This post is sponsored by the shadow government, as well as my wife finally knowing her place, which is pretty much anywhere, including but not limited to, on my face, deep inside me, the couch, and the arctic, but not at the stove (at least not as long as she refuses to use any spice stronger than salt).

For anyone wanting to make a pilaf esque thing for themself I include this recipe: You need:

  • Meat, preferably chicken, one breast, or more
  • Rice 400g (~ 2 of those semi transparent plastic IKEA cups)
  • Onion 1(One) or more
  • Spices yes
  • Oil/butter (I used a mixture of butter, olive oil, sunflower oil)
  • Anything else you want to throw in
  • broth (2,5 * Rice volume) (Optional)
  • Pot (Thick walls for heat storage if possible)

what to do:

cut the onion in small cubes, cut your meat into larger cubes (about 2-3 cm), put your oil/butter into the pot, once it is hot, throw in the onions. Assume you are Obiwan and the onions just told you that you underestimate their power. Once they are nice and roasted (golden) throw in the meat into the pot. You have the high ground and the meat prepares to make a flip over you. Once the meat is nice and done (to your preference, from burned to just before getting golden) throw in the spice and anything else you want to have there. It is possible that there will be burned things at the bottom, this is not only okay, but also good. If there is something burned at the bottom throw in a little balsamic vinegar, wine, vinegar, or something like that, once the burned things are off the bottom. Throw in the rice and then da water or broth. get the Water to cook (steam is going from your pot) and then semi cover it with a lid, cook on low heat from here till there is no more water (show the rice to the side and look).

Once done serve with sour cream and bread.

Trivia:

Meat and Rice are the base thing, literally anything else in this can be changed, added, removed, and so on, the amount of meat and rice, and anything else can be changed as well, you can as well throw a dice to choose what to add.

Stay Hydrated in this fucking heatwave!

Headpats to those who want pats,

Hugs to those who want hugs,

Brofists to those who want it,

and a good time of the day to all of you!

        • [object Object]@lemmy.caEnglish
          51·
          5 days ago

          You do that after cooking or before cooking the rice though?

          I toast spices like fennel seeds and nuts, never tried roasting rice

          • Old Sage Rick@lemmy.zipOPEnglish
            5·
            5 days ago

            Before, its kinda (and if you are fr*nch avert thy eyes) like risoto where you heat( toast) the rice before adding broth

            • [object Object]@lemmy.caEnglish
              1·
              4 days ago

              Were you guys trolling me with this?

              I just tried it.

              The rice accepted a lot of heat before starting to toast, and when I added it to the water it instantly added a ton of heat and caused it to bubble over making a big mess.

              It did smell nice, but now my stove top is full of rice. We’ll see if it tastes okay in 20 minutes.

              Edit: the rice is horrible. It’s so fucking dry because it boiled over, and there’s negligible flavour from toasting.

              • YiddishMcSquidish@lemmy.todayEnglish
                2·
                4 days ago

                Dude what? All of this is wrong. I feel like I’m in a dream trying to comprehend stuff.

                You put rice in a metal or ceramic thing, heated it up, then added water that in your own words “added a ton of heat”. That’s not how thermodynamics works.

                I think you are trying to troll us.

                But on the off hand you’re not. Here’s the order of operations.

                1. Get pan hot

                2. Add rice and oil(if using oil)

                3. Agitate regularly for a few minutes.

                4. Add appropriate amount of water, cover, and steep.

                • [object Object]@lemmy.caEnglish
                  22·
                  4 days ago

                  I added the rice to water, the water was at low boil, then bubbled over instantly. Adding water to the rice would probably work out different

              • fushuan@piefed.blahaj.zoneEnglish
                2·
                4 days ago

                It’s an internet joke based on the “pardon my french” idiom, that is said after saying insults/being rude.

                Insults -> french -> the word french needs to be censored.

              • Old Sage Rick@lemmy.zipOPEnglish
                2·
                4 days ago

                Its an old joke, censoring “frnch" and "lndon” in the anarchychess community. London referring to the opening, and french just to the general dislike of them

  • SourDrink @lemmy.worldEnglish
    7·
    5 days ago

    Looks good! Sounds like you’re deglazing after bits of herbs and meat are stuck on the pan.

    Only comments: A diced tomato or two could be good for an umami bump. Can of diced tomatoes work too.

    • Old Sage Rick@lemmy.zipOPEnglish
      2·
      5 days ago

      I do that quite often… but I was a lazy pos and didn’t want to go buy tomatoes.

      Nevertheless thank you for the advice

    • Old Sage Rick@lemmy.zipOPEnglish
      2·
      5 days ago

      I can help with thaz, but you either need to be really hungry for that, or be willing to pay a price in blood and sanity by listening to me rambling about some nerd bs

  • Aniki@feddit.orgEnglish
    1·
    3 days ago

    can confirm that this recipe is delicious (i’ve done it multiple times)

  • Ruusunmarja@lemmy.blahaj.zoneEnglish
    3·
    5 days ago

    Sounds good and tasty and I’m sure 5/5 dish, however even zooming in my brain keeps seeing some white worms instead of rice 🙈