The dog ate his prepared notes

Your pun freshens the breath as well

Tucker is shocked

Couches everywhere will breathe a sigh of relief

The dogs are revolting against the government that won’t protect them from being eaten.

Made up, though based on Trump’s comments about a judge with Mexican heritage:

Read this: How Trump defended criticism of judge for being ‘Mexican’

“Now, this RINO is of Mexican heritage. I built a wall, OK? I built a wall and Mexico paid for it. Of course he will be very unfair to TRUMP. Many people say he wants a job on FAKE NEWS CNN and to write a book”

-@RealDonaldTrump

Tl;Dr

Trump, s ex-FBI official: We have ‘many reasons’ to think ,ex-president, is a Russian ‘asset’

He’s facing the wrong way and he would be lower, puckering at Putin’s personal ‘mic’.

He’s reminiscing on the day his building became the tallest in Manhattan

I had the best debate in the history of debating. Many people, tears in Their Eyes said Sir that Was a Perfect and Beuatiful Debate. Maybe I can Beat Perfection? It was Rigged and she had the answers, and I still Had a Perfect Debate. Should I do Another Debate, we will See, but let me tell you, The Crowd outside of The debate was Tremendous. They were all holding Trump Sigmas.

-@RealDonaldTrump

Elon AF

Fact checking the fact checkers:

Aliens are eating peoples cats, Trump said he saw it on TV

deleted by creator

Better make sure the check clears first, and don’t let them use a credit card (for potential chargeback)

J.D. is just War Boy fodder to Colonel Bone Spurs

Many people say she was born in Haiti. Why won’t she show her birth certificate?