Been in a relationship for a year, since early in the relationship my partner has been suffering with chronic back pain. This pain is almost always present, this causes breakdowns multiple times a week, especially on weekends.
I’ve been having a hard time helping her manage her pain and being there for her, it reoccures so much that I’m starting to feel myself becoming apathetic towards her, and sometimes outright cold.
I haven’t really been getting a chance to rest from being emotionally available, or even socially available (even though life circumstance already caused me to basically halt all social life). And i haven’t really had a weekend this past months that i could use to rest instead of being on call and hearing her cry most of the day.
I feel like I’m pouring from an empty cup and that I don’t have any other choice, otherwise I’d be leaving her to deal with it herself.
It feels like it’s going to be the end of our relationship, any advice?
p.s. we’re a man-woman relationship, young adults, both of us not really experienced in relationships, if that’s any help.
I had a friend just like that. Got tiring hearing him complain all the time, everywhere we went. Ending up avoiding him and encouraging his move when he suggested it. There is just a limit you can be sympathetic to, then it will drive your relationship to end. So the only proven methods to solving your issue is:
Couples therapy to deal with your feelings and to teach your partner how to communicate their pain.
Physical therapy to find an workout/exercise routine to help deal with the pain they are feeling. Prescription drugs are only a stop gap method and can lead to addiction and emotional outbursts.
I also went through terrible back pain. Had to walk with a cane and shuffle my feet to get anywhere and I was only 35 at the time. I got over my prejudice against yoga and fully emersed myself in it. Took about a year but with daily (2-3x a day) yoga and then adding in strength training little by little I was able to completely overcome my back issues. Prior to my pain I ran 5miles daily and worked out so it’s not always about health conditions. Today I’m in my mid 40s and I start every day with yoga, box 4x a week, bike 4x a week and my back pains have been non existent so a simple solution can work.
I appreciate someone with similar pains giving feedback about this, puts more of this into perspective, thank you.
Your experience reminds me of this video
https://youtu.be/qX9FSZJu448
I find it it very inspirational to see their journey, with or without the music.
No comment / endorsement on the program or anything, just saying their yoga focused recovery is cool.