I remember writing a comment about invasive advertising by Instagram. Just shared some anecdotes about how a few extremely specific conversation topics soon became the topic for the ads I was seeing on Instagram, and pointed out that if they were in fact using background conversation to target ads, it would be extremely easy to automate with the voice recognition technology available at the time, so why would they ignore the opportunity if targeted ads are their main source of revenue?

It became one of my most down voted comments at the time, and I had about twice as many replies as downvotes, claiming all kinds of wild or easily disproven shit to disprove the idea that Instagram used such tactics. Was very fishy

Ah, so individuals who disagree with the actions of their home country so much that they leave their entire lives behind to find a new home with a governing body they can feel good about supporting with their taxes are the ones to blame for the idiotic behavior of their bought-and-paid-for government representatives?

Being born somewhere doesn’t define a person. Not a single person on this planet has control over where they come from, but we do have control over where we go next. Pointing fingers at people who leave the countries they don’t want to be a part of and telling them “nobody likes you” without a shred of knowledge about who they are beyond something as inconsequential as the place they happened to be born… It’s xenophobic, prejudiced, ignorant behavior, simple as that. And you should work on that.

I bet you’d find that you have a lot more in common with people who uproot their whole lives to separate themselves from their home country than you think, if you talked to some. Most people will at the very least admit openly “yeah, my home country just needs to get it’s shit together”. Some go as far as renouncing citizenship of their home country after becoming a nationalised citizen in their new home, myself included.

Most immigrants also don’t like the actions of their home countries’ governments, maybe even its population in general. In fact, it’s probably the biggest reason they moved away in the first place. So if they aren’t taking those ideals with them when they immigrate, what’s there to be bitter about?

It can be hard to communicate tone over text, and I’m running on very little sleep because of exams so I might not be doing the best job of that right now… So I just want to make sure it’s clear that it’s not my intention to attack or insult you here, and I’m sorry if my message reads like that. I just think you have a viewpoint that is flawed, and I want to outline the flaws I see in a way that might get you to look at things differently and consider things from a different perspective.

Excuse my assumption, I’m just very familiar with the defensive patriotism-fuelled reactionary insults from Americans when they learn I live in Norway. I’ve never met anyone from Europe who had a similarly negative reaction to that, because why would they?

So I guess I’m a bit confused and a little curious as to what made you so sour for seemingly no reason. Care to fill me in?

And here I was thinking you were being a bit tongue in cheek. Don’t be so offended that I left the US to live a better life, snowflake. Be glad I’m gone instead.

Haha we might not get as much nice weather and sun around here as someplace like San Diego, but man, when the weather is as nice as it has been these past few days, we make sure we enjoy the hell out if it. Plus, this time of year we get more daylight hours than most of the world. It’s truly spectacular walking outside at 3am this time of year, when the streetlights don’t even need to turn on for a couple of months straight.

On the flip side, the winter months are dark and cloudy, with only around 4 hours of daylight for the weeks around the equinox, a few minutes of actual sun if you’re lucky and the clouds clear out temporarily. But if you ask me, the glorious summertime sun more than makes up for that.

Plus, when I’m leaving the bar with my friends after last call and one of us faceplants on the concrete, it’s comforting to know that calling an ambulance won’t bury anyone in debt 😁😂

I can only imagine the feeling of having such a weight lifted off your shoulders and conscience. It must feel almost like a fresh start, because in a way it is. Or at least that’s how it sounds to me, being able to progress in a meaningful way without such major hindrances.

I’m glad to hear you got to see such a favourable outcome after such a long and turbulent period, and I’m genuinely happy for you and your church, that you get to make progress in making your community better for everyone. It sounds like you all have the best of things to look forward to already, but I wish you all the best anyway.

Good news has been a bit hard to come by lately, so it’s extraordinarily refreshing to hear some for a change. So cheers, and thanks again for sharing.

If moving to a civilized country is a potential option for you, it could pay off looking into your genealogy.

I grew up in the US and moved to Norway after feeling like the country was nose-diving politically. I remember feeling serious shame for paying taxes to fund such horrendous actions, an unwavering sense of hopelessness, and even serious depression. I remember the first time I realised how much I felt like a foreigner in my own home country, and the existential dread those words brought with them, amplified by the fact that I felt like there was nothing in my power I could do to change that. It was so far beyond awful. I’m struggling to find the words that can accurately convey how bleak and worthless life in the US felt.

And I say this as a cis white man. I’ve heard horror stories, but I can’t possibly imagine what it must be like for trans people in the US, especially in the past several years.

At some point I learned that because my grandmother was born in a certain EU country and fled during WWII, I qualified for citizenship of that country, just by proving my relation to her. It took some time, but I got the documents in order to put together my application, and left everything behind to move to Norway. With EU citizenship, you could move almost anywhere in Europe you choose. I chose Norway for many many reasons, but scandinavia in general is just so incredibly politically refreshing. Regardless of political views, the system itself just… Works.

Since you have 20+ years experience in your field, you might not even need to go though the process of getting a citizenship you may or may not qualify for as a birthright, depending on your profession. Many countries also have immigration laws in place making it extremely easy for skilled workers to relocate there, permanently. I know in Norway, the company hiring the skilled worker can essentially vouch for skilled workers, granting them the right of residency as soon as they’re hired. And there are many companies which post job listings in English, without requiring you to know the local language, because… Well, damn near everybody here is completely fluent in English and has no issue speaking English, or even switching to English for entire groups of people, even if only one person struggles with Norwegian.

But anyway, I’m sorry you’re forced to feel the way you feel living in your own home country. I can relate to parts of it at least, and even the sum of those parts was unbearable for me. So it saddens me to read messages like yours. I just wanted to offer a suggestion that worked to stop these feelings for me, and ended up being the best damn decision I’ve ever made in my life.

If you have questions or anything, feel free to send me a message.

Wow. Yeah that sounds like a rough ride, I’m sorry you and so many others were dragged through the coals like that for so long. It sounds like things were at a point where a split like that was probably necessary unfortunately, maybe even entirely unavoidable from the sound of it.

Thanks for sharing your experience, and congratulations on a more unified (and moral) stance on these issues. I hope your church can finally and more easily move forward without the weight of the interference, pressure, and influence these fringe actors had been exercising in the past several years.

Good on you. It’s always refreshing to hear from Christian folks who have a strong enough moral compass to steer away from (let alone actively support direct opponents of) some of the more zealous or bigoted views which unfortunately seem to be growing stronger in the Christian community as of late.

I say this from the outside looking in, as I’ve never been associated with any church myself, so this viewpoint of mine may just be the result of an increasingly active vocal minority.

But I’m very curious to hear your experience as someone within the community; have you yourself seen growth in these types of zealous or bigoted views in the past several years within the Christian Community? Things like stronger, more vocal, or even unwavering support of anti-abortion or anti-LGBTQ laws/practices?

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I could see a Wikipedia-style donation model working to keep lots of different servers up. But I can’t see it happening for servers hosting exclusively news + memes + whatever random communities people want to add.

I _could _ see it happening for dedicated broad-topic or semi-niche instances (instances for gaming, investing, Linux, music production, etc.) each hosting a collection of related and maybe more niche communities (for CSGO, Bitcoin, Arch, EDM production).

As they become more popular, server hosting costs increase, and at some point they might need to ask for donations to keep afloat. People are willing to throw a little money towards something they enjoy, especially if it’s their choice to do so. And they feel good about it. And instances that stay around longer gain more users, more usability, more credibility (assuming a non-toxic community).

I could definitely see it leading down a path of growth and prosperity for the platform. However, now that I typed this out, I could see it both working positively, and being abused and exploited, so 🤷

I can practically guarantee that people who say they hate tea haven’t tried brewing any kind of loose leaf tea at the proper temp and time.

I got a 1kg brick of the cheapest loose-leaf black tea I could find for ~$3.50, and it’s delicious. I drink it almost every day, I bought it in June last year, and I’m just now running low. I brewed a bag lipton black tea at work recently, took one sip and I dumped it the fuck out. Absolutely foul, that stuff.

So I can see why people hate tea if they’ve only ever tried cheap bags with boiling water

I’m not sure, I just see a blank comment box with 1 point and no username asking for a favor

Strange, I can’t see your comment. Maybe something is wrong with your account?

It’s unfortunate how often it is that the best solution is to combine the powers of 2 sites that have been (not so) recently dipping their toes into the “detestable corporations” side of things.

I share the same sentiment, but the problem is finding a better “elsewhere”.

Google search used to be so far beyond the capabilities of all other search engines, but lately it’s been closing that gap from the top down. Even in its enshittified state, it still outperforms the other search engines out there more consistently, albeit just barely.

That’s my experience anyway, I would love to be introduced to something better if anyone happens to have suggestions!

Here’s the fun part: you only get that if you work somewhere that obeys labor laws! Many (most?) restaurants pretend like they don’t exist at all. I’ve worked at a place that would occasionally (3 times in the year and a half I worked there) fire a chef just after the pay-cycle without saying a word, so the chef works the next 2 weeks up until payday, asks “where’s my paycheck” and the boss says “you don’t get one you were fired last week”.

On a chef’s salary, that has potential to put them and their family on the streets.

Edit: Sorry about this comment, it’s pretty useless, I just had time to kill waiting for my next flight. Reads like a fictional dystopian exaggeration, but it was my reality and continues to be reality for many others, unfortunately. TL;DR - anecdotes outlining how US working conditions can be brutally unforgiving, especially in the restaurant industry.

There’s 3 days sick leave in the US? When I was still living there, I got my 2nd write-up (3rd = termination) for not coming to work because I needed to go to the ER for an overdose. Side note: caffeine powder is way cheaper than coffee, but if you’re too broke to afford coffee, you’re too broke to afford a milligram scale reliable and accurate enough to prevent accidental overdose.

After breaking my 30+ day streak of 12-15 hour shifts (about 90-100 hours per week, was normally only 85 or so), I came back to work the next day with a doctor’s note, and my boss said “I don’t think you’re lying to me…” followed by 10 very long seconds of suspicious squinting and staring me down, “… But yesterday was Saturday, so I’m going to need to write you up”. You see, it was explicitly forbidden to call in sick on a Friday, Saturday, or Sunday.

Don’t let your loved ones work in restaurants, ESPECIALLY in the kitchen. I unfortunately couldn’t quit because I had no days off to apply for other jobs, and missing out on even one day of pay was the difference between covering bills AND food, or having to steal food to avoid homelessness. I legitimately considered choosing to be homeless temporarily as a way out, because I pretty much lived at work anyway, I only ever slept at the apartment. Granted, my situation was particularly bad because they were actually stealing 50% of my earned wages (~$8300 over 10 months, which I eventually got back after threats of litigation).

Lots of people still think that introverts hate social interactions, or feel better without any social interactions at all, but we do need to be social. Some people get dogs or cats and that helps them a lot. But lots of introverted people will tend to find some way to mask the loneliness by distracting themselves that requires a lot of attention, or occupying themselves with something that emulates social interaction. Playing a game while watching twitch streams of that game can fill both of those roles, listening to the streamer and reading chat periodically. That can work in a pinch, but it’s not a real solution. And I don’t have a real solution, aside from “find your balance”, but I know that’s not helpful.

I can suggest something that I found to be a more effective distraction, though. And it even could lead to the first steps to a solution to introvert loneliness if you’re lucky. You can try going to a local bar/pub on a slow day. It helps if you drink alcohol, but you really don’t have to. And of course if there’s a history of alcoholism in your family, you should definitely avoid the alcohol. Make sure to sit at the bar, because a lot of bartenders will start up conversation with lone patrons in their down-time, and the same goes for drunk people getting up to buy another drink, so you don’t have to initiate if you don’t want to. You can end up having a few interesting conversations in a night (or sometimes none at all), and go home either feeling good about going out on your own free will (I.E. Not being forced into a social situation), or exhausted from any overbearing social interactions and therefore a bit more content with going back to spending time by yourself for a while.

This helped me before I made a couple of friends (who I met at the pub) while living alone in a new city, after my distractions got stale. I say it’s worth a try, but everyone is different.

It was hard to initiate that first trip to the bar though, it felt very, very weird. But halfway through my second beer, I felt mostly content with even just listening passively to background conversation. By the time I ordered the 3rd, the bartender had initiated conversation, and before I knew it that feeling of loneliness was gone. It’s important to keep moderation in mind though, I could see that being very effective in catalysing a drinking problem. I did this 2-3 times per month, and that was just enough for me.

So ymmv, but it helped me a lot.

I’m absolutely not mocking you.

You’re basing some of your arguments on things you don’t seem to actually know, and using incorrect interpretations of my words as basis for some of your counter-points. I’ve noticed a pattern in people who formulate and present arguments/points similar to the way you do, and they tend to be difficult to hold civil discussions with, so I chose to end our discussion.

I’m sorry if that comes off as harsh or rude, but it’s my honest reason for ending our discussion. There’s truly no malice or mockery behind my words

Anyway, this is my last message to you. And since you seem to have read my previous message as a passive aggressive mockery, I really do genuinely hope you have a great holiday season.