As a consequence, have a person’s kids taken away? Or should there be any consequences?
****PLEASE READ
I’m straightforward and don’t want to give any ‘fluff’ So I don’t know how else to ask this question without it sounding rage baity.
This isn’t a gotcha or trap to argue with anyone I feel and believe I can learn something of value from people I disagree with. It is interesting to know why you disagree and what reasons make you feel x y and z about things.
I’m here to listen, not judge or throw around name calling or fight with you. You feel the way you do for whatever reason, and I want to know a little more about why you do and that is it.
I would like for everyone to feel confident voicing how they feel about this question. I don’t care if I disagree with you. Fighting with you is not how I’d like to spend my evening. I’m sure you don’t either.
I might ask follow ups like, “Why is it that you feel that way?” Or “can you tell me a little bit more” so I can understand your point of view better. And that’s it.
If that feels too much or you don’t want to. Totally fine. Just ignore my comment to you.
Thanks for your time.
Kids don’t generally get transitioned. They instead get put on puberty blockers until they are older and ready to transition mentally and emotionally.
I think it’s definitely child abuse to refuse to do this when a medical professional recommends it. You’re probably doing lifelong emotional damage to your child if you refuse them care they need to live their happiest life.
Taking a child from their biological parent/s is a big deal though. Those kids can go through even worse scenarios in foster care, so that’s a tough call. Each case is different, so I wouldn’t say that I would support this across the board.
Thank you for responding. I appreciate it. Follow-up question: If I may, what cases or circumstances would you support the child being taken away?
Doesn’t matter what your response is, I’m not gunna argue with you. I’m genuinely curious and would like to know that’s it.
You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to.
Thank you
I would probably support it if they were being physically or emotionally abused, but the devil is in the details. Forced foster care is not a scenario where I would just say that child will definitely be better off in than with their family. As sad as it is, some kids end up in worse positions if their foster parents are also terrible people.
Every case is different, and I’m never going to advocate for a blanket solution for every child.
Thank you. Yea, I’ve heard bad things too about foster care. It’s really a sad reality for some. Especially kids who have downs .I watched a documentary where they put the girls on downs on birth control because they get raped :/ that’s…awful…
Thank you for all your input. Hope you have a good one
They should be able to take blockers until they decide but they must also as a condition be testdriving what its like to do other gender stuff (dress, name, vocal, etc).
The parents should also be forensically examined to make sure they are not simply capitalizing and pressuring the kid to conform or branch out in this way. Lots of Munchausen losers out there who want to be special or birth special or get a one-way ticket to a vicarious disabillity case they can charge rent to in perpetuity.
I’m a left-wing socialist before anybody questions my bona fides, I just have way too much experience with “parents” who want a basic income from their abillity to fuck and birth children they then enslave to handle all the rest of life’s burdens.
The parents should also be forensically examined to make sure they are not simply capitalizing and pressuring the kid to conform or branch out in this way
Trans people are losing their rights, facing abuse, and dying in greater numbers than ever. The idea that parents are forcing their kids to transition as part of some trend is part of an active misinformation campaign behind the people trying to create wedges to undermine trans folks ability to access care.
You may be a left wing socialist, but you’re parroting right wing, anti trans wedge tactics
They should have access to blockers
Was the first thing I said. You can wind down, I’m not against anything but rhetoricians giving fiery nothing-burger speeches encouraging rash expediation of something that requires no such thing or to be done in any such fashion.
What is the rush if they are able to access puberty blockers and what are you seriously proposing?
Is this medicine? What is the damn rush once the hormones/anti-hormones are prescribed to delay the decisions requiring a more mature and set mind?
All the arguments you can literally make from the other side. Perhaps the rush is artificially imposed from + on both sides and a product of a polarized debate that is non-referential (responsive) to any medical or psychological process or the focus on the child’s health/wellness that would otherwise be organic to the overall effort.
You are not a dr. I am not a dr. Lets listen to drs but also ensure that kids aren’t being forced into something that is not them and reduce the impediments to being evaluated and going through the process so the right people are treated and others are given an off-ramp where it would be inappropriate or detrimental.
I’m saying “let drs figure it out” but also we need to learn from the successes and failures and if there’s any sign of parental coercion, control needs to be removed from the parent and invested in an arbiter who is required to be responsive to the health and safety of the child. That will be all
What is the rush if they are able to access puberty blockers and what are you seriously proposing?
Is this medicine? What is the damn rush once the hormones/anti-hormones are prescribed to delay the decisions requiring a more mature and set mind?
Ah, the puberty double standard returns to haunt us all. Trans kids going on HRT is not somehow more dangerous or damaging than cis kids going through puberty. If you find a 14 year old trans kid on HRT to be more disturbing than a cis 14 year old undergoing puberty that’s pretty much a you problem, because both can and will have permanent effects.
Doctors already know to do this on a case by case basis. This isn’t news to anyone. Kids aren’t forced on HRT. The idea that doctors don’t ever speak to the kid without the parent present, extensively, about what they want out of HRT and why is basically a paranoid fantasy that has been sold to you by right wingers. Take it or leave it, that’s what it is.
Right. And the effects of one of those paths has been debugged over the course of about a hundred million years. The other like what 50 years?
If you don’t see the difference in the danger there, you’re not trying or you’re not good at seeing.
You’re also saying that parents should be given the 3rd degree and implying that many parents actively force their children through transition as a fad.
That’s not something that happens in any meaningful way, but creating a situation where parents are grilled and doubted for supporting their trans children actively hurts trans kids.
I was pushed into being things I didn’t want to be by my parents.
edit: And I believed I was those things until massive therapy in adulthood finally helped me get in touch with my true self
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Yes, the right does, in fact hammer the point home about detransitioning. I will not deny that.
In your opinion, is there, or what could be a ‘good’ middle ground on the issue of some people who detransition.? Do you think there ever will be middle ground on it?
I watched a talk with Blair white and some others who are trans talj about detransitioning. I don’t remember the name of the YouTube channel that hosted it.
However, I can find it if you’d like for further clarification.
Anyway, that seemed to be the general consensus on detransitioning. That we don’t know that much about it, and the only thing we can do is learn from it and add it to research.
In your opinion, do you think that is the only option we’ll have ?
Thanks again for answering
the right does, in fact hammer the point home about detransitioning.
Social detransition can be done by anyone at any time they like.
Medical transition though has one of the lowest regret rates of any medical procedure people go through. More people regret life saving cancer treatments than regret transition surgeries for example. More people regret plastic surgery than regret transition surgeries. Fill in the blank. More people regret surgery than transiton surgery will be true for pretty much any surgery, that is how low regret rates are.
“The right” hammers home outright lies and misrepresentation, because their goal isn’t to get facts out there or to encourage valuable discussion, their goal is to make it harder for trans folk to access medical care, and muddying the waters is part of that.
So far in this thread I’ve seen you claim there’s less regret for transition surgery than for:
- knee replacement
- life saving cancer treatments
- plastic surgery
- “fill in the blank” (meaning what? everything?)
Where do you get these numbers from?
They should be able to take blockers until they decide but they must also as a condition be testdriving what its like to do other gender stuff (dress, name, vocal, etc).
Thank you for answering my question, appreciate your response. So for this part, would you consider any age appropriate for a child to get on blockers? Or do you feel more like there should be an age limitation? I know that’s a hot issue, so I’m just curious what your thoughts on that are.
For the rest of your comment. If I think you’re talking about what I think you are, then I do agree with that.
Are you at all thinking of Jazz and her mother? If so, do you have any thoughts on that specific case at all?
Thanks again
At the end of the day, any bill that tries to codify or restrict any of this needs to be converted into a funding bill so it can be studied more and the political bullshit limited.
It is clearly living rent-free in many psychos minds so it needs to pay rent by converting all their restrictions that promise nothing and demand everything that conveniently also drive up the cost and legal ramifications of the whole thing or make it downright impossible and punish those who seek to pursue it into funding that eases the psychos minds by promising funding and research to further investigate what it is, who needs it, and how to optimize the process so it is done properly, given to those who need it and not just want to try on different costumes or are facing coercion, and that no politicians need to be involved or say anythjng about it at all like cancer or adhd or anything else more established
The medical field needs to be responsible for applying evidence-based medicine on the entire discourse. Any politician who tries to divide or dictate this policy needs to be
- sued to oblivion and be personally liable
- courts need to strike it down every time as whatever they need to designate is as to illustrate the intrusion of the political into the personal and physical body rights likely enshrined or should be enshrined already
- Trans stuff is not a social issue that should be up for debate. It is a rare medical thing and everybody should get their damn paws off it and let medicine dictate how we proceed.
- if people who went thru it regret it, they are free to express that and add to the knowledge base but this shit where right-wing eats it up and tries to destroy other people in oncoming generations who actually need it and likely will face irreversible harm if they are forced to undergo regular puberty that can be delayed with the proper meds until they make a more solid determination—that is beyond fucking evil and that+person should be struck the fuck down
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“If a doctor determines a patient needs a specific treatment and then the parents deny it or the law withholds it, is it a form of abuse?”
Yes.
Appreciate your response thank you
!00% disagree that a single doctor’s recommendation should ever be required to be followed, because sometimes doctors are wrong. That is why there are second opinions and ultimately it is the patient’s choice even if two doctors agree. People with extremely rare conditions being forced to have a specific treatment that they know isn’t working would be abuse.
That is why there are second opinions and ultimately it is the patient’s choice even if two doctors agree.
I 100% agree with this, but it wasn’t the question.
The question was whether parents can override the choice of patient when the patient’s choice is supported by a doctor’s recommendation. And more specifically, whether parents can deny a reversible puberty delaying hormone treatment against the patient’s wishes and force the patient to undergo puberty against their will.
!00% disagree that a single doctor’s recommendation should ever be required to be followed, because sometimes doctors are wrong. That is why there are second opinions and ultimately it is the patient’s choice even if two doctors agree
Yes, but I didn’t want to get into all that because what type of insufferable pedant would demand so much detail in a casual forum? We can assume this. We’re not writing a thesis on medical care ffs.
being forced to have a specific treatment
Good thing no one is talking about being forced.
Redditeur detected. Blocking engaged.
I agree with that notion, but is transitioning something a doctor would say a child needs? How young are we even talking here? A teen that is just a few years or so under 18 or a toddler? Almost every time I hear about children transitioning, it’s a strawman argument proposed by transphobes which are immediately dismissed with “that’s not happening, tho.”
But they’ll continue to whatabout you and JAQ you off regardless, so I maintain that even if there were circumstances calling for transition, it would be none of my damn business anyway.
In Canada, you can start transitioning as a teenager, but that’s almost 100% hormonal treatments which aren’t permanent.
There’s therapy involved. There’s physicians involved.
More people regret knee replacement than gender affirming surgery.
In Canada, kids aren’t going through irreversible surgery. It just doesn’t happen. It’s a years long process, so toddlers would never even be considered because it takes years. The toddler wouldn’t be a toddler by the time surgery was scheduled.If you read, the standards of care for trans people, you’ll see that the medical establishment doesn’t agree with irreversible surgery before adulthood. I’m not saying that it doesn’t happen in other countries, but it goes against the international standard.
If you want some references I can help, but I encourage you to look for some of the primary sources.
There’s a ridiculous amount of misinformation out there regarding this topic. It can be really hard to see through that.
Could it also just be that many who aren’t really informed and just kinda looking at it from the outside consider hormonal treatments “transitioning?” Up until your comment, I’ve thought that was still a part of it since my sister is trans but all she has done to this point is HRT and psychological therapy and those drugs changed her physical appearance significantly. Is it only considering transitioning when you have surgery?
The whole “transition = surgery” thing is not only bs imo, but also what historically tends to be how usa beaurocratically gatekeeps people, especially in conservative states. They won’t greenlight a change of name/gender on birth certificates without it, for example. Transition starts in different ways, and it all depends on the person. It’s social, mental, and physical, and not always in that order, and not always all of the above. I knew I didn’t want the puberty I got, and didn’t bother really addressing it until my 20s. It’s different for everyone. (Non-binary person here, for context)
Maybe we shouldn’t use the term if it’s so ambiguous, and instead refer to unambiguous things such as surgery, hormone treatment, dressing differently, voice training, etc
Which hormones specifically are you asserting don’t have long-term effects in their variation during teenage years? That seems to conflict with my understanding of the role of hormones in development.
That’s one hell of a question. I’m a cis-gendered gay man who has been active in LGBT rights since the days of ACT UP, for context.
My honest feeling is that it should be evaluated on a case by case basis. I think that it can be a sign of abuse - trans children face incredible rates of physical and emotional abuse, and there are clusters of behavior that can be used to identify them. This would be what I’d call an indicator.
I think that parents should be supporting their children with regard to their gender identity and sexuality. I think it is vital to the mental wellbeing of the child, and non-support can have consequences that last for years and decades including things like changing how their brains are wired, which changes their probability of self-harm, substance abuse, and so on. These are very real, clinical outcomes.
However, removing a child from a home also has very real consequences. The foster care system is also quite challenging for children and can also be associated with long lasting clinical outcomes. It might not improve the child’s life to remove them, even if their home life is sub-optimal.
So my proposal is that the situation be investigated by appropriately trained personnel. If there are additional aspects of emotional or physical abuse, then they’d have to make a very difficult call. Otherwise, I think something like family counseling would be preferred.
trans children face incredible rates of physical and emotional abuse
Has anyone done studies on time sequencing of this? I think many on the right fear that gender dysphoria could be a result of abuse, and not a naturally-occurring thing, and therefore a poor signal on which to make life decisions.
Thank you for your reply.
Dumb question. But since this is a very specific topic, can you explain more about what abuse from family towards their transgender children looks like?
Sounds like a no brainer. Abuse is Abuse. But maybe family members are doing things they don’t consider to be Abusive. That’s not excusing Abuse in this scenario.
Let me provide an example.
Some people think taking your kid or spouse to those Christian ‘make you not gay anymore’ camps, isnt Abusive.
I think doing something like that is not helpful. Only speaking of children and not adults, but I can see how that is Abusive.
I’m going to be talking about abuse here, just as a warning for anyone reading this.
I absolutely believe conversion therapy is abusive. I’d like to answer this followup in two parts.
First, I think that conversion therapy should be illegal. I believe that the companies and organizations hosting those services should be shut down and that the people operating them should be investigated and prosecuted if their practices constitute defined definitions of abuse, such as physical punishment, forced isolation, and so on. The organizations sponsoring them should be fined and dissolved. That’s going after one end of the problem.
The second one is looking at the parents. It doesn’t matter whether they think it’s abusive or not, any more than a man who beats his wife because she deserves it thinks he’s just giving her discipline. It’s abuse.
However, this is another one of those indicators I was talking about. It’s part of a pattern of behaviors, but again I think we’d need more information on the parents’ conduct to their kid to establish whether removing them from the home would result in an improvement in their life going forward. It’s not like we have a clone army of Jonathan van Nesses to rehome these poor kids with.
Abuses that I’ve seen LGBT kids suffer under include withholding of food, physical abuse, and what amounts to forced incarceration. I’ve spoken to kids who have had their clothes physically torn from their bodies, resulting in injury. One of the most common ones you see is children being thrown out onto the streets. I think that under those circumstances, the state should be empowered to act. That doesn’t necessarily mean taking the child from their parents, but it might. There’s also things like court mandated counseling and required followup visits from child services. Any intervention has to be proportional to the facts of the given case.
Thanks a lot for expanding on all that. Yea I don’t agree with conversion camps. like at all if your kid feels a certain type of way, they just do. Some people may be disappointed that their kid comes out as this or that.
But it is what it is. It might not be what you want as a parent but that is not for you to decide.
I mean, if knew someone considering conversion therapy? I’d have a sit down with them. Because I don’t agree with that either.
Anyway, thank you for going into more detail ! Have a good one
If the child is suffering from severe gender Dysphoria, there would be legal grounds for it, yes. The legal definition of child neglect in my country (FL, US) does not require any specific pattern of behavior. Parents are expected to attend to the mental health of thier children, and trans care specifically has been introduced to mitigate suicide risk. It can be a serious mental health issue.
The principal question is: would it be reported? Plenty of parents abuse thier LGBT kids, causing permanent mental issues and even death, and get away with it. The likelihood that anyone would identify and report this hypothetical trans kid being denied care is low.
Should there be a specific law? I don’t think so. However, should we train school officials, social workers, and medical staff to recognize and act on this sort of abuse? Yes. This would lead to better outcomes (the parent’s behavior being corrected).
Thank you for your input. As I’ve said in another comment, abuse is abuse.
But in your opinion, is there something people should be looking for specifically?
Some consider denying to acknowledge their children by their perfered pro noun abuse. Is this for example a form of abuse?
Asking that for clarification. I just feel like abuse towards trans kids from their family looks a specific way and I’m not trying to lump it in along with other forms of abuse.
It doesn’t matter what your opinion is on this and how you feel about it I’m not going to argue with you. I am just curious to know what you think and that is all. You don’t have to answer if you don’t feel like it thanks again
As others have said, the full, medical transition of children isn’t really a thing. Therefor my response is entirely limited to the psychological and limited medical support parents should give to a child while the child matures to the point where full medical transition can then be possible.
That said, I would conditionally consider it child abuse if a parent has the means to help their child mitigate their gender dysphoria issues, but refuses to do so. Where I would not consider it abuse is when there are major financial (i.e. the parents are poor), logistical (they live in a remote area with limited/no internet connectivity), or safety issues (the child or families lives become jeopardized should others in their community learn of the child’s apparent gender change) that would prohibit an otherwise willing parent from doing all that can be done to help their child in this regard. I would still expect a parent to do what they can, but if they cannot help the child, say for example receive all the necessary psychiatric help and/or medications then I would not necessarily fault the parents.
Blatant JAQing off is blatant.
WTF are you talking about? I see zero evidence that this is what OP is doing. It can’t be the case that every time someone asks a question that you don’t like, they must be doing so in bad faith. That’s a fallacy.
t can’t be the case that every time someone asks a question that you don’t like, they must be doing so in bad faith. That’s a fallacy.
Lmmfao, says the person literally dismissing a reality they don’t like by calling it a fallacy… 😂
If the blatant dog whistles and phrasing of not only the question but several of their answers isn’t enough, the fact that OP insists they’re interested in hearing opinions opposed to their own, and then engages at length with those giving non transphobic answers (while upvoting the transphobes) should be.
You not seeing through their thin veil (never mind a well known tactic right out of the bigots playbook) means just that - that you can’t/won’t see, not that it isn’t there.
You choosing to defend them at this point and despite their now clear intentions means you’re either too naive and/or wilfully ignorant to be calling out anyone for using “fallacies”, or you agree with them and are also, like OP, trying to hide behind a thin veil of “civility”… Either way, you’re both full of shit… ¯\(ツ)/¯
Amen dude.
Categorizing the asking of questions as toxic behavior is an ultra sketchy and transparent attempt to avoid examination of one’s own beliefs. At best. At worst, it’s an attempt to create a culture of silence and isolation in the world. Fuck everything about that.
Questions are valuable. The most valuable questions are probably the ones you least want to be asked, and the people who make you uncomfortable are value to have in your life.
Sorry you feel that way. I’m interested in anything else you’d like to add pertaining to the topic, though.
Have a good night
You asked a shitty question and are clearly looking for a specific response.
I’m looking for your responses. I’ll even take it a step further. I’ve commented on a few. But I’m not going to ask people who agree with my side of things anymore.
I’m only gunna to acknowledge yall I’m not looking for people whom I agree with.
I already know where to go to find those answers. That’s not what I’m looking for here
My response is that you are opposed to trans kids and trying to start arguments by pretending to support trans kids by using a vague wording that suggests surgery when that is generally not recommended prior to them turning 18.
The more you spit on the people trying to connect with you, the more bitter you will get.
Is it obvious for you that as punishment a child should be taken away from parents in any and all cases?
A child doesn’t have the capacity to foresee the consequences of such a decision.
IMO you as a parent should respect their wishes when it comes to clothing, hairstyle, etc. no matter what gender stereotype it follows or which sex the child was born at. In an ideal society a child could grow up and be treated like the gender they identify with even if it doesn’t fit their physical body. If they still want to transition upon reaching adulthood, that’s fine of course.
Actually, in an ideal society, sex and gender simply shouldn’t matter at all, legally. There should be no gender assigned to your identity and no law should make a difference between men and women. Special protections and rules must of course still be made for people who are pregnant, or victims of certain types of abuse, and requirements for some roles in the army can be set to a standard that most women wouldn’t reach, if that is necessary for the role.
Source: I desperately wanted to be a girl when I was 5. Now I’m an adult heterosexual cis man, married to a woman, and very glad that I can become a father.
Actually, in an ideal society, sex and gender simply shouldn’t matter at all, legally.
a) we’re not in an ideal society, and b) some forms of dysphoria have nothing to do with gender, and are related to the physicality of the bodies we inhabit, and even in an “ideal” society, trans folk would still need to navigate this.
Source: I desperately wanted to be a girl when I was 5
Source, I desperately wanted to be a girl when I was 5. Because of the ignorance/transphobia of society, I was forced through a puberty that has forever changed my body in ways that still bring me pain and discomfort decades later. I was finally able to access social and medical transition later in life, but doing so has had huge financial and social consequences that have set me on the back foot compared to my peers, and it still didn’t bring me the childhood I was denied.
IMO you as a parent should respect their wishes when it comes to clothing, hairstyle, etc. no matter what gender stereotype it follows or which sex the child was born at
“I had a single experience when I was 5 so now I feel like I can speak over and on behalf of trans people about them not really knowing what’s best for them”
When a person says “I experienced this”, that does not imply “I can speak for everyone who has experienced this”.
It simply doesn’t. That’s too big a jump, from what was said, to something else not said. Why do that? It doesn’t help communication at all.
Do You Think Refusing To Transition A Child, Should Be Considered Child Abuse?
It shouldn’t be “considered” child abuse.
It is child abuse.
Nah
Thank you for your input. Would you be interested in explaining your reasoning? If you don’t want to, that’s fine, just ignore this comment
Absolutely not, I believe helping a child transition is child abuse.
Would you be ok explaining further on why you think this? Just ignore my comment if you’re not interested. Thank you for the reply
I don’t think children should be able to decide to transition when they are at an age where their brain is not even close to developed. At a later age if they still feel the same way I don’t disagree with it, but when they are children I don’t think it should be an option for them.
That’s not what transition means for children. Children don’t access hormonal or surgical transition. The only medical transition they can access is puberty blockers that let them pause puberty for exactly the reason you’re asking for, which is to let them reach an age where they can make choices about their future
Forcing a child with a clear sense of their gender identity to be socialized and mature as something other is child abuse.