Use this helpful guide to determine if Trump is lying:

Yes

I even have a helpful mnemonic to remember it:

Trump’s a fucking liar

Thank you for letting me know to look into that. My head is spinning so much with everything going on that I didn’t know about or even consider such a thing.

What are the chances this has to do with Tesla parts being manufactured in Mexico?

I think a reasonable defense would be to split-screen footage of MTG booing at Biden next to live footage of her still existing in office. Most likely booing herself.

Small pickle with a mushroom stuck to the end

I saw one once in Waco while visiting someone at Baylor. Those things are fucking unsettling. Real ROUSs

Ulefone is a great option if you don’t care about security updates and want to beat something to death with your phone.

I dropped my power armor 13 while getting out of my car one day and left a half-dollar sized dent in my door frame.

This is the most perfect political cartoon I’ve ever seen. Perfect analogy, perfectly drawn. Just so beautiful in all the worst ways.

I guess if you look at it wrong enough, a tumor pressing up against your heart is growing pains

Full faith and confidence? They must be sharing their porn browsing history

Is that where your wishes are misinterpreted in some ironic tree-based twist?

Your futon would likely be less crappy if you wore pants. I mean, if you’re gonna have a blowout, might as well do it on something you can throw in the wash.

Hey, buddy? You need a tissue? Or, like… a bandaid?

Related William Osmond

You know what? Go fuck yourself… And gimme more of those damn good tips!

I’ve saved many meals recently when I realized I was missing an ingredient or flavor, but recalled some random vegan post.

No, I’m not vegan, nor is my vegetarian wife vegan. But any kitchen with raw spices and fresh or frozen ingredients can pivot on a fucking dime with some of y’all’s tips.

Sincerely,
An avid lurker

May they find themselves alone, unemployable, destitute, and hungry. When they finally scrape together enough to make a halfway decent bowl of soup, may their dicks or buttholes fall off into it.

He looks like he’s currently committing fraud.

I’d like to buy a vowel. “U?”

Damnit!

I’d like to buy a vowel. “U!”

Damnit!

Transparency so clear that you can’t even see it!