I’m always more concerned by the 30% of humans that don’t think they could take a rat more than the delusional people myself.
They might be assuming you get weapons or whatever, but 30% of people don’t even have to self confidence to just flop around on the ground for a bit.
Chimpanzee is way too high Jesus Christ. It goes from reasonable shot at winning but succumbing to your wounds later to 20x stronger than you and smart enough to go for the sharp bits
Yeah, my first thought was that a king cobra should be higher than chimpanzee. Not because king cobras would necessarily be easy, but because it would be possible.
Beating a chimp would depend on whether a human hit to its head could knock it out or at least stun it, as well as getting such a blow in immediately at the start. But my guess is that their skulls are built differently enough that such a hit would just motivate it more.
If people knew more about chimpanzees, they’d be right down there with bears and elephants. I would 100% prefer to take on a wolf or a kangaroo, taking Aussies at their word about how insane roos are, over a chimp. The chimp probably has just as high a K/D as the bear or elephant, but it’s going to teabag you while wearing the face it ripped off your skull before you go out.
Kangaroos do this move where they try to kick the balls off their male opponents. No thanks.
Still better than a chimp
have you seen their nails? their kick can easily disembowel you.
Or disemball you in this instance.
I have. It’s terrifying.
At the same time people also murder the fuck out of chimps with fairly primitive tools and have for a long time, what chimps really got on us is that crazy murder energy that you only really see in humans with the aid of PCP. Wouldn’t wanna fight one but in theory its about equivelent to fighting an unbelivably pissed off human.
That’s over 2 terabytes of adults! That’s a lot!
Why do 5-10% of Americans think they can beat a Gorilla Lion Elephant or Grizzly Bear? Note beat in a fight as in engage successfully in combat. What do they think you are even going to do vs the Grizzly or elephant again?
Also chimps should be way further down on that list. You’d have a better chance against the wolf.
americans are just tougher thats why 🇺🇲🇺🇲🇺🇲🇺🇲
No wonder the Brits lost the 13 Colonies, mfs can’t even take a goose.
This is one of those moments when you can immediately identify who has and who has not regularly interacted with the animal in question
I know right, do geese not exist in England? Or do they have special English geese that weigh 50 pounds and lack wringable necks?
this is kinda like mocking Aussie magpies because you only know UK magpies.
Geese in the UK are all the giant cunt species
A goose is a gangster swan, and everyone knows that they break arms.
Swans are meaner than geese by far. You don’t wanna be anywhere within sight of a swan.
Drop those bars!
A goose will back off of you give it a boot to the chest. I’ve fought off a couple of geese and a goose-sized duck and a chest-kick is the best move. Works best of you are able to wind up and use the side of your foot like you’re trying to score a sweet goal in soccer, but a regular punt gets the job done too.
A kick or a stick is all anyone needs!
We just took a break to watch you all fight those grizzlies.
Would enjoy watching some tough guys try and fight anything from chimp on down.
“Yeah, bro, I can totally fkn take an elephant!”
I mean I’ve been thinking about how to fight geese for a long long time now. I’ve got grudges.
Think Mario 64 bowser fights, only you grab the goose by the neck instead of the tail. Though that is to fight for a draw.
Don’t stick your neck out; I promise it’s not good for the gander
the dogs you have to worry about is the ones that are known to bite or aggresive.
Right, don’t fuck around with Dachshunds…
TIL 10% of Americans would beat an elephant in a fist fight.
It doesn’t say fist fight it says fight. An mg42 some ammo a and a bit of distance are going to win against almost any animal hence the whole multiple extinction events directly caused by predation by humanity.
It’s right there on the top of the graph.
“Which of the following animals, if any, do you think you could beat in a fight if you were unarmed?”
It would be difficult to fight anything without arms. I guess you could just do roundhouse kicks but arms would be much more useful.
Thats why the brits have an advantage, all that.soccer helps their kick attacks.
Americans obviously overrate themselves by what ever percent they think they can beat an elephant, bear, or gorrila.
Correct, my whole point is it’s vague enough to take advantage of so it’s not actually indicative of much aside from malicious compliance.
I feel like unarmed is not vague enough to allow for machine guns lol
“if you were unarmed”
I’m unarmed, the fellas i hire may not be but that isn’t the question.
You were super fun on the playground I’m sure
Gotta play the grey. I could beat them in a fight by hiring a mercenary or team of mercenaries.
I’m still unarmed, I could even be involved in the fight and still not be armed and win the fight.
Similarly the definition of unarmed varies wildly by culture and language so first let’s define unarmed and then we can decide how and where to play the language of the question.
This is how you get kicked out of a game of DnD
Wouldn’t be the first time no, lawyering language is generally not a popular thing to do.
You aren’t lawyering anything, you’re just refusing to take a very simple question at face value
That’s literally lawyering, theres a reason the supreme court determines if something is too vague.
Unarmed fight.
Yeah that doesn’t say I can’t hire someone who is not does it say I can’t get 30000 unarmed dudes to help. It’s vague so why not play the game I’m fairly sure that’s likely why the answers look so weird.
Emus would like a word with you.
They lost the emu war was lost because of incompetence. They had a machine gun they didn’t know how to use which jammed and they couldnt figure out how to clear it and then they just gave up until the next incompetent attempt.
I’m good down to Eagle, and then it’s straight losses.
Eagles can be huge, fly and have fuckin razor sharp meat hooks for fingers.
The challenge is to win, not walk away unscathed.
Sure, us Americans are obviously delusional, but can we talk about the fact that almost half of all brits think they would lose to a goose? They’re 20 pounds, have no teeth or claws, and their bones are hollow. Have a little confidence, guys, I’m sure you can take poultry in a fight.
And the fight would be harder than against a cat.
Wtf are those people smoking? Have they ever seen a domesticated cat in severe distress??
I would rather fight any bird than a cat.
I generally agree, but maybe not all birds:
Cats have FIVE pointy ends and an extremely powerful will to live.
Actually, this does explain why all those brits in Untitled Goose Game let the goose walk all over them.
Less than 80% of people think they could take on a rat in a life or death battle. You could literally pass out and fall on it and probably crit it.
Not everyone is a 15-55 year old able bodied person.
A good chunk of the population is disabled and mobility impaired. Large swaths of the population are elderly.
But if you miss you wake up with no face
They may not technically have teeth but they have a serrated beak.
You clearly don’t understand that British geese run in gangs and are shanked to their teeth.
Almost half of Brits might not be as able-bodied as you might imagine.
I’m more interested in the rat fight, because I had my fair share of mouse encounters and rats are bigger, more dangerous and just as quick.
The rat one would depend very much on what shoes I had on.
If I had my work boots on, Remy’s getting punted across the room.
I think of it more for the rat, that if it wants to it’ll fuck me up, but I’m more likely to kill it before it kills me.
I mean, Americans have huge obesity rates, but apparently, nearly 20% of us think we can take a chimp. I’m sure a rat couldn’t kill me, but I have no idea how I would catch one with my bare hands, so that feels like a draw to me.
Might be easier to catch if its literally gnawing at you and attacking you.
Most people would consider their opponent running away to be a victory.
I kinda assumed this was a cage-match, fight-to-the-death kind of thing. I think most animals would rather run away than fight you, unless you’re encroaching on their territory or look like an easy meal.
Geese are terrifying though
If you know you will fight it, might as well just go for it and grab it’s neck or something
Have you ever been attacked by one of those demon spawns? They will not stop attacking you, you can boot it and it will just get up and continue, I’d rather fight a kangaroo, at least when you punch one of them in the face they back off, goose just gets angrier.
kangeroos are pretty jacked though.
Yeah, but you crack one right in the face and they second guess you, they’re lower body fighters.
Like, I’m not talking about fighting a big red kangaroo that’s built like Brock Lesnar, just your normal grey kangaroo.
But even then those Brock Lesnaroos don’t like getting punched in the face.
Only punch one if they start it tho, which they probably will, but don’t be a dick.
I had a goose come at me once. I held my jacket open like it was a giant set of wings and he ran like hell. I was not impressed.
Huh, a jacket you say. Well looks like it’s round fucking 15 time goose!
Jacket? Have you tried a hammer?
Yeah, goose stole it and started hitting me with it.
“Oh shit!” -goose
Yes but you can kill a goose easily. The only reason they are a nuisance is because most people don’t want the heat of killing them.
MARIO STOMP!
We can all beat the fuck out of cobras. Just sayin
Yup. I mean, you might not survive with this method, but if you just get it to bite your foot (assuming you have shoes) you could just stomp it immediately afterwards.
Similar story for the eagle - it will definitely leave gashes in you, but so long as you flail your arms and get one decent hit on it (enough to get it out of the air), you would be able to cripple it decently fast.
I’m realizing I don’t really like thinking about hypothetically beating up animals, though. If they’re fighting you, they’re either scared for their lives, defending their young, or starving to death.
It would probably be a pyrrhic victory though.
Yeah if there’s no anti-venom, this does seem like the kind of fight where just everybody dies.
Hey it diddnt say ‘win’ just ‘beat’ 😉
chimpanzee would rip you the fuck apart, more than a gorilla
Yeah, a chimpanzee will straight up rip your arms off and beat you to death with them. They have zero chill, and a massive proportion of fast-twitch muscle (which means they can create huge bursts of strength, but struggle with fine motor control.)
I’ve played enough RPGs to know you can lose to a rat, even with a sword and armor equipped
Still remember my nuclear submarine being sunk by a bunch of biremes in Rise
isof Nations
