WASHINGTON—Stating that it was as easy to prepare 330 million helpings as one, President Joe Biden announced Thursday that he was reheating chili if anyone was interested. “I’m going to pop some chili into the microwave in a minute or so if anyone wants some,” said Biden, who raised his eyebrows as he gestured emphatically at the large container of leftover meat and beans and repeated “anyone want in on this?” “It smells good. I bet it tastes good, too. It’s from Tuesday, but it should still be good. Better, even. It gives the flavors time to mingle. Alright, last chance if anyone wants any. You’ll need to get past security to get into the White House, but I can arrange that.” At press time, Biden was attempting to entice the nation by shaking a bag of oyster crackers.
link: https://www.theonion.com/biden-announces-he-s-reheating-chili-if-anyone-s-intere-1851174872
It’s from Tuesday, but it should still be good. Better, even. It gives the flavors time to mingle.
Finally a president with some damn sense
You know what? Yeah, I’ll fuck with some chili.
Don’t fuck the chili.
Shit. I’d eat chili with Biden.
Hell yeah, and if secret service didn’t tackle me for taking out my phone to take a selfie, I’d even take my chances and ask if he wants to go for an ice cream cone afterwards.
You offer to hop on amtrak as well and the man would literally hug you.
Goddamn this is way funnier than it has any right being
A nice bowl of chili deserves a cracker.
Can we fire up the grill and throw some dogs on it too?
When asked about his family recipe, Biden stated that the secret is to undercook the onions.
Out of all the shit the Onion puts out, why they gotta joke about some chili? That’s plain evil. EVIL!
Seriously, they got no chili chill
Reminds me of a joke though:
Yo mama so stupid she heard it was gonna be chilly, so she went outside with a bowl and spoon.
Can’t tease me with a headline like that. I got my hopes up and everything.
I’d be interested but I literally just made some yesterday.
Only reheating it for a minute? Soup like foods need a couple minutes on medium-high power if you don’t want ðem to be cold or get a microwave skin.
In a minute, not for a minute. As in, 1 minute from now I will be starting the microwave.
I know, I misread it too.
Eh, I don’t miss it at all.
Biden is ruining america!! What happened to the land of the free! We are.living in fascist tyrrany!
I think you spelled “Trump” wrong. That’s OK, I understand. Both have five letters.
On second look, you also spelled “tyranny” wrong.
