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@Viking_Hippie@lemmy.world to The Onion@midwest.socialEnglish • 1 year ago

Trump Forced To Play Glockenspiel At Rally After Every Artist Bars Use Of Songs

theonion.com

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  • theonion@midwest.social
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Trump Forced To Play Glockenspiel At Rally After Every Artist Bars Use Of Songs

theonion.com

@Viking_Hippie@lemmy.world to The Onion@midwest.socialEnglish • 1 year ago
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  • theonion@midwest.social
WALKER, MI—Plunking out a solo as the performance entered its 45th minute, Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump was reportedly forced to play the glockenspiel at a rally Friday after every musical artist in the country banned him from using their songs. “He started out with some sheet music, but within minutes he was just hammering […]
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  • @aeronmelon@lemmy.world
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    38•1 year ago

    I know this is satire because there is no way Trump has any musical talent.

    • @henfredemars@infosec.pub
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      24•1 year ago

      It would also require effort and a degree of hand-eye coordination not typical for those in his age group with his degree of mental deterioration.

      • @pearsaltchocolatebar@discuss.online
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        5•1 year ago

        For a lot of geriatric musicians, playing is basically muscle memory.

        • Rose Thorne(She/Her)
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          5•1 year ago

          That also takes dedicating a good chunk of time to practice.

          • @pearsaltchocolatebar@discuss.online
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            2•1 year ago

            Many elderly people don’t have a lot to do with their time, so that seems like a good thing

        • @luciferofastora@lemmy.zip
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          2•1 year ago

          …contingent on having built that memory from years of practice. I don’t know if there’s any instrument I can imagine Trump playing, aside from tooting his own horn even when there’s nothing to toot about.

    • @phx@lemmy.ca
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      2•1 year ago

      Honestly, if this ever really happened it would be one thing that actually might make me want to see such a rally.

  • @just_another_person@lemmy.world
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    21•1 year ago

    Jokes on you, Onion, because that is very clearly a Vibraphone and not a Glockenspiel. DEUUUUHHHHHHHH

    • @Viking_Hippie@lemmy.worldOP
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      4•1 year ago

      Glockenspiel is a much funnier word, though 😁

    • @chuckleslord@lemmy.world
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      2•1 year ago

      Me, a true musician, they’re all just sound sticks you hit. Unlike rain sticks (sound sticks you flip) and drum sticks (sound sticks to hit with)

  • @BassTurd@lemmy.world
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    15•1 year ago

    Came for the headline, stayed for the picture, and really enjoyed the article. Well done The Onion.

    • @Synthuir@lemmy.ml
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      5•1 year ago

      You should really look into their print edition that they just relaunched, then! Really cheap and a great way to support the new ownership.

  • @thejml@lemm.ee
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    13•1 year ago

    And I’m sure it was the Best glockenspiel performance ever. Professional musicians have likely told him they’ve never heard anything as great.

  • @p5yk0t1km1r4ge@lemmy.world
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    8•
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    1 year ago

    I really hate this timeline. We are at a point now where I thought this was legit

  • @lulztard@lemmy.world
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    6•1 year ago

    Oh. It’s the onion. Didn’t realize until well after deep into comments.

  • @morphballganon@lemmy.world
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    5•1 year ago

    He could always play classical… though that might cause his followers to grow some brain cells and leave.

    • @Phegan@lemmy.world
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      4•1 year ago

      I’ve never understood why classic is “smart people music”.

      I like a lot of classic music, but I don’t think it should be considered any more cultured or intellectual than any other music.

  • @RizzRustbolt@lemmy.world
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    4•1 year ago

    And he’s a damned virtuoso.

    • @YerbaYerba@lemm.ee
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      4•1 year ago

      A true idiot savant

      • watson
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        6•1 year ago

        A true idiot

  • @BigMacHole@lemm.ee
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    3•1 year ago

    I’m a Republican who Does His Own Research and The Onion is LIBRUL PROPAGANDA! WAKE UP Sheeple! Kid Rock would GLADLY play at Trump’s Rally! The Onion is the DEEP STATE!

  • @huquad@lemmy.ml
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    3•1 year ago

    Feeling hot hot hot!

  • @rumschlumpel@feddit.org
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    3•1 year ago

    If only there weren’t Republican musicians …

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