Wait so when someone says “I can’t breathe,” they have excited delirium, which is a ‘condition’ that kills you… A condition that the cops caused…

How is that better?

My party fought a purple worm recently. It devoured the cleric. Then the sorcerer used polymorph on it to turn it into a frog, which caused the cleric to get squeezed out of it like toothpaste in a tube and shot out of it and collided with the cavern ceiling, taking ‘fall’ damage. Then the cleric used divine intervention (successfully)… as a divine avatar they swooped down and crushed the frog between their hands, releasing a tidal wave of venemous worm viscera to wash over everyone causing them to take massive poison damage. Great fun :D

In terms of your plan, drilling a hole in the rod may cause it to lose function. Also a general rule about polymorph is that there needs to be room for the transformation, and a general rule for invalid creature placement is that creatures take a small amount of force damage and are moved to the closest available space. As your DM I’d probably say you couldn’t end polymorph early while it’s in the rod, and if you lost concentration or the duration expired, it would be shunted next to the rod and take 2d10 force damage.

Actually what I’d like to do is have the worm trapped in the rod, make you believe it died, and the next time you used it the worm would appear.

Solutions to being too cold - put on more layers, get a hot beverage, do some light exercise

Solutions to being too hot - get to some AC, splash water on yourself, take off layers

The problem is that the first set of solutions is generally more accessible and work-friendly. I can’t take off my shirt on a site visit for work (or even wear shorts, and being in damp sweaty clothes is miserable compared to being chilly and needing to warm up.

Your Walmart doesn’t have self-checkout? Or other open lanes? It’s one particular cashier? Regardless if she’s harassing you like that you need to let her/management know.

I had no idea I even relied on them until they were down. My favorite podcast hosts through them and I had to find a workaround.

Well Nintendo is playtesting a Minecraft-style MMO so hopefully they’ve put resources towards better online play.

Don’t be embarrassed, nobody gives a shit about that stuff. Also… if you’re using condoms… how would she not already know your dick size!?

Yeah this makes me afraid that I’m going to homebrew some NPCs that accidentally follow this naming scheme too closely

Blurry pictures of a happy cat in a loving household

I didn’t think this was that obscure. I made heaps of MP3 CDs full of video game music for my long drives to/from college. It was all both intuitive and easy for me - like the video shows you just copy the files on the disc and burn it.

💥POW💥POW💥POW💥POW💥POW💥POW💥POW💥POW💥 “Shots fired requesting backup”

QWERPline and Welcome to Nightvale. Both of them are comedy faux local radio broadcasts on completely different ends of the spectrum.

Ocean Rule

People don’t realize that this has always been the case. I learned my wife’s grandpa’s real name at his funeral.

Individual samples and UV lights, though often there was a rock where multiple people would lick it. People probably don’t get sick from that often.

Geology degree here - you identify some rocks by licking them. Licking most rocks will give you no information. But in a final, honestly, nobody would bat an eye if you licked all of them, just in case.

Pure poetry

Tell your friends and family that you love them but you won’t see them for a while

How else can you appreciate the view from halfway down?