I’m imagining him in a hobby lobby, dollhouse accessories aisle…

Do they make cock cages that small?

No worries, we all deal with stress in our own ways.

When i had to take my dog to the emergency vet, I got on discord and posted about ten Star Trek memes in under five minutes. One of the guys asked if I was ok, that’s when i broke down and revealed the reason. I was basically looking for attention…

My parents taught me that asking for help meant you are a failure. Does Lemmy have a “raised by narcissists” sub yet?

Ok, my memory failed me, it was multiple balloons with a larger one on top. Here’s a review that features the actress i saw, not sure if they had to modify the balloon count for the Dallas show: https://munroreview.com/2018/09/22/review-cirque-du-soleils-corteo-is-nice-but-underwhelming/

When cirque came to Dallas a few years ago, it was a little person with one (big)* balloon! Most fun I’ve had at a show!

Edit: My memory failed me, but here’s a photo from one of the shows: Corteo

I thought sending your children into the fields was what made those farms work?

And I’m a bit of a diva. :)

If you listen to this post closely, you can actually hear the fellatio.

New product idea: helmets for dogs

“I can end it in a day”

Last time there was a tornader in Garland, lightning flashed and lit up the jade-green sky. My mother and brother stopped talking instantly, and we gathered the dogs in the Harry Potter room under the stairs.

'Nader didn’t hit us, but it was still a shock to see the sky a color I’ve only seen in jewelry, or the random Pantone®© sample.

This is the way to do it

I blocked my lg from the Wi-Fi after i got a “Kobe Bryant memorial” ad, while playing on my switch… TF?!

I hope there is at least one human that has to listen to the filthy, angry, Klingon profanities I scream, while jerking myself raw to hard core, ball draining, homoerotic, gay porn…

Fair, don’t even try playing on anything but normal speed :/

I’ll throw in Oxygen Not Included.

RIP Fireworks…

Macaroni and tuna, but you have to use the liquid cheese kind, not the powdered abortion.

Cool ranch Doritos and sour cream, saw this mentioned before and had to try it. Worth every penny.

I go by the shortened version of my name, because my full name was screamed at me so often, I can barely handle it when it’s used… That second syllable is like a gun shot, so one syllable it is.