103·
1 month agodeleted by creator
- 6 Posts
- 668 Comments
Joined 1 year ago
Cake day: September 1st, 2023
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Thanks for your kind words.
It’s… I can and am choosing not to kill myself. I can’t choose to not want to kill myself. I think it’s kind of inevitable though, it’ll only take one time of things being bad enough for me to not care about hurting those who care about me. More or less just trying to give myself as much time as possible and enjoy what I can while I can.
I don’t really have any hope for the future. It’s become incredibly clear to me over the past few months that while I can feel better sometimes, nothing actually improves. Things don’t improve unless you actively try to improve them, and having tried and failed spectacularly it’s apparent that I even if I kept trying, it would be ineffective, and I just can’t care enough to keep trying.
I really don’t want to keep living, but I choose to anyways, at least until things I get bad I can’t choose anymore. I won’t hurt my friends and family and I know how I see things and how I feel are different from the reality of my situation. Just eventually, those won’t be enough anymore.
I… actually did something similar a month ago. Just with a bag. Scary that it’s not as bad as I thought it would be, kind of removes one of the barriers discouraging it.
3·1 month agodeleted by creator
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Awww, got em wrong. They’re so adorable
1·1 month agoWhat an absolute sweetie
I want to guess–is Franky the orange one?
No, who the hell does enjoy media coverage about polls? Lmao
To the people who are already starting to type “I enjoy them!!!” comments, it is a rhetorical question to emphasize my distaste for them through the mechanism of expressing doubt that they have widespread appeal. I thoroughly understand that other people can enjoy things I don’t. Thanks.
Mood, fucking same.
242·1 month agoNot being functional enough to take care of a pet 👍
The fucking worst is when I tell someone that and they’re like “I’ll bet you’d rise to the occasion and it would fix you 😄” and like, fuck no. I tried, and all that resulted was a rehomed cat and a whole lot more self hatred and having to convince you that I suck as much as I do is making things so much worse.
3·1 month agoA friend of mine came over for D&D and I really girlmoded for the first time and it was so nice. She taught me about eye makeup! Got to be the person I want to be.
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