Iāve watched the first 6 episodes of this show, imo everything past episode 4 is really vague and hard to understand. Iāve read that I shouldnāt expect to understand it on my first watch but if Iām not enjoying it my first time through Iām not gonna torture myself by rewatching something I dont like a bunch of times to understand it. It also makes me feel dumb for not appreciating something deep like this, especially since itās something that youāre actually supposed to think about while watching it. Credit where credit is due, it is definitely one of the most unique anime I have seen.
Iāve dealt with depression before, I guess itās the same way Dostoevsky doesnāt feel the same when Iām reading it with a completely lucid lense. I also take pride in understanding things others donāt, so thatās part of the reason why I donāt like that I donāt understand it. So far as the monitor goes, my mom gave me her old PC she used to use back in, iirc, the 90ās. I do have a matching keyboard for it, but she lost the mouse, I just hooked up the monitor to modern PC cuz I read it was the best way to watch it, along with a low quality recording of the show itself.