genie places you in a time loop where you always wish for that
After the wish a maga hat appears
You find that all of your “left” muscles have been paralyzed.
Don’t be racist against liberals like that
“Monkeys paw” genie I like it
“You’re absolutely right! Let’s begin with your first wish (truly your second 😜🦅😉🙈)”
ChatGPT genie
Just the bottom 6 panels will do as response.
You attempt to do this, but you find yourself unable to say you have three wishes, as that would make you wrong.
And you will always be right.
I read this in Baldur’s gate narrator’s voice
I read it in “the Stanly parable” voice
I remember playing Baldur’s gate on the GameCube but I forget what that sounded like.
You must gather your party before venturing forth.
honestly, not a bad power.
“next week lottery numbers are _______”
“The best thing I can do with my life right now is ___________”
“next week lottery numbers are… impossible for me to know”
“the best thing I can do with my life right now is … something I wish I knew”
The curse can be stubbornly unhelpful no matter what.
It won’t be easy as you’ll still have to guess the right thing, but you can probably make it work.
Only have to guess 10 times the number of digits though, quite doable for a lottery win!
Your poorly optimizing. With a linear search, you only need 9 per digit, a binary search will get it all done in like 4 or 5 guesses
I like your thinking, but a binary search would require us to know whether our guess is too high or low, no?
Which you can easily do. just try to say “The winning number ist lower than x”
Now thats some prompt engineering I can get behind! Feel the real bottle neck in both our explanations is explaining to the cops how you win so many lotteries though. That will be difficult without lying.
Batman
Username checks out. I’d expect nothing less from the DC world’s greatest detective.
You can make a random number generator and start reading the numbers, if you can say them, you are right, easy, you don’t even need to think at that point
I mean, with lotto numbers you could just start trying to count. Once you can say the number, you move on to the next one. Depending on how the wish works, you could even try just sounding things out.
The meaning of life is mmmmmmmmaaaaaaaaaasssssssssstuuuuurrrrrrrrrrb-“ Hmm… What would come after the B? “The meaning of life is masturbaaaa-“… Oh. OH.
but whatever I guess will be right.
No, no, no. You’ll be blocked when you try to guess the wrong thing. You still have to try guessing on your won.
still not hard, the first number is [strained noise],[strained noise],[strained noise],[strained noise],4.
FOUR
The lottery numbers haven’t been picked yet, so nothing would be correct until they get picked.
What if i say “next lottery numbers of [company that does it] [game name] will be ___ ___ ___ 7”?
Alternatively, “was” is past tense. Meaning everything you’ve said in the past was correct. But that has no bearing on the future. The wish would undoubtedly fuck up a lot of things in the past from little daily white lies compounding (or even bigger childhood lies that could have drastically altered the world) but wouldn’t have any impact on things going forwards.
A genie would find a way to twist the wish for maximum suffering. And having your 4 year old “watch me, I can fly” lie be true would have some long lasting implications. Likely even leading up to a paradox where you were never even able to make the wish in the first place, because some childhood lie ended up getting you maimed or killed before you ever rubbed the lamp.
The way this works in reality is with retrocausality. In the same sense that a molecule is controlled by a cell but still influences the cell, phenomequalitesselation is where God or similar conceptualization of retrocausal force (time travel) controls the unfolding of history, but our most human choices influence the strange attractor of the transcendental object at the end of the universe, so we have free will in a deterministic system, which is really illusory, like the self.
“If I wish for three more wishes, you will grant them with no catches.”
Keep doing this, over and over again, trying different strategies. It’s a way to test and validate genie loopholes (as you will be unable to state that if it’s wrong).
Though if the genie was smart, being “wrong” would be qualified to your own internal knowledge, I suppose. E.g. you can’t knowingly lie.
I feel like the proper response by the genie should be “yes, you’re right, what’s your first wish?”
You find you can no longer lie.
So, if I lie down, will I fly? Antigravity style?
But can you still be incorrect?
No, because you are always right.
Massive silver lining then. Having found a way to determine objective truth sounds pretty powerful and useful, even if it’s not what you originally wished for.
Learning good search algorithms will be your friend.
Can you imagine? A modern day oracle. Scientists would be lining up to ask questions about how the world worked and everything you said would be true.
It would be great for just confirming things that science suspected were true. Like, all the rare particles they’re trying to find with the Large Hadron Collider. They could just ask the oracle and learn all the particles they were missing, along with all the important data about them.
Best of all, if you couldn’t lie, and couldn’t be wrong (even if you didn’t know the answer) it could be used to “discover” things without ever having to go down blind alleys, or waste time with research that won’t bear fruit. For example, you could ask “is it possible for something like a spaceship to move faster than the speed of light?” If the answer is no, then you can write off working on that forever. If it’s yes, you could progressively ask questions to learn the theory you’d need to know to build a FTL ship. It could also finally put to bed whether time travel is possible, and how the paradoxes involved are resolved.
If FTL travel is possible, you could just ask the oracle where all the various aliens are, making it really easy to contact them (plus the oracle can tell you if it’s unsafe to contact them).
Also, since it was obviously possible to transform someone into an oracle, it should be possible to do that again. You can just ask the oracle the right questions needed to create a second, third, tenth, 1000th oracle. That way the one oracle isn’t always so busy, and if the first oracle dies, there are still many more.
My mouth letting me say “I’m always right but I’m still a massive idiot” is going to hit me like a brick
Don’t lose hope, while being an idiot you may claim out loud that you’re a genius
Bro ends up like Morty with the death-prediction crystal in his head: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YjepJlvkdKs
If you are lucky and it works that way. Maybe you simply cannot speak at all if you are not absolutely sure that a statement is correct.
You can still speak, just be very careful when making statements of fact. Learn to automatically tag “hypothetically speaking” and “I think” onto everything.
Predicting lottery numbers, proving mathematic formula, coming up with options with for ftl and cold fusion if there are any
Always being right without knowledge on your end could lead humanity forward a lot if you can prove your standing
Predicting lottery numbers, proving mathematic formula, coming up with options with for ftl and cold fusion if there are any
Most of these assume that the power will correct what you are thinking/going to say rather than preventing you from thinking /saying it. It’s still busted, but in its weakest form you want to be using it to make choices/giving advice.
Or whatever they say is right instead. Atomics are fake? No nuclear power. Oops there goes the sun because fissions gone.
Seems out of the scope of power for a genie, but I don’t know how to scale mythical creatures
Let’s just hope a flatearther doesn’t get it.
You might only be speaking in math, though.
Decide whether P = NP and get yourself an easy $1M. And another $5M for the other millenium prize problems.
You’ll have to come up with proofs for all problems though, but I guess that would be possibly by trying to say “<some math field> is required for the proof” over and over while getting more specific to narrow it down.
Exactly!
Reason #2801 why vacuous truths are awesome.
“When I first met you, you promised to give me all your money” is a true statement because I have never actually met you.
Just be careful not to test this in court.
something being “first” implies existence and the statement is wrong if the something does not exist.
“everytime i’ve met yetAnotherUser, they promised me all their money” on the other hand is true, because we never met and existence of a meeting is not required.
or to look at it in a more mathy way:
“For all X y is true” is false if an x exists for which y is false, if no X exists no X exists for which y is false and thus “For all X y is true” is a true statement, but your statement is “there is an X_i from the set X=X_j for which y is true” which is false if no X_i is in the set.
That depends on whether you interpret “when” + past tense in English to also assert the reality of the temporal clause. The interpretation which allows the vacuous truth is, in my opinion, not even technically correct (by correct I mean aligns with actual spoken usage). It would amount to formalizing the sentence as
For all meetings between us, if said meeting is at a past time and it’s the first meeting (i.e. before all other meetings), you promised at that time to give me all your money.
Which is indeed vacuously true, if there have been no past meetings, or even if the meetings aren’t well-ordered in time :). On the surface this is a perfectly good interpretation, but it doesn’t really align with real usage (though I would love to see an example of “when” + past tense being used this way, e.g. in a legal document).
On the other hand, most people would interpret “when” + past to assert that the event actually happened, which in this context means
I have met you before, a “first meeting” can be identified, and at that first meeting, you promised to give me all your money.
Or even more formally
There exist meetings between us at a past time, there exists such a unique meeting which is first, and, for all meetings, if said meeting is indeed the first, you promised me at that time to give me all your money.
And this can be reduced to
There exists a unique past meeting between us such that [it’s first, and you promised to give me all your money at that time].
I think this interpretation is most closely aligned with how “when” is actually used in practice. “If” feels different, though. It can act as simple logical implication, logical equivalence, or anything in between, so it may be more interesting to study. Also note that all of this doesn’t apply to “when” + simple present, which acts very similarly to “if”.
Damn it, I was trying to go for the “When” + simple present to check whether my statement worked.
I thought:
“When 1 equals 2, blablabla” is always true, therefore [my statement above] works as well.
But I should’ve thought “When 1 equaled 2, …” which doesn’t sound true anymore.
That is to say: Fuck grammatical tenses!
I love you
Monkey’s paw genie: you physically can’t verbalize that you have 3 wishes left when you only have 2.
Most monkeys paw answer are “granted, X bad thing happens” “real” monkeys paw would grant it in some twisted way
No the pen 15 club is that way ---->
This pen… Is ROYAL BLUUUUUEEEEEEE
I have 4
THERE ARE FOUR WISHES!
I can pee in any urinal I want, thanks to all the spiritual work I did. Pooping in a urinal is still hard when someone is around, though.
Genie is looking at you like this because it’s weird watching only the right half of a human form sentences without issues. It’s also weird that the person didn’t seem fazed by the removal of their left half.
It’s more existentially terrifying if the wish operates differently. Instead of adjusting reality to make your words true, it simply constrains you to only be able to speak true and correct statements. So when you try and speak, “no, I have three wishes left,” what comes out is “I have two wishes left.”
In particularly powerful forms, this wish could be used to solve metaphysical and existential questions. You literally can only speak the Truth. Want to know the day you die? Pick a random date and try to say, “I will die on ____ from ____.” Your actual date and cause of death will come out instead.
I mean, I get what you are saying, but also like every other comment is talking about how the wish goes wrong by not letting you speak something that isn’t true and I just wanted to explore other ways the genie could “monkey’s paw” the wish. ie removing the wisher’s left half. “They’ll be all right.”
That or he started with 4 wishes
Seeing the comments, and generally all the monkey paw arrangements, I remember the genie in that one strip where he clarifies all the various things that needs to be considered when the person wished they could fly.
I personally feel that he is the best one, irrespective of how tedious it would be.
Your IQ drops 80 points while deep seated feelings of racism bloom in your soul. A Red hat appears on your head. The Genie says “Now you are always right”. You immediately turn your self into ICE since you are an immigrant. The monkeys paw has struck again
arrested development https://youtu.be/zadJoBqPQVc?t=214
Granted, the genie produces a large sword and slices your perfectly down the middle. The left half of you burns away to dust. “You are now… always right,” he says to your right half as you flop to the ground.
“You will be right for the rest of your life.”
“I wish you had left me alone!”
The genie rematerializes your left half. Now your right half evaporates and fades to dust. “You are now left alone.”
- Tales from Bad Pun Dad Joke Genie
But now the right half has a right half… Zeno him!
You somehow propose this to the genie through half a larynx, he nods briefly, before slicing again, and again, and again with increasing precision, until you are reduced to a single proton.
“I’ve read Zeno too,” the genie replies.
Stupid post duplication…
