Image description: Pokemon card showing an agressive goose. Powerups: Intimidate, can only be activated during spring. Show those heretics who’s boss. Deal 1 extra damage for each month the opponent has been out of combat. Shit everywhere, you only eat grass but you are not very good at digesting grass. Deal 20 extra damage to opponents using the picnic card. Weakness: Neck grab Resistance: Fear Extra description: The perfect counter to the park habitat. Eat grass, shit on seats, multiply, fly away from fuckery.
Some idiot decided it would be a good idea to set up apartments buildings all around artificial ponds that serve absolutely no purpose but to look pretty and be breeding grounds for both mosquitoes and these obnoxious bastards. No skating in the winter, no swimming in the summer, maybe fishing but I doubt they’re stocked with anything. Yet still, early morning, late night, mid afternoon; every waking moment of my life is plagued by canadian geese honking and shitting everywhere only to prove that they are the loudest creature in the vicinity.
Beautifully written. Your words are what millions of people across North America are thinking.