An Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scottishman walk into a bar and immediately begin urinating into their foam seats.

“What are you doing!?” exclaimed the barman.

The Irishman zips up and relies, “it is my Celtic birthright to mark my territory from foreign invaders.”

The Englishman zips up and replies, “it was like that when I got here”.

The Scottishman zips up and replies, “what does it look like I’m doing you daft cunt?”