I’m about to start my 12 week paternity leave next week thanks to a state program and almost everyone that I’ve told has had their jaws on the floor that I would even want to do that.
Today I witnessed a group of coworkers almost bragging how little time they took after their kids were born. I’ve heard stuff like “Most men are hard working and want to support their families so they don’t take leave”.
To me it was a no brainer, I’m getting ~85% of my normal pay and I get to take care of my wife, our son and our newborn for 3 whole months. and for someone who hasn’t taken a day breathe in the past 3 years I think I deserve it.
I’m in the US so I know it’s a “strange” concept, but people have seemed genuinely upset, people it doesn’t affect at all. Again, it’s a state program available to almost anyone who’s worked in the past 2 years, I’ve talked to soon to be dads who scoffed at the idea and were happy to use a week of pto and that’s it.
I feel like I’m missing something.
People are idiots. Why would you give up a benefit you’re legally entitled to? Nobody is going to as much as thank you for that.
In the US fathers don’t have any legal right to take time off from work. It’s expected that you would miss at most a few days for the hospital visit.
Come to the EU, noone will scoff at paternity leave here. On the contrary, colleagues will congratulate you for procreating lol
@neomachino,
You will never get the time back to be with your offspring during these formative months into years. I would scoff at any “scoffers” and tell them their bragging of not taking time off to be with their family isn’t the flex they think it is. Life is more than just your occupation. I’m an American living in the Netherlands with my Dutch wife these days, and I can guarantee with certainty my European colleagues would scoff at me if I didn’t take the time off. Attitudes towards this are changing in the U.S., albeit too slowly in my opinion, but our culture is fundamentally sick. I primarily blame puritanical christian zealotry that made its pact with the devil (pun fully intended) with avaricious capital for much of the woes found in our society, for what its worth. Gods willing, this will die out in a few generations.
Take the time and cherish it; your future self and children will thank you.
Their logic is from a POV of they dont get the benefit since they aren’t expecting parents or didn’t get that benefit if/when they wer, so why should anyone else. When really the proper evolved response is to be happy that new trends are being set and we’re improving the cruel system that keeps new parents from critically important family time.
My man, you are literally getting paid to spend time with a tiny human being you helped make. You’d have to be pretty deep into the Kool-aid bottle to say no to that.
I had my mandatory 15 weeks last year and loved it, so from one dad to another: enjoy it!
And remember: if you die tomorrow, you’ll be replaced at work within a few weeks, but you can never ever be replaced at home.
What you’re missing is some men legitimately hate their wives and children and dislike spending time with them. Others drank the coolaid of American capitalist propaganda. Your child will only be a newborn once and your wife will need the help. If anything you should be normalizing it by telling all your friends and colleagues how great it is and how happy you are to get to spend that time with your family. Never shut up about how awesome it is. Expound at length about the many benefits you personally enjoyed thanks to your time with your new child. Every man you convince makes the world a better place.
When I was born my dad worked for himself, he was never home and I can remember running away from him crying cause my mum was leaving the house. He found permanent employment by the time I was 2 because of this.
These men are fuckwits and will wonder why they don’t have or struggle to form a relationship with their children in later life.
If you hate her why would you marry or have kids with her? Its completely optional to have a wife or child.
Social pressure. “When are you getting married? When are you having kids?”
For some people, that’s enough to push them into doing it.
I guess because people fall in and out of love, which is natural, so they start a family and later everything changes. Also because people’s personality changes with time and because they tend to conform to social expectations.
Take the full 12 weeks - you’ll never regret it. Superhero dads are there for their wife and children. You’re doing the right thing.
You are experiencing gender based persecution. Think of men who can’t be a stay at home dad, work as a nurse, or can’t show emotion, etc. Women who want to do construction work or STEM. LGBT and especially trans discrimination is also that taken to an extreme because the perceived gender divergence is more drastic. For whatever reason, there are many people in society who want to enforce strict artificial gender roles on other people.
You are missing better coworkers, or coworkers who haven’t succumbed to the stupid idea that working yourself to the bone for someone else’s profit is good.
“Men are hard working” my ass. Taking care of kids is hard work and if they can’t understand that, their social conditioning worked exactly as expected.
I had 12 months of paternity leave, 11 paid. I dig it.
I always thought it should be even between both parents, along with a staggered return to work at the end. So ideally you can have parents then working mostly alternate days for a few weeks before a full return to work. And the employer shouldn’t be allowed to have any say in it because otherwise its inevitable that pressure is put on you not to take it.
You’re the smart one. Fuck the haters. Ignore them.
Ignore them. If you can, should you try and stagger the time off with your s/o. Don’t take it at the same time.
First of all dont tell your coworkers shit. It almost always becomes ammo for them later.
Definitely take advantage of every state program you can. You paid for it already. People talkin shit are fuckin smoothbrained trogs
Those first few months, especially with your first kid… man. The sleep deprivation alone makes it worth it. Not to mention all the firsts that happen so fast that you’ll otherwise miss… presumably to work for “the man.”
Am American, but been lucky enough to work with people who understand this, and maxed out all paternity leave I could get.
