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just_another_person@lemmy.world to politics @lemmy.world · 8 months ago

'Beyond stupid': McConnell begs House Republicans not to blow election with a shutdown

www.rawstory.com

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'Beyond stupid': McConnell begs House Republicans not to blow election with a shutdown

www.rawstory.com

just_another_person@lemmy.world to politics @lemmy.world · 8 months ago
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  • FuglyDuck@lemmy.world
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    8 months ago

    “please don’t fuck over the american people and shut down the government, in a short sighted gotcha because that would ruin my long-term plans to fuck over the american people.”

    -Bitch McConnell

    • RunningInRVA@lemmy.world
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      8 months ago

      His long term plans of fucking Americans were complete long before this election cycle.

      • FuglyDuck@lemmy.world
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        8 months ago

        He still has more!

        • RunningInRVA@lemmy.world
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          8 months ago

          Does he? I thought he kept freezing up and then slithering away.

          • partial_accumen@lemmy.world
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            8 months ago

            He freezes in shock when someone discovers and destroys one of his Horcruxes.

          • FuglyDuck@lemmy.world
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            8 months ago

            People like that?

            Always scheming. Always.

          • DogPeePoo@lemm.ee
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            8 months ago

            He was running low on his Unicorn blood transfusion

        • thefartographer@lemm.ee
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          8 months ago

          Not if we can find and destroy all of his horcruxes

          • MegaUltraChicken@lemmy.world
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            8 months ago

            How are we gonna destroy Ted Cruz’s beard?

      • abff08f4813c@j4vcdedmiokf56h3ho4t62mlku.srv.us
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        8 months ago

        TBH I never expected this. As he declines from old age ( as I inferred from https://apnews.com/article/mitch-mcconnell-senate-republican-leader-stepping-down-ba478d570a4561aa7baf91a204d7e366 and https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/congress/watch-mitch-mcconnell-freeze-press-conference-rcna96486 ) he’s actually becoming a reasonable, sensible politician.

        Well, on second thought, I’m being too optimistic.

    • JesusSon@lemmy.world
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      8 months ago

      That’s Moscow Bitch McConnell to you buddy

      • ravhall@discuss.onlineBanned
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        8 months ago

        It’s weird how all the Republicans have the same first and middle name

      • FuglyDuck@lemmy.world
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        8 months ago

        Moscow’s bitch McConnel can fuck off to that village the got for american expats. You know. The one right next to the front lines.

        • Tolookah@discuss.tchncs.de
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          8 months ago

          The one that somehow, in a way that only Minecraft and Escher could pull off, is only stairs and high windows?

          • FuglyDuck@lemmy.world
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            8 months ago

            I mean… I wouldn’t trust the construction…

            (or anything else. I’d just assume that anyone who took that offer would be off to the war in ukraine.)

    • Hideakikarate@sh.itjust.works
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      8 months ago

      Does he even have long term plans? After his little “episodes”… last year? God, time is weird now.

      • FuglyDuck@lemmy.world
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        8 months ago

        An explanation. Maybe

  • Sterile_Technique@lemmy.world
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    8 months ago

  • Ghostalmedia@lemmy.world
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    8 months ago

    Complicating things further, former President Donald Trump has demanded that the House pass the bill as is, and let the government shut down if they can’t get it through.

    This fucking guy again. Cause chaos, then run as the solution to the chaos.

    • Billiam@lemmy.world
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      8 months ago

      In other words, a consummate Republican.

      The GOP campaigns on problems; the Dems campaign on solutions. Unfortunately, one of those is much easier to message than the other.

    • danc4498@lemmy.world
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      8 months ago

      Republicans! Fuck up the government then run on “minimize the government cause it’s so fucked up”.

  • beliquititious@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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    8 months ago

    I sincerely hope his plea goes unanswered. I might be mixing up a few empty suits, but wasn’t mitch the guy that played chicken with shutting down the government during the Obama administration and was yhe leading voice in the “the scary brown man can’t disrupt our plans for the court” bullshit that happened during Obama’s time in office.

    Shame we don’t live in a just world.

    • jackeryjoo@lemmy.world
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      2 months ago

      deleted by creator

      • lolcatnip@reddthat.com
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        8 months ago

        There’s plenty of blame to go around for that one. Trump and The Heritage Foundation also played key roles.

        • jackeryjoo@lemmy.world
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          deleted by creator

  • The Pantser@lemmy.world
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    8 months ago

    Seen here accusing Nancy Pelosi of stealing his precious.

  • gravitas_deficiency@sh.itjust.works
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    8 months ago

    McConnell subsequently added the following commentary:

    ​

    • cybersandwich@lemmy.world
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      deleted by creator

  • NutWrench@lemmy.ml
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    8 months ago

    “The tortoise lays on its back, its belly baking in the hot sun, beating its legs, trying to turn itself over but it can’t. Not without your help. But you’re not helping.”

    Damn right, I’m not helping.

    • shalafi@lemmy.world
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      8 months ago

      “How does that make you feel about… Trump?”

  • Sludgehammer@lemmy.world
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    8 months ago

    Even a turtle realizes when something can threaten its existence.

  • werefreeatlast@lemmy.worldBanned
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    Also, why doesn’t most of McConnell just blow as dust in the wind yet? How do I get whatever he got instead of cremation? That guy is mummy old as heck.

    • themadcodger@kbin.earth
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      8 months ago

      Wasn’t his hand necrotic at one point?

      • barsquid@lemmy.world
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        8 months ago

        That happens because he missed a meal of children’s blood. He is a deep state pedo vampire drinking children’s blood as part of a pact with Satan. People are saying he smells like sulphur.

      • Etterra@lemmy.world
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        8 months ago

        That’s not the only withered piece of his anatomy. Allegedly.

      • Boddhisatva@lemmy.world
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        8 months ago

        Yes. His soul too.

    • CileTheSane@lemmy.ca
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      8 months ago

      McConnell is kept “alive” by the curse on the USA that came about when it was built on top of an Indian burial ground.

  • Furbag@lemmy.world
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    They’d just blame the Democrats anyway. Republicans thrive in dysfunction because they can convince their low info base that nothing bad is ever their fault.

  • Noxy@yiffit.net
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    he hasn’t died or wandered off confused yet?

    • CileTheSane@lemmy.ca
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      The dark magic keeping him running is still going strong

    • HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world
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      I’m not sure we could tell

  • Honytawk@lemmy.zip
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    Did he improve his connection bandwidth to the aliens for this one?

    Or was he still waiting for multiple minutes before responding?

  • werefreeatlast@lemmy.worldBanned
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    😂😆 LOL! Please guys I’m begging 🙏! Don’t 😂😆 LOL! Don’t shut the government! Don’t! LOL… Oh fuck LOL 😅😆. Don’t 😂. Psych! Shit it down now! Let the record show that it was me who said that too… wouldn’t want to republican this bitch real gud and not take ownersh…no, what’s the word!? Department of education!

    • ravhall@discuss.onlineBanned
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      Shit it down!!

      • werefreeatlast@lemmy.worldBanned
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        Best auto correct ever! LOL Republicans! Assemble! Shit it down! Shit it down now! Now before anyone could benefit from any of the poor services provided by the fed via our tax dollars.

  • Gerudo@lemm.ee
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    8 months ago

    Narrator : They shutdown

  • ATDA@lemmy.world
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    The shutdown didn’t effect me at all. Since Republicans are so about fuck you got mine… Do it bitches, shut it down. Do it you fucking cowards.

    Or don’t and look like idiots I didn’t give a shit haha.

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