Thank you for apologizing.

When I was visibly homeless, I was invited by a Navajo man to visit his place on the Navajo reservation. There have been beings dependent on me staying where I am for survival - and moreso there’s basically guaranteed to be a mass-killing if I leave. Otherwise, it’s also been the case that there hasn’t been a place to sleep that isn’t against the rules, and this is being enforced by violence. As of now, the only option for me to sleep & survive is to try migrating elsewhere - to the Navajo reservation, though wandering to Buddhist monasteries/etc. along the way & maybe after. Having police in family - and based on past experience - I would continue expecting unwanted monitoring & unwanted intervention by police and likely family too, even if I’m in the Navajo reservation.

Leaving also doesn’t get to the root of the issue, which is cultural & quite widespread. I don’t see conditions for a civil, genuine, open discussion on sexual conduct. I think racial delusion, hatred, & arrogance is a blocking issue here.

I’m still gaslight, verbally abused, censored, & assaulted for having been sexually molested. Being gaslight, verbally abused, & censored, assaulted is very common for me. Police permit & contribute to it too.

Deliberate violence is used to prevent me from sleeping on a regular basis recently.

The thought hence occurred I could request for a commitment on 50% of the laptop from within family, which would be sufficient to avoid leaving today; this way, e.g. the living space qua animal refuge might be preserved. This request was agreed to, so I’m postponing both the walking/wandering tour & the close-reading.

One example is, the “cookies” on the table are the French dessert ‘dacquoise’, which juxtaposes the color turquoise.

I was assaulted again twice more just now, hit in the head both times. Also, food was thrown out again that I had prepared.

Update - one more assault.

There’s exactly two known cases of possible exposure, both over two years ago. The first was when handcuffs were applied too tightly, and it caused bleeding and got infected; the second was getting poked by a needle when trying to clear out an area to sleep in nature. I took a test around two years ago, then one last week. My personal experience is that wildlife is more civil & rational than industrialized civilization.

The assaulter spit in the food while I was cooking, and is standing behind me again speaking angrily at me. A couple of days ago, he also threw food out the door I was cooking.

The assaulter nonconsensually goes through my laptop and looks through private conversations.

I was assaulted several times this morning, including without clothes on, preventing me from putting clothes on for several minutes.

I was assaulted again several times today, including struck in the head with a metal pot & punched in the back of the head.

I’m being targeted with genocide. They want to change me in a way that isn’t possible, and are getting angry. They aren’t able to kill me though, and are using remaining control in pathetic attempts at harm. I’m here to make things better.

This also relates to presenting Buddhist views to a Christian-majority culture - alternatively, God-majority culture, or God/Atheist culture. There are those who don’t believe a male-homosexual prophet is tolerable or possible.

The level of muscle-tendon tension has been very high the past several years. Dumb ergonomics & poverty workarounds. I go through periods like this.

I need a Linux laptop replaced and bike repaired. Also living with someone who isn’t able to refrain from rage : (.

Thank you to album Amnesiac by Radiohead.

Generosity can be like treading water, any sea color.

Thank you.

If I leave now, I would expect animals living & taking refuge here to be killed. So, this is crucial in addition to avoiding human violence.

Pardon, the context for me is too forced currently to respond to this.

I’m willing to attempt to migrate elsewhere and refraining to speak here. I need to currently though, because I don’t know anywhere that tolerates me speaking. My understanding is that people are struggling to refrain from killing me, and I’m told this many times. May I have public permission to migrating elsewhere?

I’m begging for loving-kindness (metta).

There’s plenty of information & methods available that can be tested or scrutinized. If they fail or are contradictory, that can be disconfirming.