Get a bike seat and take the kid with you, complaints addressed.
Trailers and third wheels are also good options depending on the age and aptitude of the child.
I’ve encouraged her to think of some of her own personal hobbies to get into and offered to get an e-bike so she and our daughters can tag along.
Missed the point of take the daughters by yourself and let the spouse have some time, instead of forcing the spouse to follow you on your hobby with an ebike.
Missed the point of getting her own hobbies.
I want to rip the author a new one about being judgmental about a situation they know very little about, but the guy did write in and ask for advice I guess. Relationships are complicated, and solving problems requires communication.
[she] makes passive-aggressive comments about my priorities
She says that it impacts our family time too much and that she’s doing a lot of solo parenting
It sounds like a simple case of he thinks his obligations to the family are filled and the wife doesn’t agree, which has nothing to do with cycling.
As a parent of four I can say without a doubt that taking a few hours a week to maintain your sanity and stress levels is as important as the child. If you’re constantly stressed and tired you are going to be a shitty parent. The same goes for her. She needs that time as much as he does (doing her thing whatever that may be). But I’m guess from her reaction she was raised to only care about the child and that anything else was selfish. Turning yourself into a martyr is actually one of the most selfish things you can do.
Tl;dr: Take care of yourself, as well as the child. Everyone will be better off.
No she doesn’t.
How do you know his wife?
This one is tough. Having a kid really does drastically decrease any time you can actually spend on hobbies, unfortunately.
Some hobbies might have to go, but mine just adapted a bit to fit in a new participant.
I made a seat and foot pegs for my 3 y/o to ride on my top tube and took him with me on decent rides down quiet roads and bike trails to get out of the house during the pandemic.
Later I found a free tandem trailer thing he could pedal and towed him around on that (it sucked when he didn’t pedal, but built up my leg muscles).
Now he’s 8 and he’s got the speed and endurance to go at least 10 miles on trails now, or hit the local pump track for an hour or two, so my hobby is back, just a little different than pre kids. Plus it gives my wife some quiet time while we’re out!
That is very true, but the kid is more important of course. Then again, maybe you can involve them in your hobbies if they show an interest and it becomes something you do together!
