Scared of dating and getting my heart broken again. Too much pain for me to handle. And I’m not where I want to be in life right now. So I’m focusing on myself (mental and phyical health) and building my future career. It’s been the most peaceful years of my life since my break up.
If you use an AI frequently and many different questions and answers are linked to your profile, it can perform a kind of meta-analysis.
According to the model, I tend to be attuned to:
- cognitive compatibility (tolerating ambiguity, thinking on different levels)
- emotional resonance (emotional openness, enabling closeness)
- low neediness and the ability to form bonds
- authenticity without pretense
- the ability to be quietly close
- resolving conflicts clearly but without being invasive
- depth without cynicism
These combinations are rare. I have not mentioned aesthetics. The more short-term relationships I have experienced, the harder it becomes to form new ones.
I was married til I was 38 (now 48). Got divorced, kids were grown, so I dated. A LOT. I’ve come to the conclusion that if you are single after 40, you are a basket case. EVERYone that I dated was crazy. Fun, but crazy. I’m just too old for that now. lol. I’d rather read books and hang out with my cat. And yes, I realize people probably think I’m crazy too. #crazycatgentlemen
Crazy cat gentlemen unite!
Nearing 40 in an area with nothing but old rich people, currently renting one of their garage “apartments.”
Atypical “introverted nerd” type, as in I work in a factory as opposed to the tech field, and am never around people like myself.
On a 1-10 scale of appearance I’m like 2.5
But worst of all, my greatest possible sin, I never want to live with a dog. According to the dating profiles I see that eliminated 99.9999999% of them.
As to why I’ll continue to be single aside from all the above, I gave up ~2 years ago. My last relationship was 10 years ago. Some of us just aren’t desirable to anyone and I just have to accept that.
Because I haven’t mastered mitosis yet
9 year relationship ended 6 months ago and I don’t feel like getting into new one anymore.
Choice and laziness mostly.
Sorry ladies, this one’s taken.
I’ve lived in the same place for four years, which is the longest I’ve been anywhere since I was 15, and right now I’m not taking care of any dying relatives which has also been a constant over the years, so I’m not in a rush to make any drastic changes to my situation.
I decided in my mid-to-late 20’s that I did not want kids and that relationships tend to bring too much stress into my life. And from what I’ve seen from most other people’s relationships and marriages, I do not regret my decision. And these aren’t even bad relationships/marriages. They’re very functional. But there’s still stress and “drama” in all of them. No, thanks.
Yes, even in happy relationships there is so much extraneous drama injected into ordinary situations.
I’ve had so many kind gesture towards my partner rejected and shoved back in my face. It’s just not worth it anymore.
When I buy myself a coffee or flowers, I don’t scream at myself for getting the wrong coffee/flowers, or start ranting how I don’t do this often enough, or that I’m trying to manipulate them… etc etc.
I just get to enjoy the coffee or the flowers and be at peace and think how pleasant it is. God forbid something just be enjoyable instead of weaponized.
Cause I got married. It’s not that different from being single.
why?
At some point all the fun stuff from a new relationship dies down and most of it just turns into a drag. The deepest conversations you’ll have are about what to eat or whether you’ll be home at a regular time.
I know this is not the case in all marriages but most of them that end in divorce are merely because it started as something fun, marriage seemed the next logical step and then you’re sort of locked into it, longing back to the excitement of getting to know each other. Being single is pretty much like that unless you never meet new people you have a fun couple of weeks with before never seeing each other again.
Everyone I asked for partnership said no
sorry for u
How many have you asked? You might have to up those numbers
Why do you need to know?
I sort of gave up after the last relationship. I can’t be arsed with the dating stuff anymore. If someone comes to my door and tells me that we are now in a relationship, sure, fine. But I’m not gonna bother seeking one out. I have books to read.
I just can’t be bothered. Too much work and I want to be selfish with my time.
