The problem with this is, and it drives me crazy, I keep hearing āif we talked to them-ā
Iām a woman! They wonāt talk to me! Or, if they do, itās to tell me why Iām wrong, because Iām a woman! This isnāt something I can deprogram away!
And trust me, Iāve deprogrammed right-wing shitheads before, who werenāt also misogynists. I canāt do shit for the ones who arenāt willing to talk to me. And the worst part? I have gotten lots of seemingly hopeless people into committed, loving, long-term relationships through the power of just listen to me, I can help you, but nooooo! I have breasts! Iām almost 40! I have a happy, long-term relationship, and Iām a woman, so what can I possibly know!
Iām sick to death of āwe just need to-ā No we donāt, because we canāt. Men need to. Men need to break through this toxic bullshit because we, and by this I mean, women, literally canāt. And trying- and trust me on this because Iāve tried- trying only gets abuse.
I really canāt underscore this enough. The wall I come up against is, what do you know, youāre a woman. āWeā canāt talk our way out of this one. The problem of toxic masculinity intentionally boxes women out, making it nigh impossible for women to help.
I know. The main thing they need is a non-misogynist male role model, which is becoming increasingly hard to find because apparently social media algorithms encourage the type of content that pushes them in the opposite direction.
Realistically, imo, the main way women can help with this, besides talking to them very early on (VERY early on, as Tate-types are unfortunately gaining traction in school as well), is trying to combat the misandrist narrative that keeps on growing in feminist spaces. One example is the whole Bear debacle, which furthered the divide between genders even more. If people (in general, Iām sure many men shared it as well) keep making stuff like that go viral, it makes it harder and harder for young males to develop any sort of empathy for the opposite sex.
I find it very difficult to empathize with the ābear thing,ā because, as my fiance (who is a man) put it, āI donāt know why anyone would pick any other human over the bear. Bears tend to avoid you and do your own thing. Humans are unpredictable.ā
From that perspective, it seemed like a lot of people just got mad because they identify with the word āman,ā here, and donāt want to think of themselves as capable of evil. Which would be naive, because everyone is capable of anything.
Bears donāt ātend to avoidā any more than people do. Thereās dangerous people that would assault you, and thereās species of bears (i.e. Polar Bears) that would definitely attack you on sight.
But the whole thing is not about the technicality. The videos were very clearly framed with emphasis on the gender of the human, they got extremely viral and millions of young males saw women saying stuff like āat least the bear would kill me instantlyā. How do you think they felt, as kids that probably never even had a relationship before? You think that āhelped them understand the womenās point of viewā like they said was the purpose of the video, or brought them in the opposite direction, making them feel like theyāre some different species, impossible to relate with, planting a seed that will only grow through the indoctrination of all the online toxic masculinity gurus?
Enough with the āMen vs. Womenā, especially online where young kids will see them without any context of why is that happening. Both sexes need to do their best to stop prejudices towards the other inside their groups, and only then we can have a serious and understanding conversation. Of course thatās hard to do between algorithms and bad actors, but thereās really nothing else we can do at this point, since the large majority of both camps is entrenched in their opinion and will only listen to people of their own gender.
The problem with this is, and it drives me crazy, I keep hearing āif we talked to them-ā
Iām a woman! They wonāt talk to me! Or, if they do, itās to tell me why Iām wrong, because Iām a woman! This isnāt something I can deprogram away!
And trust me, Iāve deprogrammed right-wing shitheads before, who werenāt also misogynists. I canāt do shit for the ones who arenāt willing to talk to me. And the worst part? I have gotten lots of seemingly hopeless people into committed, loving, long-term relationships through the power of just listen to me, I can help you, but nooooo! I have breasts! Iām almost 40! I have a happy, long-term relationship, and Iām a woman, so what can I possibly know!
Iām sick to death of āwe just need to-ā No we donāt, because we canāt. Men need to. Men need to break through this toxic bullshit because we, and by this I mean, women, literally canāt. And trying- and trust me on this because Iāve tried- trying only gets abuse.
I really canāt underscore this enough. The wall I come up against is, what do you know, youāre a woman. āWeā canāt talk our way out of this one. The problem of toxic masculinity intentionally boxes women out, making it nigh impossible for women to help.
I know. The main thing they need is a non-misogynist male role model, which is becoming increasingly hard to find because apparently social media algorithms encourage the type of content that pushes them in the opposite direction.
Realistically, imo, the main way women can help with this, besides talking to them very early on (VERY early on, as Tate-types are unfortunately gaining traction in school as well), is trying to combat the misandrist narrative that keeps on growing in feminist spaces. One example is the whole Bear debacle, which furthered the divide between genders even more. If people (in general, Iām sure many men shared it as well) keep making stuff like that go viral, it makes it harder and harder for young males to develop any sort of empathy for the opposite sex.
I find it very difficult to empathize with the ābear thing,ā because, as my fiance (who is a man) put it, āI donāt know why anyone would pick any other human over the bear. Bears tend to avoid you and do your own thing. Humans are unpredictable.ā
From that perspective, it seemed like a lot of people just got mad because they identify with the word āman,ā here, and donāt want to think of themselves as capable of evil. Which would be naive, because everyone is capable of anything.
Bears donāt ātend to avoidā any more than people do. Thereās dangerous people that would assault you, and thereās species of bears (i.e. Polar Bears) that would definitely attack you on sight.
But the whole thing is not about the technicality. The videos were very clearly framed with emphasis on the gender of the human, they got extremely viral and millions of young males saw women saying stuff like āat least the bear would kill me instantlyā. How do you think they felt, as kids that probably never even had a relationship before? You think that āhelped them understand the womenās point of viewā like they said was the purpose of the video, or brought them in the opposite direction, making them feel like theyāre some different species, impossible to relate with, planting a seed that will only grow through the indoctrination of all the online toxic masculinity gurus?
Enough with the āMen vs. Womenā, especially online where young kids will see them without any context of why is that happening. Both sexes need to do their best to stop prejudices towards the other inside their groups, and only then we can have a serious and understanding conversation. Of course thatās hard to do between algorithms and bad actors, but thereās really nothing else we can do at this point, since the large majority of both camps is entrenched in their opinion and will only listen to people of their own gender.