Any minute now…
Yeah. “They shouldn’t be above the law.” works better.
Just before the pandemic, I was at a restaurant. A couple was sitting next to me.
Woman: (Says something about Fiona)
Man: Who’s Fiona?
Woman: (Shocked, disgusted face) You don’t KNOW Fiona???
I bet she broke up with him on the spot.
Me at the grocery store yesterday: “These cookies look delicious! And they’re 90% off!”
Wife: “Those are lactation cookies…”
Me: “I didn’t know that was a thing… They still look good though…”
That, or you’d get crushed alive since the car wasn’t designed to actually protect you…
People like this drive me crazy.
Years ago, a family member (who was on my mobile phone family account) was getting charged monthly for some mobile game. I would point it out every month, and they were like “Yeah…I need to cancel that…”
It took over a year for them to get around to canceling it.
I know a medical coder that works exclusively with an ER. Oh the stories I’ve heard…
LaRosa’s Pizza for me!
I went to an all-boys Catholic highschool. I had a teacher that was a Christian Brother. One day he had an argument with a classmate over how effective condoms were. He basically argued that condoms don’t work. (Even arguing that a Ziploc bag couldn’t keep semen from escaping.)
This teacher was pretty popular because he was a character, who’d sometimes make crude jokes.
After graduating, some friends and a I ran into him at a mall. He asked us “What are you guys up to? Picking up little girls?”
We laughed it off thinking he was still his same old jovial self.
Not long after, I heard that this same teacher had been arrested for being involved with minors. His “joke” that day seemed like some major projection.
I was browsing news headlines. Me: “Why is Johnny Gaudreau trending…”
Reading out loud to my wife, I first read it as “Johnny Gaudreau’s brother died”. Reading it a second time, the utter dread sunk in.
What a way to find out.
Finding out that it was the day before their sister’s wedding…a tremendous tragedy.
He’ll be missed.
Sign language for I love you?
I recently started using an app called Hermit to address a similar problem. It lets you create “lite apps” from any URL. Maybe it’d work for you?
https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.chimbori.hermitcrab
This photo makes me legit nervous.
Women are so cute and beautiful but I think they are talking about getting their horse in a koozie
We have a 2012 Ford Fiesta that we call “Siesta”. That car sucks a good amount. Been meaning to get rid of it for years now.
Change the dog to me, and replace the leash with a lawn mower.
Awww…She looks just like you!