• Jarix@lemmy.world
    421·
    10 months ago

    Harry Chapin My child arrived just the other day He came to the world in the usual way But there were planes to catch, and bills to pay He learned to walk while I was away And he was talkin’ 'fore I knew it And as he grew, he’d say “I’m gonna be like you, Dad You know I’m gonna be like you”

    And the cat’s in the cradle and the silver spoon Little boy blue and the man in the moon “When you comin’ home, Dad?” “I don’t know when But we’ll get together then You know we’ll have a good time then”

    My son turned ten just the other day He said, “Thanks for the ball, Dad, c’mon let’s play Can you teach me to throw?” I said, “Not today I got a lot to do”, he said, “That’s okay” And he, he walked away but his smile Never dimmed and said “I’m gonna be like him, yeah You know I’m gonna be like him”

    And the cat’s in the cradle and the silver spoon Little boy blue and the man in the moon "When you comin’ home, Dad? “I don’t know when But we’ll get together then You know we’ll have a good time then”

    Well, he came from college just the other day So much like a man, I just had to say “Son, I’m proud of you, can you sit for a while?” He shook his head, and he said with a smile “What I’d really like, Dad, is to borrow the car keys” “See you later, can I have them please?”

    And the cat’s in the cradle and the silver spoon Little boy blue and the man in the moon “When you comin’ home, son?” “I don’t know when But we’ll get together then, Dad You know we’ll have a good time then”

    I’ve long since retired, my son’s moved away I called him up just the other day I said, “I’d like to see you if you don’t mind” He said, “I’d love to, Dad, if I could find the time” “You see, my new job’s a hassle and the kid’s got the flu” “But it’s sure nice talkin’ to you, Dad It’s been sure nice talkin’ to you”

    And as I hung up the phone, it occurred to me He’d grown up just like me My boy was just like me

    And the cat’s in the cradle and the silver spoon Little boy blue and the man in the moon "When you comin’ home, son? “I don’t know when But we’ll get together then, Dad We’re gonna have a good time then”

    Written by: Harry F. Chapin, Marc Christian Gernert, Sandy Chapin, Andy Love

    Album: Verities & Balderdash (US Release)

    Released: 1974

  • MentalEdge@sopuli.xyz
    28·
    10 months ago

    Not necessarily. I’m in my twenties, still asking, not planning on stopping any time soon.

    • theneverfox@pawb.socialEnglish
      8·
      10 months ago

      I envy that relationship. My dad doesn’t even know my religious or political beliefs, let alone sharing a hobby. It’s not like we don’t talk, he just hears what he wants to hear, and he doesn’t want to hear anything where I know more than him (including my hobbies and my field)

    • nilloc@discuss.tchncs.deEnglish
      3·
      10 months ago

      I lost my dad in my 30s and I still want to ask him to build stuff with me. My 6 year old would have loved to too, so I’m trying to take better care of myself than my dad did, so we have a lot longer together.

  • Jode@midwest.socialEnglish
    112·
    10 months ago

    I got my first dog last year and this is me. Video games can wait cos my lil boy isn’t going to be around forever 😭

  • billwashere@lemmy.worldEnglish
    6·
    10 months ago

    I’d give anything for more of those moments. My son is 21 now and barely acknowledges me anymore. I hope he comes around and it’s just a phase but I have my doubts. So good call on playing legos. You have a limited number of those as a dad.

  • bartolomeo@suppo.fi
    5·
    10 months ago

    I bet he ended the Lego session in a better mood than had he done what he thought he needed to do.

    • illumrial@lemmy.world
      21·
      10 months ago

      Monitoring and fostering a child’s emotions and development via play is mentally taxing. Playing Legos, although fun, isn’t exactly downtime.

    • rickyrigatoni@lemm.ee
      41·
      10 months ago

      My thought exactly. Unless his mood was so bad he just felt like vegetating for a few hours.

      • blazeknave@lemmy.world
        1·
        10 months ago

        So I’ve literally played an ADHD-soothing shitty phone game on the couch while denying my son asking me to join him on Nintendo. One shuts my brain down to repair (and I usually end up picking up a controller after my mind is calm), while the other is active and engaging. Think about playing MP with your grown ass friends and getting frustrated. Imagine a kid.

        (Yes… that’s not as chill as LEGO, but you’ve never seen my kid trying to follow LEGO instructions after a long day. Equally possible to not be chill)

    • TugOfWarCrimes@sh.itjust.works
      43·
      10 months ago

      “I’m not feeling in the mood right now but I am aware that every moment is precious and pushing through this momentary feeling will result in a far greater feeling of happiness for both me and my child into our future when the opportunities to just play together become few and far between.”

      Sometimes you have to look past the choice of words to see the message being conveyed. The point wasn’t that they were dreading playing with their child, it was that despite other factors in their life, they wanted to cherish the moment. And that is the wholesome message you think it is.

      • drphungky@lemmy.worldEnglish
        102·
        10 months ago

        I mean you’re right, but even if you weren’t - it also is an obligation. Having a kid is signing up for way higher highs but also lower lows. Sometimes one of those lows is digging deep and being a good parent when you don’t feel like it. It’s the price for all the awesome times, like watching them put a new thought together or making you laugh with something completely original. It’s also an obligation in the sense that relationships of any type, not just parent child, take work, compromise, and realizing you’re not the center of the universe.

        • TugOfWarCrimes@sh.itjust.works
          2·
          10 months ago

          Brilliantly said. Chasing those “higher highs” can feel like an obligation at times. But I think it’s important to understand that it’s a feeling that is coming from yourself and your own deeper needs as a person. And not, as I believe the person I was replying to was thinking, some sort of societal pressure to conform and “do the right thing.”

          Both interpretations of the word “obligation” are technically correct. But I think that it’s one of those things in life where the only way to truly understand the intended interpretation is to have been a parent for yourself. Somehow it can be both a great chore and burden sometimes, but it’s one you choose to put upon yourself because the rewards are sooooo worth it.

    • GladiusB@lemmy.world
      31·
      10 months ago

      Then you don’t understand yourself or people. It’s not always about you. It’s about you accepting that shit sucks and people still give a shit about you.

      • TugOfWarCrimes@sh.itjust.works
        2·
        10 months ago

        As a parent myself, I love this. I feel that the single most important thing you can do as a parent is to actively tell (and show) your kids that you love them. Everything else can grow from there.

  • BargsimBoyz@lemmy.world
    523·
    10 months ago

    You always have a choice. Sorry to hear OP had a kid and it’s making him compromise his own health. 😢