Note: unless youāre deliberately obscuring someoneās gender and know their preferred pronouns, use their preferred pronouns.
Note: unless youāre deliberately obscuring someoneās gender and know their preferred pronouns, use their preferred pronouns.
While your feelings are completely valid, I think most people experience the opposite. Even back when my preferred pronouns were only she/her, being he/himād felt like a punch to the face, and they/them just slid right past me. Maybe that was just a sign that Iād end up being okay with she/they (at least from cis people, my preference around other queer folks is pup/it).
Oh yeah for sure I am not typical. I might be closer to enby than trans woman, idk. I see other trans women be so sure and confident, like āI am a woman and Iām going to make the changes to bring my body and appearance in line with thatā and Iām over here uncomfortable calling myself a woman, slowly following the trail of happiness breadcrumbs that are leading me to being a woman. I think I dislike they/them so much because it plays into my insecurity and doubt. I like she/her but I donāt mind he/him cause that still feels like who I am at the moment, even if thatās not who I want to be. They/them just feels like people walking on eggshells around me afraid to offend me and unknowingly doing the exact opposite. In the end it doesnāt really matter, the rest of my life is far more painful than gender problems
tbh i feel almost exactly the same way (though iām probably not enby).
she/her feels dangerous, because if i act or am treated as femme then the transphobes in my life might start to suspect me. they/them just feels totally wrong, itās not who i am. he/him at least feels safe, because it wonāt raise any suspicionsā¦
AND just like you, gender is probably gonna be the least painful part of the next decade for me lol