Cope engaged: “Couldn’t have been talking about me, look at all these friends I have”

For anyone else wondering if it’s real: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hotwheels_sisyphus

The genus name is derived from Hot Wheels, an American brand of scale model cars. The long coiled embolus of the palpal bulb of this new genus reminded the authors of a looping Hot Wheels track. The species is named for Sisyphus, a king from Greek mythology, who is punished by the gods for cheating death. For this, the gods sentenced him to an eternity of rolling a boulder up a hill, only for it to roll back down. The cyclical nature of his punishment reminded the authors of the circular copulatory tube of the spider.

NFL
Lakers
Red Sox
hockey

I felt a great disturbance in the Force, as if millions of sports nerds suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced

In the physical sense, absolutely. But if they’re honest with themselves, their new form is much more fragile and fleeting, and will almost certainly end with them in a bin soon enough, whereas the football may at least have a chance to rejoin the desk and tell the others of its deeds.

I should not be awake this early contemplating the potential existential crises of paper airplanes.

And you put away the laundry when it was done right? Right?

Anakin+Padme_meme.jpg

I don’t think the pencils would be alone in that view. Erasers, markers, glue, staplers (though they can be refilled) would all come back with some small part of them having been depleted. Individual paperclips may never return, but they’re so numerous maybe they have like a hivemind.

I think the greatest honor would be the sheet of paper that gets transformed into a paper football. You have transcended your original purpose and form, chosen of the giant hands not for their labor, but for their leisure.

“It’s fine, everyone can tell what it’s supposed to be”

If we post about him enough maybe we can manifest a video on Tsushima’s rivers or unemployment rate

And then everyone clapped

The most environmentally friendly thing Tesla’s ever done

That’s when I started getting chunky and mostly never stopped, depression followed at 10/11, sleep went somewhere in the early teen years…

Finally someone recognizes the 5 major food groups correctly

A Psyfuck duckdoll

So maybe they’re just vomiting because they went to NJ

WTF, this is the internet, get that nuance bullshit right the fuck out of here!!!1!!

Am I the fox or the hare? Context matters.

Won’t, or can’t afford to?

My ideal summer body is replacing this rotting flesh husk with cold, hard machine precision. But that’s not really an option yet :(