Given that humans are mostly water, we would probably die…instantly? Within a few minutes?
Definitely very very quickly.
Obviously that’s not what “replace all water with milk” means. It means just replacing the water in water form. Like oceans, rivers, and aqueducts. If it meant also the water content of other stuff like the body it just wouldn’t be possible, because milk is mostly water and you would have to replace that as well
It is a genie. That’s exactly what it means when she says “replace all the water in the world with milk”. Genies hate people. They are malicious spirits that have been imprisoned by sorcerrers to serve them and their wishes. The only thing is that it probably isn’t going to work because they are not omnipotent and have limited power usually. Enough to “fulfill a wish” of a greedy dude and fuck them over in the process, but not enough to destroy the universe.
But even a genie can’t replace the water in milk with milk because it doesn’t make sense, so that cannot be the genie’s interpretation of the wish
Have you never done a “replace all” in a word document?
All of the water inside milk is now milk. All the stuff that wasn’t water that had already been in milk is now mixed in with the new milk. You have double milk. Mmilklk.
But by replacing the water part of the milk with milk you’ve replaced some of that water with water which isn’t replacing it with milk, and if you keep going you’ve replaced all water with butter which is not milk.
The wish wasn’t worded recursively.
Replace all water with evaporated milk, all life dies instantly
What we call “milk” contains around 87% water. All water now contains 13% pure milk. Done.
Genies hate people
“As a reward for freeing me”
Doesn’t sound like this one does.
Genies lie, they are malicious. They want to screw you over but are compelled to grant you those.
Often, but not always. Robin Williams’ Genie wasn’t malicious, Hell, even when he could have chosen to interpret Jafar’s wishes to not give him what he wanted, he didn’t.
The problem is you’re trying to apply logic to magic. Magic doesn’t do things logically, it just does them.
Magic is that --force flag you put into your commands (sorry).
Genies like to fuck with you, they would be fine killing everyone
Nah, there’d be nobody around for them to torture anymore, or to appreciate this particular bit of fuckery. The wish as it is is bad enough there’s no need to twist it.
It’s just more milk per milk
I wonder what happens if you rehydrate evaporated milk with milk?
Approximately the same as if you just use half as much water, thicker milk
What is water form? If I were to drink a glass of water, would it be in “water form?”
A few days later it would be an interesting situation with all those rancid milk oceans with dead fish.
Milktrout. It will put hair on your bones
Free chowder!
I mean, having the shits is gonna be the least of our problems. All marine life will cease to exist, so diarrhea is only a problem for a little while.
Not all marine life, just the big stuff. We just added a ton of sugar, fat and protein to the ocean, so I think we’re going to see an explosion of microbial life.
Now, with milk being opaque, I think we are going to kill most of the phytoplankton and replace it with bacteria that produce CO2 as a byproduct of their metabolism, so I do think we’re going to drastically change the Earth’s atmosphere and more or less run out of oxygen eventually, so we are definitely all dead. It’s just a question of how long it takes.
She wouldn’t have even had time to get to wish 2 and 3. “All water” includes the water in her body. Turning all of it into milk would probably kill you.
Plot twist: only destilated water got turned, effects are minimal
All toilets are still destroyed tho
For once the Money Paw clause is… helpful?
Make everyone lactose intolerance: everyone is a malfunctioning system now.
Sorry, she should have written:
Make everyone a lactose.
Milk is 87 percent water. If the water in milk is replaced, there would be water in that milk. Potentially creating an explosion of milk everywhere or a tremendous thickening of the milk.
All life on Earth dies because every life form has 13% of their water content replaced with pure milk. Including the one who made the wish. Supernatural entities like jinns might be okay, though.
Intolerant*
Yeah. I saw it too. But it’s not bothering me enough to edit the original author’s mistake
PerfectionNetorare what?
tolerate it
But I’m grammar error intolerant 🙁
Normal milk is still mostly water so basically everything turns in some kind of dense rancid cheese?
Yes. Be afraid.
Cursed involuntary jet propulsion.
Lactose, shrimp. The next strip will be related to peanut butter.
You’re in for a curveball
But it’s still funny!
Yup, that sells her as evil way more than shitty recycling.
How well do toilets fare if water is replaced with milk?
Given that they were all destroyed right after all the water became milk, I would say not well
