to them feeling the way they do (personally within themselves but also societally, as you point out), so that suitable places for them to turn to for help and treatment can exist, will.

I’ve made it through my entire adulthood without molesting any children…. WITHOUT EVEN TRYING. It’s real easy, the only thing you have to do is not fuck any kids

This is what I am replying to.

None of what you said contradicts anything I’ve said, the only somewhat relevant point you touched on is

it is also the responsibility of pedophiles to not put themselves in positions where they have access to children. They might not be able to help their urges, but they can choose not to work around children or share a home with children.

Which only brings me back to my original reply - are you a paedophile? No? Then that’s why you think it’s that easy.

and

to try and compare how easy it is for you not to do, to how easy it should be for those who have urges you and I can’t even imagine not to do, isn’t really productive - it completely ignores the core of the issue - for some people it isn’t that easy, and they need serious help, before they cause harm, not for their struggles to be brushed off as something that isn’t real because the rest of us don’t experience it.

Are you a paedophile? No? Then that’s why you find it easy.

Not defending this guy or anyone who harms kids, but to try and compare how easy it is for you not to do, to how easy it should be for those who have urges you and I can’t even imagine not to do, isn’t really productive - it completely ignores the core of the issue - for some people it isn’t that easy, and they need serious help, before they cause harm, not for their struggles to be brushed off as something that isn’t real because the rest of us don’t experience it.

And just to reiterate, this isn’t a defence, and those who do harm others should absolutely suffer the consequences, but you’re never going to stop that kind of harm from happening again and again if you pretend the problem that causes it doesn’t exist.

I don’t know if anything like this exists near you, but I’ve heard of community centres/churches that organise something like a skills library/drop in, where people who have skills they can use to help others - people who can mend/fix/repair/adjust things (electronics, woodwork, clothing, cooking, software) and or also teach the basics to others so they can do more themselves, volunteer for a few hours a week and do just that for the community.

I found this example (E: their FAQ) of a London “Repair café” where they do this kind of thing to give you an idea, and if there is nothing like that that exists near you, it would be a great project to try and start with your local community!

Imagine being so privileged and out of touch that you think going to the same school makes your experience there identical to everyone else’s, as if it is the only influence (it isn’t, that’s why I listed others which you have conveniently ignored) or that they outright teach fascism and you were spared, instead of what they really do which is teach white-washed history and civics, and discourage critical thinking, which has clearly worked perfectly well on you too. Never mind acting as if socioeconomics, religion, ability, race, gender, and so on, and the biases against them that exist in the educational system (and society at large), or the pipelines that rely on those biases and designed (by those in power who need the support) to pick up on those who are most susceptible to it and send them directly in to white supremacy, don’t exist and aren’t fundamental to shaping a person’s experience, understanding of the world and even ability to understand the world (despite there being ample evidence of all of this happening, you just have to be willing to look, and no, I’m not wasting my time doing your research for you because I don’t think you really want to know).

Guess what? Your experience isn’t universal and being less susceptible to one kind of propaganda doesn’t mean you aren’t susceptible to others, or more aware than they are that you too have been manipulated - you’re literally doing the manipulators dirty work for them by blaming their victims instead of them. and the systems they maintain to manipulate and oppress the rest of society for their own gain (I wonder where you learned to do that… 🤔).

As for your ending this discussion - if you actually knew anything about the Nazis, you’d know just how crucial a part propaganda and manipulation played in making them popular enough to gain power. Acting as if Nazis and other bigots are “just born that way” and that you’re simply better than them, is almost as dangerous as they are, and will never lead to any change (which is fine by you, because just like them, you’d rather have someone to punch down at, than aim your anger at those actually responsible and punch up).

TL;DR:

(E: actually, it isn’t quite you, since as we established, you clearly have been influenced by propaganda, just like every other person on the planet because you’re not special, and you certainly do lack those critical thinking skills)

Edit again because I know some people are dedicated to misunderstand things that make them uncomfortable - none of this is a defence of bigots, you’re just never going to address, never mind end bigotry if you insist on ignoring its source, like anyone who blames individuals for systemic issues is doing.