Chicken and bean soup: 3 cans of Great Northern Beans (or any white bean) rinsed, 2 12 ounce cans of chicken breast (or a 1lbs of uncooked chicken breast that you cook and shred,) 2 carrots diced, 2 celeries diced, 1 yellow onion diced, 2-3 cloves of garlic, 1 tablespoon smoked parika, 1 tsp thyme, 1 tsp rosemary, 1 tablespoon bay leaf, salt and pepper to taste.

Fry the diced onions in olive oil to soften them up, add the carrots and celery. While they simmer for a bit to soften up open and rinse the beans. Rinse them good till the water runs clean this will help with reducing bean farts. Toss those beans in a crock pot set on low. Open the cans of chicken and drain and toss them in. Add a bit of water to the mix. Then throw in your veggies. Stir. Add your seasoning. Taste. You’ll probably add a good amount of salt till it’s yummy tasting. You can also add a bit more of the spices if you’d like. Cook in the crock pot for a few hours.

This is a cheap (like $10) meal that will provide something like 6-9 servings of breakfast soup. Super easy to make.

Good time slot. Decent writing. Good on screen talent (for the most part) surrounding Seinfeld which often helped to fill out the stories. Think of all the guest appearances over the years, lots of quality actors who all grew into their characters.

And its all about the kids bar mitzvah, which in reality does sometimes involve hiring a woman to bang the 13 year old kid to make him a man. What’s more disturbing is in some cases people allegedly use girls (below the age of consent) to do this.

Give it the old Jerry Seinfeld second try, remember you’re never too old to date a 17 year old!

I’ve seen people keep the wall mounted ones up even after they were no longer usable (these used “pulse” which was phased out around 2000 for “tone” which had been around for a while prior to that but for a decade or so you could chose to keep pulse.)

Yeah she was fun. Shame she didn’t do more stuff. I’d probably blow up my time machine and live with her instead of going back too.

That and the machine itself are the real star of the film. I came across some behind the scenes of the build years ago and it was impressive. The wood deck is all steel painted to look like wood. Since the spinning bits weighed a ton, acrylic and brass, they had to have it be secure. Even the geared computer (forget what it’s called… a baggage computer?) worked. Really impressive prop that doesn’t get enough love. Makes the Pal time machine look like a joke.

Don’t you know you’re suppose to wait till your 35 to date a 17 year old

The core problem is the source material is also boring. Aside from the motivation issues and the fact Wells never even bothers to name the Time Traveller, the whole plot is a bit slow. Sure, the morlocks eating people is creepy but it never manages to get to the horror level like how Jurassic Park or Jaws was able to achieve. You never really felt like they were going to sneak up behind you and slash you or tear you limb from limb.

The changes they made to the story helped: named the character, moved him to New York instead of London, gave him a deep motivation, even the morlocks had a more organized system that was more believable (hunted the Eloi and were controlled telepathically by Jeremy Irons.)

Maybe having more Irons in it would’ve helped but with the plot elements they had to work with it would’ve been tricky. The good thing is they didn’t drag it out, 90 minutes is the proper length. Nowadays they’d try to make it 2 1/2 and it’d be bogged down.

(2002) Time Machine with Guy Pierce and Jeremy Irons

Wasn’t a big hit when it came out and it’ll never be as iconic as the George Pal Time Machine from the 60’s. But the 2003 adaptation has the coolest looking time machine to come around in a while (at the time it was the most expensive prop ever built, might still be but I’m not sure.)

Critics shit on it for not having the cataclysmic event that destroys humanity be global warming. While I’m all for talking about global warming I can kind of understand why they didn’t use that and why they didn’t reuse the 60’s disaster of nuclear war.

But to be fair to the writers their choice to destroying humanity was original, kind of a tongue-in-cheek joke about the elderly crisis we’re currently entering into and the plan is in fact an idea that has been discussed before.

Aside from that the film is pretty solid. In the book by HG Wells and the 60’s film the Time Traveller (doesn’t even have a name) has zero motivation aside from achieving a new scientific advancement. Thats cool and all but modern audiences, having had several successful time travel stories since Wells time, do need a better eureka moment than that. The 2002 film provides a good and believable motivation.

The film also features a believable super-distant future where the human species splits, just like in the original stories. Samantha Mumba is a member of the tribe of humans that live above ground and are technologically ignorant, thought not exactly like the child-like race we see in the 60’s version. They do maintain that there are no old people and why that is.

Samantha Mumba did a great job in her role and while I don’t normally discuss a persons race the fact her father was Zambian and her mother Irish did kind of lean into what a future race of people could look like. She has a distinct look which played to the role.

Orlando Jones makes a couple appearances as a sort of AI librarian. It’s nice to see him in the odd movie role.

Jeremy Irons is the head morlock, the race of humans that stayed underground, and doesn’t disappoint, although his character is more of a cameo.

The film also had a good soundtrack and special effects that features the classic “years passing in seconds” stuff that was iconic from the 60’s film.

But ultimately the film is mostly forgotten to audiences.

Cue incidental music

Bop bop pow pow

Cut to commercial break

Nyet comrade, we have exactly as much humor as our dear leader has ordered us to have.

Putins stupid war accomplishes something positive for a change. He deserves a crown.

Give Putin a crown for exposing that its nothing but Russian bots

Monkey Putin deserves a crown for solving the Russian bot problem

So many members have contacted me to warn that LocalAreaMan is in fact a Russian shill.

Are you mad that your internet got disrupted this week?

So you feel like Vladimir Putin? The stupidest “man” in the history of the world.

Nevermind that it’s punishment this is used for and not rehabilitation.

Lots of time work programs for prisoners are used for rehabilitation.