A flower would also be acceptable.

That’s not what your mom said.

This must be that non-consensual himdie I keep hearing about.

Contact the Electronic Frontier Foundation (EFF) and they can probably help point him to a group interested.

That’s ridiculous, that would lead to mass unemployment in the funeral industry.

Small typo, it’s “half of a Chihuahua.”

For the military, think about Amazon. They can get you a new dildo tomorrow because they have a huge infrastructure of warehouses around the country. The US has a world network of “supplies” for war that will be reduced and create more risk and a time delay if US interests are threatened. In practical terms, you don’t punch an American because America can punch you back tomorrow. If the US maybe can punch you back next week, you’re less concerned with ignoring their interests.

Practically, the local economies will hurt badly, like the Philippines after they reduced the US navel presence. There is also a “living next to a cop” effect that has had more value in the past, but has soured like the idea of living next to a cop.

For the US, we would now need to house all these troops locally, and would end up greatly reducing force size over 20 years. A big pile of active tanks training in Germany doesn’t get much news, but a bunch of expensive tanks training next to a huge line at a soup kitchen is a great photo op.

Laser-guided bath bombs.

I was roommates with Dr. Funk.

If you are and you admit it, you’ll get more grace from intelligent people. Sometimes.

Can anyone read this comment? It won’t load for me.

I once was taking a nice old man to the hospital, when he stopped breathing. I gave him a second and tried to rouse him, and he was pretty stubborn about it, but he still had a weak pulse. I called to my partner.

“Hey, how close are we to the hospital?”

“About 5 minutes, why?”

“Well, he’s not breathing. So if you hit any traffic, hit the lights, will you?”

I bagged him for about 3-4 minutes. Traffic was light, and we were making pretty good time, so we decided not to freak anybody out. The guy came to, and looked confused.

“What happened,” he asked.

“You stopped breathing, so I was breathing for you.”

“Oh. Thank you.”

“You are very welcome.”

He’s still the only person who ever said thank you when I tried to save their life.

I’m just one, simple man with his crystal ball and a knife with virgin blood on it.

Roberts should just accept that his court is one of the three pillars in the collapse of the US into a middle power in the next 25 years.

86.9% of all statistics are made up on the spot.

It’s that big so it can reach the 2 fuel pumps needed to fill up.

Some of the earlier stuff is more creative in my opinion.

😁

Atlanta is the Delta hub; I try to make the location relevant. Like the new drone article… there’s a drone base outside Sugarland. Shhhh, don’t tell. 🙂

Leo helps detangle bizarro satire from bizarro reality.