Unless youāre going about it like an asshole, no. Youāre communicating, standing by your position, and setting a boundary.
She knows smoking is dangerous, she knows you donāt like it, she knows you want her to quit, sheās quit before so she knows how to do it.
Have you considered compromising with vapes? Still not as good for you as not smoking at all, but significantly healthier than smoking and doesnāt make everything smell horrific. She can get that nicotine buzz she craves with very few of the downsides. She can also then taper her nicotine content and quit that way if she decides to.
Iām trying not to to be an asshole about it. She knows my stance and Iām not budging. That said, I donāt throw it in her face. In fact, I only told her once that I wonāt do the vow renewal until she quits. We have an otherwise perfect marriage.
We havenāt had the vape conversation, but Iām not in favor of that either. You donāt quit drinking by switching from beer to vodka. I honestly donāt know how I would feel about her switching to vape. I hate the smell of her addiction but thatās not my biggest issue. I hate the effect on her health but thatās not the complete picture either. I hate the concept of a smoking addiction. Itās not my identity, and I donāt want it to be the identity of us as a couple. We are blue collar AF, but I still feel like her smoking diminishes us.
I used to be proud of her for quitting and staying quit. Now Iām not anymore.
That identity thing seems counterproductive. The way addictions works, you generally kind of stay addicted indefinitely even if you manage to quit and stay off the substance forever. And in contrast to beer vs. vodka, vapes are healthier than cigarettes - even if that doesnāt actually change anything for you, itās definitely better for her.
Not sure about the vodka vs beer analogy, but people have definitely quit smoking by switching to vaping. A hard addiction such as years of smoking needs to be slowly eased off, otherwise youāre just asking for health issues and a fast relapse.
Unless youāre going about it like an asshole, no. Youāre communicating, standing by your position, and setting a boundary.
She knows smoking is dangerous, she knows you donāt like it, she knows you want her to quit, sheās quit before so she knows how to do it.
Have you considered compromising with vapes? Still not as good for you as not smoking at all, but significantly healthier than smoking and doesnāt make everything smell horrific. She can get that nicotine buzz she craves with very few of the downsides. She can also then taper her nicotine content and quit that way if she decides to.
Iām trying not to to be an asshole about it. She knows my stance and Iām not budging. That said, I donāt throw it in her face. In fact, I only told her once that I wonāt do the vow renewal until she quits. We have an otherwise perfect marriage.
We havenāt had the vape conversation, but Iām not in favor of that either. You donāt quit drinking by switching from beer to vodka. I honestly donāt know how I would feel about her switching to vape. I hate the smell of her addiction but thatās not my biggest issue. I hate the effect on her health but thatās not the complete picture either. I hate the concept of a smoking addiction. Itās not my identity, and I donāt want it to be the identity of us as a couple. We are blue collar AF, but I still feel like her smoking diminishes us.
I used to be proud of her for quitting and staying quit. Now Iām not anymore.
That identity thing seems counterproductive. The way addictions works, you generally kind of stay addicted indefinitely even if you manage to quit and stay off the substance forever. And in contrast to beer vs. vodka, vapes are healthier than cigarettes - even if that doesnāt actually change anything for you, itās definitely better for her.
Not sure about the vodka vs beer analogy, but people have definitely quit smoking by switching to vaping. A hard addiction such as years of smoking needs to be slowly eased off, otherwise youāre just asking for health issues and a fast relapse.