Just began the process of divorcing my wife of 4 years for having a sexual relationship with someone I’ve been friends with for over 20 years. With the marriage goes my sense of financial security, a cohesive circle of close friends, a stable place to live, an adorable pup, and pretty much the entirety of my life plans for the next five years. I’m living paycheck to paycheck, and only barely so.
But I’ve learned to rely on myself and my resolve a lot more, and the relationship I’ve begun to forge with my inner-self is something I wouldn’t trade away for anything. And I’ve become a lot closer with the friends I’ve retained, or it feels like I have.
I hope you’ve divorced that shitty friend of yours, too.
Trying to care for my partner with PTSD, she’s alcoholic and actively suicidal. Doctor is trying to help but mental health support has a huge waiting list (months and years). Her son, living with us, is retarded, rude, disrespectful, incompetent, and complains constantly about not being able to get a job so he can move out. (I’m not sure that he’s even employable). My ex wife kicked out my son because he and my youngest are arguing all the time and she (ex wife) can’t cope. He started moving in here but doesn’t get along with my partner so he ran away from home (he’s an adult). Now we have a room full of his stuff but don’t know where he is or whether he’s coming back.
I’m still getting over cancer treatment and l I’m so tired.
I’m fine, how are you?
Jeezus. Dude. I mean. Dude. Err. Do you have some place to vent occasionally?
Same problem as most everyone else really, one month away from homelessness.
LostHad to put my dog down on Wednesday.My divorce finalizes on Monday.
It’s mostly the dog thing tho
Right? I once told an ex “not going to miss you, going to miss the dog though”. I was correct.
But then again, your dog had you until the end, so his world was probably pretty okay. You likely did your job well, giving him a life with you in it and he didn’t have to go through the pain of getting used to anything else. This is the contract we have with those shortlived, trusting creatures. In a stupid metaphor, we’re some sort of elves to them, but the price for our seemingly immortal lifetime is, that we are the ones that have to endure so many goodbyes. They accompany you through the years, you accompany them to the end. It’s fair and our lives are richer for it.
In my area there are local lost dog Facebook pages. Good luck! Divorce sucks, but sometimes marriage is worse. Your home should be your calm, safe space.
Yea, I mean ‘lost’, not misplaced lol
Oh man. I’m so sorry.
You gave me a good chuckle. Thank you.
Modern civilisation is ending and likely cannot be stopped.
Suggestions on a postcard pls.
I moderated r/collapse for about a year. I’ve been aware since 2012 what is coming and it’s only this last year that it’s like a switch was flipped. This summer is going to be brutal and it will only get worse.
I can’t talk about this with my wife, as she is unable to cope with the data and shuts down. None of my friends want to talk about the problems we face and call me a downer. I’ve come to the realization that every day that I’m not baking alive, dying of thirst/hunger, or being killed for my meat is a good day that I should cherish.
Pretty much same. Around 2012 it really became apparent that nothing was going to be done in time and I personally flipped from “Science/tech will save us!” to pessimist. At this point it’s just realism.
The way the world handled Covid was the final nail in the coffin for me when the majority of humanity demonstrated that they can’t/won’t behave as a collective to save lives if it inconveniences them. It was the perfect test run for what is to come and most made it abundantly clear they can’t cope with any kind of disruption to their capitalistic routine.
Now the data is beginning to show in the graphs the news is slowly seeping into mainstream circles. But at this it’s way too late and nothing short of ditching the idea of growth and uniting/mobilising the entire world against the issue will solve it.
Luckily my partner is fully aware too so we’re just making what we can of the time we have left. My friends and family on the other hand are busy having kids and whilst appear to listen, obviously don’t grasp the gravity of the situation.
So long, and thanks for all the fish
So sad that it should come to this
hopefully its the end of the beginning, more than the beginning of the end.
This graph suggests the latter.
Not to mention the rising tensions around the globe reminiscent of the 1930s.
Sometimes I think you know, being mildly chronically ill with no real social attachments isn’t that bad.
gestures vaguely
Money and money
I mean isn’t it always?
everything’s fine personally, but it makes me sad and bitter that i see a world where the light keeps getting dimmer. when i was younger, i believed in a bright future. hell, i believed in a bright future up until 2015 or so.
i don’t see young people making good memories any more. i don’t see love any more.
what can you do about it? make sure there are consequences for the people who are making it go dark.
I’m emotionally in a bad place from years of emotional abuse (as a child and an adult). I struggle with ADHD, major depression, and anxiety. I’m unemployed and desperate for a career change. My marriage is in the shitter and I have no friends or family to lean on for anything. I’m all alone…
Hold tight
There’s no easy recipe for any of those things. But try to do things that make you happy. Music is my go to, bit there’s little tiny things everywhere if you take the time to slow and appreciate it.
If you’re into social media like most people (I’m not, besides Lenny) is being a creator instead of consumer. Try finding some joy in making a Tik Tok, and stay away from it’s feed. That’s how I’m trying to teach my son social media, because it’s a creative process instead of addiction.
For starters, I’m 20 hours late for this post. It’s the two year anniversary of my mother dying of cancer. My brother died of cancer in August. My wife almost died this month. I can’t sleep. I have too much anxiety. I don’t have any face to face friends and I feel too burned out for anyone to want to be my friend.
That’s the neat part, you can’t. Unless you can fix healthcare, housing/transportation, money etc (even if you could, it wouldn’t be the same as if those were never problems in the first place). That or the old escapist dream of “get me out of here” but I also don’t ever see that happening for a lot of reasons. So again, no.
Even trying to broaden the definition of help… things are probably too personal, too difficult/specific, and maybe even inconsequential. Like the type of thing there just isn’t an answer for.
For some reason I find it absolutely hilarious that some idiots have downvoted this.
“Please keep your existential dread to yourself as we only really want to hear problems that can be fixed with a pithy Lemmy comment.”
Sorry bro, not much consolation but I feel you.
I would say the point of my comment was more on despair than dread.
And anyone who downvoted probably didn’t get that I was speaking from my own life, as addressed in another reply. Guess that’s my fault for trying to make it not about me.
Though either way I can’t actually see the downvotes. None of them are federated to Kbin and on the Lemmy side the score seems identical now and no vote tracking to show negatives (unless that’s only if you have an account).
Helping a person doesn’t require systemic change. Ultimately yes, to end the major problems people face will require that change to occur, but helping an individual isn’t that hard. Sometimes people are just in a bind and could use advice or $50. Don’t call that inconsequential. If you get so in the weeds on systemic change that you fail to see how to help an individual in need, then you lost the thread.
I don’t think OP was actually proposing that they’d solve our problems. Just wondering what they are (I guess).
I wanted some idea of where the problems lie and from there figure out what an individual could do.
Where to start? 😅
Short version: been sick in various forms for the last 4 years with leg infections, epididymitis, covid and awful fatigue. Finally got an answer this past week of low testosterone. GP is unhelpful - won’t refer me to endocrinology or urology because things will just go back to normal if I lose weight.
Long version? Eh, on request. Typing on my phone is awful.
How can random folk on the Internet help? I’ve no idea! Is anyone knows how to brow beat the NHS GP service into actually caring about their patients is love to know the secrets.
I am sorry you are experiencing this, it is so frustrating! Obligatory “I am not in the US” but what I ended up doing was to list my mom’s address as if I was still living there so I could access a different clinic with different doctors since the one I was stuck with gave me similar advice as yours. Not perfect but it kind of helped.
Ah sadly due to the above happening I’ve been living at home with my folks so we’re all registered at the same surgery. Good idea though!
I need to find a smart and cute 45 year old lady with a nice house who’s lonely and horny. I can handle the shopping, cooking and entertainment.
If she has any friends in the same position put in a good word for me okay?
Every day I go to work, come gome, sleep, etc. That’s not the issue. The issue is that every day, I fear for my kids and family. I sit and wonder what of their future? Pollution and climate change is in our face and no government entity is doing a thing about it. No corporation is budging. It was over 50F in January where it should be below zero. Should I get a survival kit? Would it help? Do I need something to grab and go? How can I teach my kids survival skills in the wild when I have no experience myself? Where will we go? How will we get clean water and food when the system shuts down? What will we eat when we are rationing fresh water and the crops are dying due to heat and sun baking?
I think people should worry about all those things, but I also think if you read the media it’s like there will be mass deaths everywhere within 5 years which is far from truth.
We as a civilization shouldn’t sit and do nothing for serious matters that will happen beyond ones lifetime.
deleted by creator
I’m not a religious person but clearly it is giving you support so I’m really glad to hear it.
Do you doodle? I don’t, so I used to put paper in top of comics and copy them. And then hang them on stuff like books. Today I’d do a few in my desk, laptop lid and laptop screen wallpaper. You may want to stick it to your phone? I can see that as great conversation starters with common interest.
I’ve struggled similarly over the years and had my ups and downs. One thing that has helped me is remembering that my feelings are subjective, and not necessarily reflective of reality. My view of the world is often skewed, whether by brain chemistry, various biases, or the influence of others, so I have to seek out what’s actually true in any given situation. It helps me; I hope it will help you, at least a little.
Honestly, in my experience, things get better when I exert control over what I can. I’d tell you to control what you can and go easy with the rest. Try to do better every day, really try consciously, and the struggle itself will be rewarding.
I’m rooting for you. If there is a Creator, and I believe there is, he’s rooting for you, too.
