take space, be visible, now more then ever!
Hetero, nuclear family, dad checking in
Iām in deep red Tennessee. When they declared June nuclear family monthā¦
I immediately went to flags for good and bought this
Itās flying on my porch currently. Because fuck those guys.
Iām assuming nuclear family month is a reactionary anti-pride Christian virtue signaling thing?
Youāre correct
Good old Tennessee, never fails to disappoint
What flag is that?
Tennessee + Pride
Huh, I guess Iāve never seen the Tennessee flag before despite living in a bordering state.
Neither have I, just guessed it was related based on the text
I absolutely hate the nuclear family, genuinely why the hell is that called a ātraditional familyā its not even a century old. The true traditional family is the communal family which I vastly prefer.
Yeah itās really stupid. So much other things to worry about.
But no. Gotta alienate those folks who are different than me.
Some dumbass kids spraypainted āGAY PEOPLE ARE NOT COOLā on the bridge into town, so I snuck out there with my red spraycan and put an X into the āNOTā. Iāve never tagged anything, I felt like an idiot doing it. Just so gay people know we got their back in this town, in case they see it.
hah ! such an easily hijacked message. Amateurs
https://static.klipy.com/ii/c3a19a0b747a76e98651f2b9a3cca5ff/eb/fe/bfPRGgRy.gif
Could get a few other colours to have covered it with a rainbow. Though that is quite a few spraycans to carry.
Just one at a time really
Also ānot coolā in the US is best known as an exceptionally low-effort, apathetic, and/or impotent rebuke, so the correction hits like āforgive our pathetic shitheadsā
Yeah, itās cause we are so hot. š„
Fuck Nazis.
Happy Pride!
Fuck Nazis.
Iād rather not. I have standards.
If youād like to file for a legal alternative, you must submit proof of ten severed Nazi heads. Your request may be filed multiple times, but no guarantee for it to be approved.
I try to not be seen as queer at work and I still have a pride flag in my office as a sign of support. Honestly, surprised there hasnāt been a single comment about it in the years Iāve had it up.
I put it up after someone I know was talking about how they put up a pride flag and then a lot of neighbors joined in and it helped their daughter feel safer and more welcomed in their community (she wasnāt even queer afaik, her mom just had a girlfriend).
I try to not be seen as queer at work
I instantly thought of this character in the Key & Peele Office Homophobe sketch (or whatever itās called).
Queer people: Iām a cis straight man. Would it be ok for me to show some rainbow iconography to show support? I try not to put myself in gay spaces since thatās not for me. Idk if it would come across as likeā¦stolen gay valor or something.
Side question: is it ok for me to refer to lgbtq+ people as queer? The acronym feels clunky but Iām not sure if this is a āwe can say it but not youā situation.
I understand that the answers may not have broad agreement one way or another but I wanted to do at least a little bit of a temperature check.
Certain events are inclusive of anyone accepting of queer people, including allies. Look for something that says āall are welcome!ā Itās nice to have people there that perhaps arenāt āone of usā but still treat us like anyone else.
Others are not, simply because itās for specific groups. If youāre a cis man, I would be very cautious of you if you came to a lesbian or a non-binary gathering. Attending because youāre a father or brother of a lesbian and want to understand more about your loved one would likely be ok.
Best thing to do for any of these events is to remember that you are not the focus and these are centered on queer experiences. Itās nothing against you! But itās good to always remember itās about making sure a queer space stays safe and welcoming for queer people.
If you hear one of us venting about cis het people (and it is usually specific ones or ones that do x), please donāt take it personally! We know itās not all cis het people, just specific ones that have made our lives harder just because we are not cis het.
This should go without saying, but donāt fetishize anyone. Being attracted to trans folk or bisexual/pan/etc. folk is completely ok! Treating them like a sex object is not. (This is probably not you, but in case anyone reading this needs to see it spelled outā¦ Here it is.)
We welcome people that want to support us! But bragging about how much of an ally you are is off-putting. Iām not saying you do this, but it does happen occasionally andā¦ Just donāt, it comes of as very insincere and āstraight savior.ā
I canāt speak for all of us, but I consider āqueerā a reclaimed term that should not be used by those not queer but I donāt have a better commonly used alternative. I like GRSM (gender, romantic, sexuality minorities) but again, this is not common. LGBT+ or LGBTQ is fine imo. I am just one person of a large community so you may get different answers.
I donāt think a pride flag (or inclusive pride flag) is bad for a cis het person to use. Donāt use a specific one, like a men loving men or lesbian flag unless there is clear indication that you are in support, like āI love my [identity] [relation].ā Note that if you have a flag without context, you might get hit on by the same gender. As long as you remain polite, all is well!
There is an ally flag that is a safe bet!
Apologies if some of this is obvious to you. Thanks for asking. Just trying to be thorough and try to include things that anyone that might encounter this message find useful.
Thanks for the thorough perspective! The specific space I was thinking of was a gay bar/gay club. There have been a few times when Iāve partied with a group that included a bunch of gay men. Then that group wanted to continue the night at a gay bar and invited me. Even with an invitation, it would feel like invading. I had no idea there was an ally flag. Iāll look into repping that.
Thanks for all the tips.
As a lesbian who goes out to gay bars, my perspective is that if someone who isnāt queer is invited by queer friends to a gay bar, itās absolutely fine to go. Just donāt flirt with people, as Iād find that disrespectful. Have fun with your group, and enjoy the wonderful events at the bar (karaoke, drag shows, trivia, etc.). As long as youāre being respectful, I see no problem with it. But obviously donāt go there by yourself and definitely donāt try to pick someone up. Gay bars are a place for queer folks to be open and be themselves, without the prejudices of the cishet. Itās a bastion of safety for us. If you are invited as part of a group, then clearly you are believed to be capable of upholding the safety that they provide.
Also, I second the ally flag. Thereās one I saw on a house that was just the intersex pride progress flag with āAll are welcomeā or similar written on it. That would be a great flag to fly.
EDIT: Hereās the flag I saw:
And a little note on the word queer. Itās going to depend on who youāre talking to, but I canāt imagine myself ever having a problem with its use unless it were used as a slur, and itās very obvious when it is. I, and everyone I know, wouldnāt bat an eye at a cishet person using the term to refer to us if it were done in a respectful way. While itās a reclaimed word, I feel that it has been so aggressively reclaimed that itās okay for use by out-groups so long as itās in the right context, and has the right intention. Just my perspective.
Is it ok for a white person to shout āblack lives matterā even when they only/mostly have white friends? Of course it is! Because it shows solidarity. By you showing rainbow iconography you do exactly what is shown in the original post. You donāt have to affiliated with people to accept them for who they are and to show everyone that.
I hate saying all the letters (doesnāt roll of the tongue easily) so I usually say queer. Some might feel offended by it, as there are always people being offended by anything, but itās not like I try to exclude anyone by saying it.
I consider myself queer even though Iām attracted to the opposite sex. I have only a few gay and trans friends and a few non-white friends but I stand beside them and fight for them, and anyone one else wherever they are on the skin color spectrum, gender and sexuality spectrum, from whatever ethnicity they might me, so they can feel safe and accepted.
There are also some gay people I know that I despise, as they are toxic AF. But even for them I fight because the despise has nothing to do with them being gay and they have as much right as anyone else to be who they are.
I only judge people for their character and actions. I fight for equality, even for people I donāt like or hang out with.
Cis straight here but with family and friends in the communityā¦
In most things, context and execution matters.
I wear a rainbow āhe/himā pronoun pin and have a rainbow PopSocket on my phone, but I probably wouldnāt dye my hair non-binary colors since Iām not nonbinary.
Iāll refer to āqueer prideā and queer-friendly spaces, but I wouldnāt say that someone is āone of the queersā for instance.
Soā¦ I hope that āit dependsā is a helpful answer here. :-)
Itās also so that bigots who want to pick on marginalized people will think twice after noticing how many enemy flags are nearby.
