This meme makes no sense because SMB93 is a masterpiece.

Pitch Black and Chronicles of Riddick

Only 4 1/2 stars?

I would love to see a director’s cut of that film because it was a victim of massive executive meddling after the fact.

It was directed by Annabel Jankel and Rocky Morton, who created and directed both the British and U.S. versions of Max Headroom, which is why it has a cyberpunk look. It was co-written by Ed Solomon, who wrote Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure and Men in Black.

And then executives shat all over it.

You also have to remember that in 1993, there was almost no Mario lore. Mario was a guy who jumped on mushrooms and turtles to rescue the princess and sometimes got extra powers to help him. Luigi was his brother who could basically do the same thing. There was really no characterization and plot to speak of. They had a ton of freedom to do whatever they wanted and that freedom was taken away from them.

There is a cut out there done by my friend Garrett Gilchrist, who also restored The Thief and the Cobbler, where he tried to get it as close to Jankel and Morton’s original cut as he could, using things like workprints. But we’ll never know exactly how good it could have been.

Tank Girl was a very similar situation, but still ended up an okay film.

The langoliers will always have a spot for me to watch it.

Also : OH HI MARK

I’ve always enjoyed it for what it was; A campy, goofy movie based on a video game. It never took itself too seriously, and it just kind of accepted itself. Just watched Borderlands, for example, and it was horrible and flat. The characters were there, but they weren’t the characters, just 2D imaginings of them. Anyway, looking up reviews, I found a great one that compared it to the '93 SMB. They said that we needed another SMB, and we didn’t get it, Borderlands wasn’t “interestingly stupid”. That’s a great term. Interestingly Stupid is definitely what SMB was, simultaneously a blast, while also being the dumbest thing you ever saw, and you can never quite put your finger on the reason it(kinda) worked.

Riddick was awesome and I’m tired pretending that it was not

I watched the Mario Bros movie as an adult a few years back and really enjoyed it. It was a fun take on the lore!

The only thing I felt was weak was Dennis Hopper. His performance had strong “I’m too good for this” vibes. Based on the other things I know him from, that’s wildly untrue - it should have been a great fit for him. Chew the scenery and be an arsehole - basically be the Deacon from Waterworld, or the villain from Speed!

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2.

Go ninja go ninja go…

Hook my beloved. I understand objectively why it is not a good movie, but having watched it 852 times throughout my childhood, I could not find fault with it on a recent rewatch.

edit: I watched that movie so early and so often, that I can recite whole scenes not by word, but by phonemes and cadence, because my language skills weren’t fully developed at the time.

It wasn’t until 2024 that the world understood how perfect it was to cast John Leguizamo as Luigi.

Fun fact, the two leads were drunk most of that movie because, well, because they were the two leads in that movie.

The directors, yes two of them, were horrible to work with according to pretty much everyone that worked on it.

Willow 1988 my first taste of fantasy

Airborne 1993 put me in a rollarblading phase

Tremors 1990 all three are good fun

Sleepaway Camp

Krull the conqueror which not only is a terrible movie but also a terrible game and I love both. Then again Im 50 and I love many bad videoganes from the Atari era such as ET or Delta Force (also bad game and movie also produced by Cannon films)

edit Krull not Kull the Conqueror