Well, maybe I’d know that if I’d read the article. Did you ever consider that I was being lazy and vocal while uninformed?!

I don’t know why I’m making it seem like this is your fault, but I hope you’ve learned your lesson

Fuck the both of you, I’m gonna have nightmares tonight

I think she is a legend for what she did and I think USPS was absolutely right to fire her for it.

I hope the mail goes back to being apolitical and that she experiences a soft landing and strong launch career-wise

I have a hypothesis!

Wait… I lost it…

Geez, it was right there… Something about my family from Poland and why I never got to meet their grandchildren…

Edit it again! Put me in the comment!

We’ll always choose blood

I still don’t get why profits are so fucking important, but I’m sure that’ll someday get me thrown into the juicer

But their ideas are different from ours!

(I know it’s way more complicated than this, but you can negotiate with one of these two things)

Plot twist: it destroys your child. Not physically, morally.

With these new indestructible powers, your child enslaves the entirety of mankind. Forced to adopt a bewildered child’s point of view, humans spend all day with their families and friends, get ample sleep, share food and housing, laugh, cry, and find unbeatable protection just by being near those they love.

People love and lift each other to new heights of unshackled peace. Sciences and arts flourish and humanity enters unprecedented phases of discovery, health, and empathy.

But because your child is the villain of this story, all the politicians and capitalists declare war on your indestructible child. They all lose and die. The villain wins. Everyone celebrates.

The end.

20-foot lifted vehicles would probably be considerably safer:

1. They’d easily have the clearance to safely navigate over most pedestrians in their path.
2. Any attempts to balance them well would be incredibly expensive and you’d likely have many drivers whose cars would fall over from insufficiently sized tires or whatever.

Hmmm… 🤔 Now that I think about it, maybe we should subsidize these lift kits to make this a self-solving problem

GMO air is just as good as organic air, you hippie! I’m sick of all you wooden tree-huggers telling me how much better you are. I hug cell towers painted like trees and can feel how much it hums with love. In fact, my doctor says it’s causing my heart to swell, which is how I know my love is real! My doctor even told me I need to stop, but I know it’s just cuz he’s super jealous.

Dirty

It’s just gonna fall off the Empire State Building trying to save Nicole Kidman

So that you can put it back later, store the excess air somewhere safe, like a spare bucket

Can we test that?

Yay! Street pills!

Me looking at that rabioli

“This is it Donny, use your laser eyebeams to cut her in half! DIDN’T YOU HEAR HER INSULT YOU? CUT HER IN HALF!!!”

“Hey, it’s okay buddy, you’re just trying your best…”

“Wtf?! I’ll pay bail for whoever kills that voice”

“See Donny? We used our laser eyebeams just fine. You’re a real disappointment.”

“Loser”

“SAD”

“BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO”

… so bad, it’s so ridiculous…

“You did it Donny, YOU WON THE DEBATE!!!”

“Is someone toasting something?”

I am a Law Man … Not a Politician!

Sounds like you’re a piece of garbage who hides behind a badge and gun

What did it say before the edit?

He liked fava beanis